Welcome back to our monthly comic series, Doofus and Darling. If you had Highlights for Children magazine when you were young, you’ve seen Goofus and Gallant. If not, it probably doesn’t matter anyway.
Sneer Campaign 500th Episode Spectacular
Hello, I’m Amandoll and today we’re here to honor the world’s favorite miscellaneous underappreciated humor site on the internet, the one you are on right now: the Sneer Campaign. Maybe you’ll see long lost footage, never before seen material unless you follow us on Facebook, and references to your favorite articles. I really don’t know how this is going to turn out because who plans what they’re going to say? Apparently not me! So strap on your safety belts, readers, so that your pants don’t fly off with all of the excitement!
Sneer Campaign began as a brainchild of Dollissa and me, with reluctant support from cchris. We have told this story before, and probably a lot of what I’m about to say in the rest of this article, but sadly I don’t have all 499 other articles posted at this time memorized. This is a clip show anyway, so you didn’t come here expecting all fresh material. BUT how did three people from different parts of the world meet in the first place, you ask? Why, through the magic of Fate and the Internet, of course!
SneerCon First Annual Convention of Sneerists
It’s finally time to embark on a journey to the land of Sneer! Unlike most conventions that are typically set in one city per year, or even the same city, the SneerCon will be traveling the world with all the best that Sneer Campaign has to offer. Hey, we want to travel! Admission is free with only your eternal devotion.
Strange and Forgotten Sneer Constellations
Sure, the Sneer Campaign is the Sun and the Moon, but did you know that we are also all the stars in the sky? Of course you knew! It’s written in your heart. And now it is also written in this soon to be award-winning content which you are now reading in your eyes. Next time you are trapped outdoors just turn your eyes to the skies. If it’s not too cloudy out, we’ll help you find some legendary and practically unknown constellations up there. Find a nice grassy spot with few trees, so you can look right up, and follow our guide.
In Sneers We Trust
We are not a religious bunch of people. We are barely even spiritual. I’d characterize us each as people who are interested in simply being good, maybe even beyond reproach. Maybe some of the Junior Sneerists just bump along, existing until inevitably dying and turning to dust. That is to say, this was all the case until we discovered some rubble that was once a temple. Within that rubble were complete sketches of how the temple once looked, and mostly-indecipherable texts describing the rituals and beliefs of the worshipers who once populated this place.
The temple may be a metaphor, but the religion is real: Sneerholicism
TarotScopes: Aug Days of Summer
I remember as a kid getting terribly sullen around this time of year because school was about to start back up. A part of me still gets down when I see those first leaves start to turn crispy in August. It’s just a reminder of colder months around the corner and having to get down to business.
The Full Moon on the 7th will really drive home the need for personal success, for some it may be attained at any cost. Not too long after that on the 12th we have that tricky Mercury Retrograde which will last till September 5th. You have probably been feeling a bit out of sorts anyhow, since these things tend to affect us 10 days before and after. Triple check any work you put out, make sure everyone is on the same page, and expect hiccups regardless of your preparedness. On the 21st we have quite a treat in store… a solar eclipse and a new moon!!! So now we will find ourselves rethinking some tough decisions, some of us will receive an epiphany, of sorts. Some of us may play the “bad guy” for the betterment of all. There may be some secrets that come out and light is shined on the darkness. With Uranus going retro too and staying strong well into January, there is bound to be upheavals on a grand scale. Try to look at it as an opportunity to redirect ourselves. And interestingly enough the Sun card in reverse is coming up for lots of signs, and it seems very fitting for this August.
As always, consider your Moon and Rising sign in addition to your Sun. What comes through for each sign is general. If you wish to have a more personalized reading, please hit my name in the sidebar which should take you to my Etsy shop or message me on my FB page Tarot By Tonyana.
Let’s see what August holds for us…
Irrational Fear Comics: What Is Even Real
We have a lot of fears. Some make sense; others, not so much. This latter type will be featured once monthly until we run out of material, at which point, we might begin accepting the fears of our readers.
I love describing my dynamic with cchris to anyone who has a moment to listen, because I never have been able to understand it. I even mention it on here as much as I can, partly because it’s part of my character makeup, and partly because I really am that bewildered by it. Over the years, things have shifted and changed. When I realized that he is very mysterious, my imagination occasionally will step in and try to figure out WHY. Who is so good at not giving out personal facts? For this many years? Is it villainy? Is it because there’s nothing there? Is it to appear more interesting? What is there to hide, and if there is nothing to hide — WHY.
The irrational fear depicted in the comic has OMGJeremy to blame. Apparently he thinks that cchris and I write similarly, and maybe it is HIS irrational fear that I am pretending to be this whole other person. When he first told me of this, I did have a little while where I might have been horrified and fearful at the possibility. That would be world-shattering to realize. But I guess I don’t fear it, exactly. If it turns out it’s all been in my head, that’s almost impressive. I could live with it. I could live with having made a little Canadian Tulpa. That’s fine. Whatever. I would just like to know for sure before I die of old age.
Furcadia: An Investigative Report
First came the tentacle rape.
It was the beginning in a long line of horrors that OMGJeremy has subjected me to in his articles since the very beginning in 2002. (OMGJeremy.com was the site that most of us used to write for.) But you know what they say: what doesn’t kill you can only make you stronger. Well, I must be invincible by now. And not only have I seen a lot, but I’ve written about a lot too, articles that have been lost to time mostly, including a review of a site that teaches women how to rape their husbands. But in 2003, I found something that managed to combine all of those and more. It’s as if all my nightmares Go-Go-Power-Morphed into some unholy Megazord and returned to feed me my own ass.
“What is it?” you’re probably asking as you close the door and open a new browser window. Why It’s none other than Furcadia — an online game that let you take on the role of an animal and interact with others in a series of dream worlds. And not surprisingly in the least, it contains the three big staples of the internet diet: furries, cybersex, and MMORPGs.
Adventures in Romance
Around here, we always have lofty goals. We always have had lofty goals! On one such occasion, cchris and I decided for about five minutes that our time would be best spent as a writing POWERHOUSE duo for writing romance novels. I mean, we are both experts, and we have big ideas that should be lucrative. As you can see in this comic, things were actually going incredibly well, and we should write a little of it every day and then release a line of romance novels on Amazon’s self-publishing services. Isn’t that the dream? Isn’t that the reality of thousands of people? Thousands of MILLIONAIRES from their author career paths they’ve chosen. God I mean look at how well I’m writing today!
Clearly this is the best destiny I’ve got going. Click the comic, if necessary.
The Shadow Knows
The Shadow started as a narrator for a radio show meant to advertise the Detective Story Magazine pulps. As big fans of pulp fiction, from westerns to undersea tales, we wanted to honor The Shadow today, on the anniversary of his debut in 1930. He remained a narrator for a little over 5 years, before they decided to fashion him after the pulp hero of the same name, with his own stories (the pulp version of The Shadow started in 1931, after his narration debut).
The Shadow has many disguises as he travels the world avenging any wrongs. His persona differed slightly depending on the media, but he was always the mysterious Shadow, fedora and cape. From radio to books, to film and almost television, he traveled not just his fictional world, but made the rounds in ours too. He was even voiced on the air by a young Orson Welles for a year.
Spooky indeed. Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men…?
Enjoy this little overindulgent self-portrait of us as THE SHADOW, because this is the closest we will ever get to cosplaying. Drawings of ourselves.