I talk about my sister often on Sneer Campaign. She’s pretty great! And if you memorize every word we say, you’ll remember that she’s a veterinarian and has two beautiful, big-headed, cuddly pit bulls. If you didn’t know, pit bull is pretty much an umbrella term, often also referred to as “bully breeds” and carries a lot of weight with it. (The weight is mostly in their giant silly heads.)

Tembo and Laika are two of the best dogs that anyone could hope for. Both were rescued and adopted into my sister’s loving, happy home. They’re as close as my sister and I were as kids. We still are, but maybe not as adorably.

woof

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If you’re like me, you think that time spent in the bathroom could be used for some other things. Multitasking is essential in 2017 and if you aren’t doing something while you piss no matter how few seconds it takes, it’s wasted time.

learn always

June is Bathroom Reading Month, so clear off that shelf of toilet paper and toss it under the sink. Dust if off and turn it into your Bathroom Bookshelf or your “Poop Library,” if you’re feeling elegant. Show up to your social events with new and interesting things to say, all because you drink the right amount of water or ate too much fruit.

 

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Friends have been talking about this show for a bit, but of course I waited for it to be on Netflix, my lord and savior. Now that the first season is up, I get what all the chatter was about. First of all, nice job Netflix with the spot featuring Cole Sprouse eating that burger. And fantastic job, The CW, for all of the rest of it. This show is already renewed for a second season, thank goodness. If you know me at all and we speak on a regular basis, I have already told you every line, plot, actor, setting, and other details of this show, whether you wanted me to or not.

jughot amirite

Anyway, as you can see by the way it says that Jughead is “finally” eating a burger that it’s not the Archie you know and love. It’s the Riverdale that you’ll get to know and then love. It’s a “subversive take” on the Archie comics characters. That pretty much means it’s Dark Archie but what it delivers is even better. What you get is some sort of fabulous and strange version of The O.C. combined with Scooby-Doo! Mystery Incorporated, but with Archie characters. As it turns out, that’s all I’ve ever wanted in such a show.

 

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Apparently, I am going to quote the bible. Are you ready? “When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things.”

no opinions here

I totally agree, Christian bible, in spite of our other differences. At some point in your life, you do have to put away childish things. But first, you have to decide what those childish things are. It takes years and maturity to discover that what was once appropriate is no longer. This is not to say that you cannot watch cartoons or play with toys, but that you shouldn’t still pick your nose or slap dogs in the face (not that children should either).

 

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This series will explore some of the works in our store, Sneer1Imports. We wanted to tell the stories behind the designs and illustrations. Some have long histories, some were funny suggestions, and others were favors. Please join us on a journey of love, sneers, pens, and art!

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This design is great as a card or spiral notebook and as one amazing customer has shown us, apparently is just the most perfect onesie available for babies. We love you, customer. We also happen to think it’s a cute tote bag, if you want to be more chill about it.

 

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Mysteries of the Unknown is a Time-Life Series of books published from 1987 to 1991. They’re amazing. They focus on all things paranormal and weird as shit. For some reason, these books were a gigantic hit. They broke every record Time-Life had when they were produced, and they’re famous for the wacky commercials. Atlas Obscura wrote this great thing about them.

Well, I happen to have some of these books and I can impart this wisdom straight from its pages into your eyes. I have inherited these books from my father and 7 of the set of 33 remain. The others are probably somewhere in storage.

From sea serpents to yeti, dragons to griffins, mystery is all around us.

Mysteries of the Unknown: Mysterious Creatures

This is mostly about Nessie. It starts with other creatures like giant squids, which definitely exist, and whales not discovered until the early 1900s. It includes a bit of history of sea serpent sightings as well. But then it’s all Nessie all the time.

 

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Dear Trent,

My friends say that guitarists are off-limits for me, but since you’re fictional anyway I’m gonna go for it. In an era of strange and uninteresting male MTV stars, you stood out as at least a hunk. A slacker, nihilist, sarcastic hunk. What a dreamboat.

trentttt

You were grungy, aloof, a little dumb, and hot. We liked your punky skinny jeans and your idiotic lyrics. You spent a lot of time thinking of ways to get more sleep. Same, Trent.

 

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