How to Be Charitable, in the Modern Age

It’s possible that this is not a universal problem. It’s possible trying repeatedly to contact local charities and non-profits and never hearing back is something that happens to only me. It’s possible that these particular places are bad at responding. It’s also possible that they hate me and are ignoring me. Yes, all 17 of them.

If you’re wondering what the hell I’m talking about, let me enlighten you. I am a nice person occasionally, and I like to help people out. Although I do sometimes donate money, when I am dealing with local organizations, I prefer to offer time, resources, or even pay for things they need and bring it to them. Generally, I find a non-profit or charity that mentions specific items they need. I contact them at the exact email address where they say “contact us about this” and I often follow up to the address listed on a Contact Us page on their website.

I’ve offered everything from dozens of children’s books to school supplies, from winter clothes to storage containers, from “I heard that there was some interest” to “anything you need.” (For the record, I am not offering them my old shit, I offer to buy brand new things for all of them.) I have done this many, many times, to many people and organizations in the city that I love and reside in. I have never, ever heard back.

Generosity by Amanda Wood

Anyway, here is how to give much-needed goods to a local non-profit.

Warning: Based on a true story.

Step 1: Choose a charity or non-profit
Step 2: Email the specific person in charge of the project
Step 3: Wait 4-5 business days
Step 4: Reach out to another department or a more general address
Step 5: Wait 4-5 business days
Step 6: Find them on Facebook and make sure it’s active; send a message
Step 7: Wait 4-5 business days
Step 8: Check out a recent event where they say “contact us here” and contact them there (bonus “typical” points if that is one of the emails you already wrote to)
Step 9: Wait 4-5 business days
Step 10: Throw all your donations into the ocean, go to sleep

Generosity by Amanda Wood

 

Epilogue: I successfully donated to a wonderful and worthy project in my town, finally, just a few days ago! Thank you councilman for responding to me. You would probably be surprised how rarely it happens.

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