Sleep doesn’t really come to me easily. I am regularly snubbed by the Sandman, and I have been for many, many years now. I’ve tried a lot of different methods to promote a peaceful slumber, regular sleep patterns, or even just a block of snoozing that winds up being semi-restful. Some things work for a while, but apparently my unconscious mind hates routine as much as my awake mind does, because it eventually gets bored and rejects it. Boo hoo all I want is to sleep!

This is all I ever want!

However, over the past few months, I have discovered the joys of hours-long YouTube videos with ambient sounds! It actually worked for me to drift off while listening to ten hours of rainfall, eleven hours of rushing stream, or twelve hours of ocean sounds. When I realized that hours of moving-water noises might actually mess with my sleeping bladder, I tried nifty things like eight hours of forest and six hours of English countryside and dear lord even eight hours of a cat purring. Those sunny ones were both good for having that midday nap feeling and the cat one somehow begins to massage the center of your brain… I have even dozed happily to twelve hours of ambient engine noise from a Star Trek ship, even though I do not really ever watch that show!

Tibetan bowls, lakes, white noise, the sounds of busy restaurants, and binaural theta waves – there are so many excellent videos on here just to make our lives more restful. Thousands of hours just sitting there, waiting for you to discover and test out. But, there are some that just don’t do it right. The first couple of times were accidental, but I immediately noticed that they affected me as I slept. I’ve gone and tested a few in the name of SCIENCE and I’ve come out a changed person – a more cautious person. I am here to tell you to not do these things. Do not do as I have done.

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Here is the illustrious Conrad Hilton, of the noble Hilton family, immortalized in his most glorious shining moment, when he spat out “PEASANTS!” at everyone on a plane during a classy temper tantrum. He is twenty years old at the time of this writing.

Conrad Hilton Makes a Point by Amanda Wood

Broad City is a 100% perfect show, and how could you not love season 2’s breakout character, voiced by Paul Downs, who also plays Trey, Abbi’s manager? Was that sentence confusing? We mean Bingo Bronson of course.

A lot of things happen in this episode, Wisdom Teeth, and you should really just watch it. However, the most memorable part featured our new favorite character, Bingo.

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We would like to extend all the well-wishing in the world to Mr. Harrison Ford, an invaluable treasure of an actor who seems to live life teetering on the edge of accidental annihilation. He was recently in a plane crash. He is currently recovering. We hope he heals swiftly and is up and flying around again soon!

Harrison Ford: America's Fabergé Egg

Thank you to Justin Pierce, maker of The Non-Adventures of Wonderella, for the idea. You should read all of his comics, because they are excellent. You could also stand to read Wonderella’s Twitter feed.

Here are some important facts about Fabergé Eggs:

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My friends and I discuss important topics quite regularly. On this day, AlexT and I addressed the idea that the human brain is the most erotic organ in the body. As this is just a short conversation, we cut straight to the chase and look at my very own brain. I tell you, it’s just like a fully accurate MRI of what is inside this noggin.

Groucho Brain Comic by Amanda Wood

Long have we all heard the cry, “Never forget the Alamo!” Or is it, “Remember the Alamo”? One of these things has been echoing out of Texas for our lifetimes, and maybe some lifetimes before ours. But what is it really? What IS the Alamo? I know I could ask wikipedia, but I’m asking you, on this, the anniversary of The Battle of the Alamo! Pop quiz, kidlets.

Amandy Crockett

In the meantime, I’ll tell you what I know for sure.

The Alamo is in Texas, of course. It is a fortress. I’ve been told that it is smaller than you’d think. On March 6, one hundred and seventy-nine years ago, a bunch of American soldiers and living legends got killed by Mexican soldiers. I think the reason Texas considers it a victory is because the Americans held out for an astonishingly long time in the face of such strong adversity. But the Alamo should be remembered for far more important things than that.

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