Several months ago, the United Nations appointed the glossy-coated man-thing, Leonardo DiCaprio, to be an official Messenger of Peace to the world. He will focus his valuable time and energy to requesting that the human inhabitants of his planet, Earth, pay better attention to impending environmental doom. He goes so far to expect that we get off our slack ponies and actually prevent it from happening! You and I might hope that the human race rises to the challenge, but important men such as Mr. DiCaprio, former child star, have the drive and the money to actually make it so.

Master DiCaprio by Amanda Wood

 

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Amandoll likes to make comics based on real conversations she has. She has kind of a backlog set up, so this is just one out of a hundred. Some day, you’ll grow to love all of the characters. Here, she and Chris interact and a new facet of their personalities is revealed. Their personality? Shared personality? Gross, probably.

Click to make it bigger!

Priss & Demanda #1

We mentioned Dumbo recently in our post about how Tim Burton is going to ruin it. The 1941 animated film Dumbo was based on a toy. The toy idea was pretty much just a storytelling device anyway, and Disney bought the toy in order to make the movie.

During the making of the movie, there was a strike. What led to the strike – including economic turmoil, the war, more unions, and Disney’s reduction in bonuses to employees – is a whole other story. Although the strike lasted five weeks, Dumbo was finished and released. It was made using approximately $950,000.

After a glorious introduction of circus music during the credits, the movie starts by showing us a bunch of adorable baby animals tumbling out of their blankets after being dropped off by storks, the UPS of the Animal Kingdom. All baby animals appear to only have a mother, except for the lucky tiger litter, who seem to have a whopping two parents. Mrs. Jumbo waits sadly for a delivery of her own.

Then, as if circuses aren’t awful places, and probably especially awful in 1941, a crew of smiling animals calmly walk to their homes, each into the appropriate car on the train. For some reason, the train is also a living thing, named Casey Junior. At least he has a great theme song!

And don’t worry about Mrs. Jumbo. You see she has the same UPS guy as me, and he was just exceptionally late. Also: clumsy and unable to read a map. He chases down the train and hops from car to car in a way that only a cartoon bird would.

He finds her with her nosy elephant cohorts and recites some poetry at her, then asks for a signature. Then he sings happy birthday into the bundle, at little Jumbo Jr., while hiccuping oddly, like some sort of drunk, before falling out the window.

Mrs. Jumbo’s bitchy elephant diva cohorts are bitchy elephant divas. We’ll get back to them.

Baby Dumbo is literally the cutest thing that has ever happened on the earth.

Then, he sneezes, and bitchy diva elephants laugh, point, touch, and gossip when his adorable giant ears flap out. Mrs. Jumbo strikes out for the first time, angrily swatting them away from her baby. The mean ladies nickname him Dumbo, to be mean, but it’s pretty cute.

Mean Old Elephant by Amanda Wood

Whatever, bitches. Mrs. Jumbo is in love with her baby boy and his ears, as any mother would be.

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We know you want to know more about us, so here are some things: Dollissa would only ever wear faux fur and does like to keep kittens in her coat pockets. Amandoll likes milkshakes but doesn’t really like frivolous scarves, although she will make exceptions here and there.

Art Deco Us by Amanda Wood

Stay tuned, as always, for more!

Sleep doesn’t really come to me easily. I am regularly snubbed by the Sandman, and I have been for many, many years now. I’ve tried a lot of different methods to promote a peaceful slumber, regular sleep patterns, or even just a block of snoozing that winds up being semi-restful. Some things work for a while, but apparently my unconscious mind hates routine as much as my awake mind does, because it eventually gets bored and rejects it. Boo hoo all I want is to sleep!

This is all I ever want!

However, over the past few months, I have discovered the joys of hours-long YouTube videos with ambient sounds! It actually worked for me to drift off while listening to ten hours of rainfall, eleven hours of rushing stream, or twelve hours of ocean sounds. When I realized that hours of moving-water noises might actually mess with my sleeping bladder, I tried nifty things like eight hours of forest and six hours of English countryside and dear lord even eight hours of a cat purring. Those sunny ones were both good for having that midday nap feeling and the cat one somehow begins to massage the center of your brain… I have even dozed happily to twelve hours of ambient engine noise from a Star Trek ship, even though I do not really ever watch that show!

Tibetan bowls, lakes, white noise, the sounds of busy restaurants, and binaural theta waves – there are so many excellent videos on here just to make our lives more restful. Thousands of hours just sitting there, waiting for you to discover and test out. But, there are some that just don’t do it right. The first couple of times were accidental, but I immediately noticed that they affected me as I slept. I’ve gone and tested a few in the name of SCIENCE and I’ve come out a changed person – a more cautious person. I am here to tell you to not do these things. Do not do as I have done.

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Here is the illustrious Conrad Hilton, of the noble Hilton family, immortalized in his most glorious shining moment, when he spat out “PEASANTS!” at everyone on a plane during a classy temper tantrum. He is twenty years old at the time of this writing.

Conrad Hilton Makes a Point by Amanda Wood

Broad City is a 100% perfect show, and how could you not love season 2’s breakout character, voiced by Paul Downs, who also plays Trey, Abbi’s manager? Was that sentence confusing? We mean Bingo Bronson of course.

A lot of things happen in this episode, Wisdom Teeth, and you should really just watch it. However, the most memorable part featured our new favorite character, Bingo.

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We would like to extend all the well-wishing in the world to Mr. Harrison Ford, an invaluable treasure of an actor who seems to live life teetering on the edge of accidental annihilation. He was recently in a plane crash. He is currently recovering. We hope he heals swiftly and is up and flying around again soon!

Harrison Ford: America's Fabergé Egg

Thank you to Justin Pierce, maker of The Non-Adventures of Wonderella, for the idea. You should read all of his comics, because they are excellent. You could also stand to read Wonderella’s Twitter feed.

Here are some important facts about Fabergé Eggs:

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