Summertime at the Sneer HQ

It’s been over 90F (32C) more often than not since April! Trees have been melting, and the birds fall out of the sky, fully cooked, into our open mouths. It’s been summer for two full months already but we forgot to fulfill our promise from the Springtime article until today! Better late than never, what do you want from us?

fwewf

We know that you’d love to know what else we do as we swelter and die for weeks and months out of the year because we don’t have central air conditioning. How do we cope? How can we even live? It does seem like a mystery and it is one that I don’t even want to overthink, in case acknowledging it will break the spell, and suddenly we won’t be able to survive anymore in this world.

As you can see, we keep busy:

Sunday

Is it the weekend? Does anyone care?

  • Dollissa works and naps
  • Amandoll tries to make sneer content for the week — makes half of one post
  • Lisa visits friends, sees a movie
  • Manny plays a game that none of the rest of us have ever asked about
  • The cats ask for kibble which we then provide — repeat every several hours
  • A bat appears in the upstairs pantry and we shoo it out

squeak

 

Monday

Garbage Day!

  • We gather our trash and recycling
  • Gather the compost and then decide to compost it “later”
  • Stare at the overabundance of cucumbers and tomatoes, many withering on the vine
  • Talk about weeding the garden beds, say that we will do it at night but then don’t
  • It’s 100F and we are already dying at 11AM
  • Go inside to have a nap
  • Too hot to nap
  • Remember to write an article
  • Manny thinks there’s a bat in the house. We all get under blankets and close our doors. It was Custard.
  • We look over the list of Important House Maintenance things that we have to call professionals to do for us and agree that we really need to finally call. Just not today.
  • Too hot to sleep at night, already we are all cranky about this

ahoo

 

Tuesday

Oh god. We really should clean the house.

  • Amandoll reminds everyone that her parents will be over tomorrow morning
  • Rearrange stacks of clutter half-heartedly
  • Amandoll remarks that she doesn’t want to spend her whole life washing dishes
  • Dollissa announces to everyone that she’s going to take a nap, leaves 3 hours later to take a nap
  • “Why are the cats still shedding?”
  • Remember to make content for Sneer Campaign just in time
  • It’s 105F; we melt
  • Should we try to eat? Food sounds so gross and warm
  • Dollissa and Manny watch TV for seven hours
  • Two bats in one day inside the house
  • Amandoll makes plans to be more productive: talks about making a SMART plan to build an empire
  • Everyone tries to go to bed early but falls asleep much later than usual

ahoo

 

Wednesday

Wednesdays are mostly defined as the one day a week when Amandoll’s parents come over to work on a home maintenance project.

  • Awake at 10AM
  • Amandoll’s parents come over bringing food
  • Because it is 110F, we have slowed down on the amount of home maintenance projects that we do so we talk about how they would like to fix the house up beginning first with “install central air conditioning”
  • One of the parents points out that strong storms are coming this evening
  • “The grass is looking healthy” is parent code for “you should mow your lawn every two days like maniacs”
  • We remember that we have a site and make something for it eventually, after minimal talk
  • Dollissa announces she is going to catch up on some work, falls asleep
  • Amandoll syncs another viewing of Sightings with cchris because we both have work to do
  • The storms cause the basement to flood
  • Bat downstairs!

cutie

 

Thursday

  • Dollissa remembers she started watching one single show that updates weekly on Wednesdays and didn’t conclude 20 years ago
  • Dollissa also remembers that she meant to write an article for yesterday and plans to make it for next week instead: RESULTS PENDING
  • Amandoll listlessly works on drying out the basement
  • Dollissa asks Amandoll what the weather is like, from the floor above — we are experiencing a cold snap: only 93F today
  • We joke about needing jackets and then weep
  • “More storms on the way”
  • Plans are made to walk three blocks to the grocery store because there isn’t any food in the upstairs kitchen
  • Amandoll remembers that she probably was supposed to make a comic of something for Sneer Campaign and jams one out in ten or twenty minutes
  • We consider applying for a license to be an official bat sanctuary, look into the paperwork and restrictions because we aren’t even kidding
  • Terrifying storms blow through and everywhere floods EXCEPT the basement for some reason
  • Decide to put off grocery shopping again
oof

 

Friday

  • Unexpected storm overnight caused minimal basement flooding; Amandoll combats the smell of mud
  • “God, it’s still a weekday?” We look through our drafts to find something we can finish the fastest
  • Dollissa abruptly leaves and messages Amandoll from the store that she has taco ingredients
  • We look from our windows and think silently about how many cucumbers and tomatoes there are, and also weeds
  • Inside the house, it is 98.6F and we can’t tell where our skin ends and the atmosphere begins
  • This time, a dead bat is found in a baffling place, like a inside of a drawer or a box
  • We cook a meal together and it becomes so hot and humid that we eat very little of it
  • Two hours later: food left out seems to already be spoiled. Is there a lesson we should be learning? Who cares!

bluhhh

 

Saturday

Another lazy day of not needing to generate content!

  • Manny walks in through the front door and we wonder how long he has been gone
  • Isolated mental breakdowns that we might or might not mention to the others later
  • Where’s the bat? There’s gotta be one somewhere
  • Dollissa works, forgets to eat until dinner.
  • Time is spent trying to convince someone from out of state or country to visit. We don’t mention that it is 1000F or that we are in poor mental health conditions
  • Endure lectures about getting rabies vaccinations
  • We go to the yard for a second, get fifty mosquito bites
  • Remember to put the compost into the bin, scream at how many ants are nesting in there
  • Oh, there’s the bat. Open all the windows, sequester the cats
  • Amandoll wistfully remembers when she used to fall asleep early on Saturdays. Now she only ever has insomnia
  • Everyone: privately thinks about how happy they are to be here. We just don’t talk about it because more open mouths means adding heat and humidity to the surrounding air

sweating and swearing

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