Hold up, everyone. We’ve got a brand new celebrity on the scene! We are excited and very pleased to announce that finally, FINALLY, we can brag that we knew a superstar before they were known. Finally, someone we know has risen from rags to riches (eventually riches, we assume). From the streets, abandoned, from NOTHING, this lady has become the toast of New York City, probably. Laika has made it.
It’s that time of year again, of course, as you’ve seen in candy aisles, pop-up costume shops, and our double-week of Halloween content. Once again it’s time to think of new ideas for Halloween. New costume, new decorations, new scary movies, new parties, and new pumpkin carvings. Let us help you out with the last one so that you can focus on the rest.
Like your costume, your jack-o-lantern should be hip, modern, and a little bit sassy. And since you want it to be unique too, here are the ideas that we don’t want to use.
As you probably knew, we love wordgames and we love apps. We love competing with friends, but we love competing with ourselves, too. We love playing games that seem like they could be building our brain muscles somehow. Well. We love WordScapes.
There are about ?00 levels but it seems like there are tens of thousands of them. It’s a relaxing game with no losing and no using up energy. You play however long you want as long as you can complete the board. It surprised me when I started that I didn’t have a limited amount of times to play per day or per time period. I kept going and going and going. I’m still going to this very day. No matter how far in the future you may be reading this from time of publication.
As seen on YouTube, you can seemingly train any animal to do anything. Sort of. At least the animals on YouTube appear to do adorable things on purpose. I don’t know if that’s necessarily training.
I have previously written about training my furry friends in this post, but that was not enough animals.
I talk about my sister often on Sneer Campaign. She’s pretty great! And if you memorize every word we say, you’ll remember that she’s a veterinarian and has two beautiful, big-headed, cuddly pit bulls. If you didn’t know, pit bull is pretty much an umbrella term, often also referred to as “bully breeds” and carries a lot of weight with it. (The weight is mostly in their giant silly heads.)
Tembo and Laika are two of the best dogs that anyone could hope for. Both were rescued and adopted into my sister’s loving, happy home. They’re as close as my sister and I were as kids. We still are, but maybe not as adorably.
The 90’s decade was a glamorous year for any of us in the teenage bracket. Sure, Seventeen Magazine had “new clothes” that you should buy in order to be popular, but truthfully they were just expensive new versions of the attire the rest of us found in thrift stores, the closets or floors of friends and friends’ family, or, occasionally, pretty much just in the actual street.
I was a Girl Scout when I was younger. In some ways, I’ll always be one! In other ways, why isn’t everyone? I still have my old Girl Scout badges, though I wouldn’t wear that vest around (it wouldn’t fit, mostly). I also still have my old book of how to earn each badge and sign. In the book it explains that the badges are also called recognitions, so when someone sees your badge, they recognize your accomplishments. As the book says, “Badges… show that you have done something so often and so well that you can teach it to someone.”
This week is Girl Scout Week. It falls the week of March 12, the anniversary of when Juliette Gordon Low held her first troop meeting. In honor of that, I propose we earn some Scouting for Women badges.
Ordinarily it is a fact that you “get what you pay for” − but not on the Sneer Campaign! We do love to give you quality art that is guaranteed to work, however it’s supposed to work. Usually it is a coloring page, but today you get some nice cards to print out at your leisure. The only thing it will cost you is in printer ink. Or possibly in an entire printer because they have been making it so that it is cheaper to buy a new printer than to buy an ink cartridge. Save those angry letters for the printer manufacturers! We are here to earn you some affection and, dare we say it? Truluv.
Actually we will cater to the millennials who are banding together to kill the printer industry, and allow you to just do the ol’ right-click and copy image url, or save the image, if you want, AS WELL AS an option to print out a paper card which you can then write inside of. We will even give you some possible sentiments to scrawl inside of them with your lunatic writing. This is how much we care about you and romance.
My first memory of befriending an outdoor cat was a long time ago, but I’m not sure how old I was. Age twelve maybe? This was probably the only one in this story that was likely someone’s cat, just living outside. It was Florida and we were moving into a new house. I think we met a realtor at one house, in some sort of gated community. There was a cat outside and I wanted to touch it, so I tried to make friends with it.
The cat seemed friendly enough, it walked toward me and we seemed pretty okay with each other. After some calm and successful petting, I made a mistake I have not repeated to this day. I picked her up.
I have a lot of reasons or excuses for why I picked her up. She was being friendly and calm. She may have been a pet. I wanted to. But those reasons did not prevent the torso-length scratch from the cat trying to escape over the back of my body after hearing a loud noise. Somehow she ran up the front of me and down my back.
It stung a whole lot, of course. If you have never been scratched by a cat, imagine a paper cut that someone pissed in. But I forgive you, cat whose permission I did not have to lift and hold tightly against my body like a newborn baby or a taco box. Scratches heal.
Once upon a time, I had a dollhouse. It was large and beautiful, made of wood with intricate features. There were no inhabitants, because they would distract from the house. Details were painted in white and bolder wood-brown. Furniture was smartly arranged and matching each room.
Oh wait, that was a daydream. A very expensive daydream that I hope comes true.