We know you love to color, and you know we love to make delightful drawings of ourselves in our ideal lives, living together, as a group of actual friends. In the same place. Ideally, that place is sometime in the 1920s but only for purely aesthetic reasons. According to illustrations of that era, everyone was abnormally thin and lithe. They didn’t walk, they slithered. And that’s how we are too, on some level.
One thing is absolutely certain: we have an extremely long, and storied history. Earth has been around a really long time, and humans have been around for just a sliver of that time but so much has happened! Thankfully, God gave birth to historians, so every nook and cranny of historical happenings are being examined and researched and thoroughly covered in books and in papers.
On TV, we can settle in for some learnin’ from the History Channel, NatGeo, the Smithsonian, and now even hulu and netflix offer some of these fascinating and well-edited glimpses of our shared past. Everything from why the key nations were catapulted into its second world war to individual battles of WWII, no stone is left unturned while investigating about five thousand years of recorded human history.
Hello, I’m Amandoll and today we’re here to honor the world’s favorite miscellaneous underappreciated humor site on the internet, the one you are on right now: the Sneer Campaign. Maybe you’ll see long lost footage, never before seen material unless you follow us on Facebook, and references to your favorite articles. I really don’t know how this is going to turn out because who plans what they’re going to say? Apparently not me! So strap on your safety belts, readers, so that your pants don’t fly off with all of the excitement!
Sneer Campaign began as a brainchild of Dollissa and me, with reluctant support from cchris. We have told this story before, and probably a lot of what I’m about to say in the rest of this article, but sadly I don’t have all 499 other articles posted at this time memorized. This is a clip show anyway, so you didn’t come here expecting all fresh material. BUT how did three people from different parts of the world meet in the first place, you ask? Why, through the magic of Fate and the Internet, of course!
In the unending quest to understand all of the mysteries of the world, we are perhaps not as tireless as other people out there. Our lives are more dedicated to the pursuit of sneering, and also laughing (both kindly laughs and laughs that are not so nice). So a lot of the time, if we find ourselves delving into mysteries… well, maybe we aren’t being as studious and serious as the nice people who get interviewed in TV Documentaries.
There are loads of documentaries and books and even a whole movie starring Richard Gere of all people about the Mothman. AlexT and I watched one of those documentaries the other day and decided to do a little investigating of this mystery on our own! We put on our investigation bonnets, slapped a mixed CD filled with summery music into a rental car, and took a road trip straight to the Mothman Museum located in Point Pleasant, WV! That’s really all we did. We took pictures.
The museum consists of a gift shop and a room of newspaper clippings, movie props, and costumes. But we learned all that we needed to know to become experts. We have solved the mystery of what this thing was that tormented the good folk of this town. But first, we will tell you what it is not.
I am a conversation addict. I have been chatting on the internet continuously since 1997 and sometimes I want to stop. Sometimes… But most of the time, I am so entertained that I never, ever want to stop. Not even to sleep! In an effort to make my horrible addiction seem productive and valuable, I sometimes turn snippets of my actual conversations into comics like the one here before you on this day. It makes me feel good and creative and clever and funny, even though mostly it is just showing that I can make simple drawings of my friends who are funnier than I am.
Click on the comic below in order to get a better view of the subtle nuance of our expressions. If you look at it in real size, you’ll feel like you are there! You can imagine the sounds of my arching eyebrows, the smell of AlexT’s wine-soaked words, feel the weight of that last little punchline.
Although I am a devout disciple of Mr. Rogers, the kindest, gentlest soul to grace the world with his presence in our lifetimes, I am only human. I am flawed. And I strive every day to not be 100% horrible. I really try to be only half horrible at most. I swear! I even read Mr. Rogers’ quotes every single day because I have a Daily Mr. Rogers’ Quotes Calendar! But on days when I am struggling, I have friends who help me. Or sometimes they encourage me to be awful. But on the day of this comic presented to you, AlexT was in a beatific mood and bestowed upon me (and all of you now too) magnanimous wisdom. Because he is nice.
Sometimes I think of this advice on my own, when I am alone in my struggle. Sometimes I even give this advice to other people, when I am at my best. And now you can print out this comic and hang it next to your mirror at home, and look at it every day as a reminder to be good.
Gambling, huh? It’s confusing and there are so many games. But I am here to help. As the descendant of the author of Playboy’s Book of Games, I feel that I have a special connection to this topic and therefore will be an expert without ever necessarily having played the games.
Because of that special connection I have created this handy guide for you!
They say “whatever happens in Vegas stays in Vegas,” but we don’t believe that at the Sneer Campaign! Maybe it is because we love to share our exciting antics with the whole world, or maybe it is because we have a severe lack of content for this week — it doesn’t matter! What matters is that what you see before you on this page is a hastily slapped together bunch of pictures we happened to take with other Sneerists and assorted friends and family. Imagine that this is basically like when your older relatives come back from vacation and have too many reels of slides for you to sit and look through on the projection screen. Also, imagine that the year is currently 1963.
Greetings. What you lucky fellows see before you is the first, best, and only bespoke Sneer Campaign cryptic crossword. It’s small, and near-perfectly formed, like a friendly armadillo.
For the uninitiated (which I will assume is most people – I’m told cryptics are a largely British preoccupation), here is a quick guide:
Cryptic crosswords are like regular crosswords, except generally more difficult, and definitely more insane-looking, to begin with at least. Unlike regular crosswords, the clues don’t give you a single word or phrase that you have to find an alternative meaning for. They give you a collection of words ordered in a seemingly baffling and incoherent way. Crucially though, one of the words (or phrases) in the clue is always still effectively a synonym for the answer. The rest is then some sort of wordplay that can lead you to the answer. Helpfully, you are not told which part is which. Tricks commonly found in cryptics include anagrams, acronyms, backwards words, letters being used as visual representations, hidden words, and other such skullduggery. For example, a clue to a four-letter word might read “bad rumblings conceal quality instrument,” to which the answer would be “drum.” Instrument is the synonym, conceals tells you something is probably hidden somewhere, and bad rumblings contains the word ‘drum’. See? Easy peasy when you know how. There are often themes within one crossword; sometimes they are helpful, sometimes they are not.
Print it out and enjoy!