As you probably knew, we love wordgames and we love apps. We love competing with friends, but we love competing with ourselves, too. We love playing games that seem like they could be building our brain muscles somehow. Well. We love WordScapes.

There are about ?00 levels but it seems like there are tens of thousands of them. It’s a relaxing game with no losing and no using up energy. You play however long you want as long as you can complete the board. It surprised me when I started that I didn’t have a limited amount of times to play per day or per time period. I kept going and going and going. I’m still going to this very day. No matter how far in the future you may be reading this from time of publication.

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This is the most tedious game that you want to play. Most games try to disguise the fact that they are the same thing over and over and are largely based on chance. They try to disguise the fact that you earn points to level up so that you can earn more points. Or it at least takes longer for it to feel like a chore. Or to realize that you’re just playing a clicking game.

Pokemone Magikarp Jump

 

But not Pokémon Magikarp Jump! This one is barebones, totally obvious that it’s just a thing to pass the time. And it’s great. It’s finally Pokemon’s version of a clicking/tapping game and the mechanics are superbly mundane.

 

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Hello, I am an artist. Actually, that isn’t exactly true. I am a person who has artistic ability, and am skilled in illustration. I have never really felt like an “artist,” even though it is my sole source of income and is practically “”my career”” I guess. I don’t really relate to the term, though. I always say it like it is an absurd claim. I don’t think it is because I feel like an impostor. I generally feel confident that I can do an art, if commissioned to do so. But I never use art to express myself.

I think I have always thought an artist is supposed to create because they are compelled to do so. They will JUST DIE if they do not take what is broiling inside of them and release it onto a canvas or some clay thing, or whatever they are into, artistically. They have these emotions and then use something to portray the emotions to a receptive, sometimes critical audience. Meanwhile, I will like draw a series of frowny faces if I am sad, or if I am angry I draw a scribble mark. Whee!

I don’t really feel saddened by this. I don’t feel like I have a block that prevents me from expressing myself. Sure, I occasionally worry that it is because I am some sort of soulless ghoul that doesn’t feel, but then I remind myself that that is my whole life goal, and anyway I do have emotions! Way too many of them! I just weep in darkness, or confide in one of my few friends, that’s all. I have no need to make a picture to feel better. Or at least that’s what I always thought to be true. But then I joined an app thing called Miitomo.

miifoto

 

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sailor moon drops

Another day, another app addiction. We here at the sneer campaign are no stranger to the stupid appiction. After all, neko atsume got three whole articles written about it. We actually are constantly getting games, but the princess horse apps haven’t sucked us in quite like disco dancing bees, and the odd game where you collect items or dress a chicken haven’t been as important in our day to day as making geometric bears cuss with a word game. Really, there is very little rhyme or reason when it comes to which games addict us. We try to pay attention so that some day we can combine all of the best attributes and make our OWN game, somehow. If we ever learn a skill or make a friend who would like to make an app for us sometime.

One important element, for sure, is that it is a game that we can talk about. If only Dollissa likes it, but I am too busy to play, she seems to lose interest faster. If I start a game and she forgets to get it two days in a row, suddenly I am uninstalling it. Sorry, KleptoCats. But if we can share that bonding moment of being able to say, “I have a million things to do, but I have to play this game,” and the other answers with, “oooh good idea. Me2.” Well, that is a game with staying power.

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Haha “minutes.” Who am I kidding? I have only had this game for a few days and it feels like I have done little else. Like Alphabears before it, Disco Bees is my game of choice for idling away my time as tick tock this time will never come back to me. Unlike Alphabears, there is very little about this game that feels like a brain exercise, though, so I can’t pretend to feel good about it.

I was compelled to get this app because something that combined bees, the best of insects, with disco, the most hilarious of music, had to be good. And it IS good. Sort of. You just match bees and achieve goals and try to reach a three gold star rating because why not. They provide you with a soundtrack of an eternal disco-like song. Game play lasts until you run out of lives for a session, which might take a hundred hours to do. Several times already, I have stopped playing due to fatigue. I didn’t know apps let that happen. I thought they were all designed to make you want to pay real human money in order to play just a little while longer. I’m not sure if I am complaining with this observation, but it does unsettle me somewhat.

After the first ten minutes, by the way, you will become fatigued with its soundtrack, which is repetitive and bland. It is disco in the loosest sense of the word: its beats tepid and uninspired, its tune unremarkable. It is the sort of disco a saltine cracker might make if it was forced to do so while in a state of great ennui. This music is an insult to bees everywhere! I’m a kind soul, however, and have taken it upon myself to recommend some music to play loudly while Disco Bee-ing.

disco bees

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