Growing up in the South (as a PROUD SOUTHERNER) I was offered a variety of food and drink items on a regular basis. Most of these were good. We’re talking about your fried chicken, watermelon, grape soda, SOME BBQ, Cheerwine, and other assorted Southern delicacies. This was quite pleasing, as they were always being offered and seemingly readily abundant. There are however a few Southern staples that don’t please me. There are a few food and drink items that downright disgust me. The big problem is that those were just as readily available and were being offered to me just as often. But one item stood out above all others… and it was a beverage. In fact, I don’t think it even deserves to be called a beverage. It’s swill. The foulest swill. It haunted me throughout my childhood. One sip and I turned into Jim Carrey, my face contorting wildly, jaw jutting out further than my bone structure allowed. Much like Jim Carrey, this was no laughing matter.  

I was plagued my entire goddamn childhood by SWEET TEA!

childhood rage

 

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In the 1990s, I was in my impressionable teenage years. Well, impressionable-ish. I probably was no more impressionable then as I am now, but, much like now, then, I knew what I liked and what I despised. Regrettably, I must confess that I probably hated more things than I liked, much as I still do today, although I try to turn hates into “devastating indifference,” which might be worse in some cases. Back then, I liked the brand new Comedy Central, still in its infancy. And I downright loved Dr. Katz, Professional Therapist. And I deeply appreciated Dr. Katz’s sullen secretary, Laura.

laura

When she wasn’t being outright hostile to other people, her baseline character was forbidding, unwelcoming, and uninterested. Laura was reticent. That was her entire persona. I loved it then, and I still do now. Here is a small list of reasons she was a sort of role model for me, although not entirely because I didn’t really want to be a Terrible Person, but there is still this appeal.

 

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Here at Sneer Campaign we obviously love cats. They are featured many places, but mostly in our hearts. We have 3 each, because we are insane. We like them a lot! Love them. Mostly.

catpain

To introduce Cat Lady Week, we are starting with our furriest of friends. Our nicest companions. Our bff 4ever.

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Sometimes I watch old dumb videos on YouTube because I have no life. Literally. My life consists of getting up, going to work, coming home, and going to bed. Be it old commercials from the eighties, or terrible training videos from fast food restaurants, it continuously fascinates me to no end. There’s something about watching these old videos that genuinely brings me back to a time that, obviously, isn’t coming back. It relaxes and soothes in a way that few things can. And while I’m aware that living life with rose-tinted glasses can be dangerous, it’s usually always fun to put them on occasionally to see just how modern-day life has evolved and changed over the years. Also I’m pretty sure I once heard my history teacher tell me that learning from the past is just as important as living in the present, so there’s that whole thing to pull out of my ass when someone wants to question why I’m obviously insane.

Youtubes

Below you’ll find just a few of the YouTube channels and videos that I use to escape into at times. Sometimes to just relax, other times to actually learn from the past, or at least laugh at just how dumb everyone was back in the day.

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We know that dating is the worst. So is internet dating. Where do these people even come from? I tell myself that it’s not so strange. I tell myself that if I use internet dating, so do other regular people [editor’s note: haha – Amandoll]. I tell myself that it’s 2016 and I do everything on the internet. I tell myself that I’ve met plenty of people through The Online, including Amandoll, Hoffman, Daniel Haun, Alext, Grogberries, and Cheston. I tell myself that I’ve met plenty of dates on there and they went just fine.

But oh, the ones that didn’t…

Stranger Danger

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It’s a new year! New years call for resolutions, but what IS a resolution and how do you set them? How do you announce them? The preferred method, of course, is to hastily write an article for a website about it because you needed to set a resolution about writing content in advance yesterday, but yesterday’s gone and dead! We have to start now! NOW!

It is important to select realistic resolutions so that you don’t feel like a loser by mid-January. So often, we resolve to achieve goals that just aren’t attainable, once our character flaws come into play (and they always do). Understand your faults, and then, rather than actively try to change yourself, just change your attitude about what it is you want out of your new life this year. I think what I want is to strengthen my ability to outsource. I shall treat my life like a successful corporation. I will get so much done via other people! The dream comes true.

resolutions 2016

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