I am not even sure what the Australian stereotype is from the American viewpoint, exactly. They are farther away from us than outer space is, but they’re still here, somewhere on Earth. They have cavalier attitudes. Kinda leathery. I guess they are all rugged and outdoorsy? Especially our Australian writer, Saxon. So outdoorsy. And of course, everything in their land is trying to kill them, always, from every angle. They all survive, though, and some of them even become big name stars!

whoooo

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Anyone who knows anything about Marilyn Monroe is probably aware that she was insecure, tormented by fame, and battling addictions that were rooted in an unhappy childhood and an unhappy adulthood. A classic tale, was she, of the sorrows and stresses of the Hollywood Machine. If you didn’t know that, now you do. She probably had actual clinical depression, and mental illness is no laughing matter, but as I read through her various quotes the other day, I couldn’t help but notice that she said some pretty sad things! My heart went “boohoo” as I saw her pleas for help which I can only assume went ignored. She had to be the Blonde Bombshell when, had she been a pretty young thing any time after the 1980s, she could have been a goth-punk, a Suicide Girl, or a generic mall goth. Instead of quotes immortalized on imdb, her quotes could have been unseen on deadjournal, or carved into the skin of her own tummy and shown only to her myspace friends. Marilyn Monroe might have suffered so much because she felt out of place in every way, yearning for a subculture that didn’t exist, and then she was taken from the world far too young.

vampire goth

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While I am here in Las Vegas, I can’t help but have that ol’ Frank Sinatra on my mind. This was the known stomping ground of the legendary Rat Pack, and like them or love them or hate them or maybe don’t even know anything about them, they did exist.

frank sinatra

Whippersnappers, you have probably heard Frank Sinatra without even knowing it. Have you ever seen a little show called Married… with Children?? (probably not, if you already don’t know who Sinatra is). Well that’s his song as the theme song. Or that New York song about spreading the news. How about that one?

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Hedda Hopper was a true Sneer Queen. She was known primarily for her caustic wit and her outrageous hats, which would fit her nicely into our crew. Her gossip column was well-known, and vicious, but she also starred in well over 100 movies! She knew famous people and used it against them. She had feuds with other columnists and was even kicked in the butt by Spencer Tracy over some gossip!

She was so great that she even accepted a joke valentine of a skunk gracefully. Probably the only gossip columnist with a Hollywood Walk of Fame star, Hedda surely made a name for herself in the Golden Age of Hollywood.

hedda hopper

 

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This is Part 3 of our Marx Brothers for the Uninitiated series. In Part 1, we introduced the Marx Brothers and their personas, along with their first 5 feature films. In Part 2, we checked out their next four feature films.

If you read our site often, you may see frequent references to the Marx Brothers. If you have your life going on track and you’re a good person, then you know who they are. However, it has come to our attention that some people know who they are, but have never seen their movies! Even worse, some people just don’t know who they are.

So here, friends, is an introduction to the Brothers Marx (part 3). These intros will not tell you much about the movie specifics, because you need to watch them. These movies are not about plot or character, they are about The Marx Brothers.

Marx Brothers by Amanda Wood

 

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Another Presidents’ Day has come and will soon be gone, ladies and gentlemen, and I find myself feeling a little older and wiser because of it. Presidents’ Day is a blissful time of year, a glorious holiday that has retained its quiet dignity. Very little commercialism surrounds it. We are not inundated by P.D. cartoons, mascots, hassles, guilt. In fact, it is mostly ignored. Between Valentines Day and Chinese New Year, mid-February is an active time of planning and celebrating.

I think it is time for a change! Let’s remove focus from that pink and red heart-shaped atrocity known as Valentines Day – who needs it anyway – and begin celebrating Presidents’ Day the way it should be celebrated! I think that it being mostly known as yet another day when the lazy postal workers get to not deliver our precious mail, and one more day when mattress salesmen get to host a SALE SALE SALE, is a shame and a tragedy. There have been many great men among our list of 44 or so Presidents. And many not-that-great men, too.

Scientists tell me that Americans know only a handful of our president guys. George Washington and Abraham Lincoln are seen everywhere you look, and Jefferson, FDR, JFK, Ted Roosevelt, and some of the more recent presidents are also pretty famous, too. But what of the early 1800s? What did they have to offer? And the late 1800s, what about them? They had their characters and their scandals, but they go by largely unnoticed by Joe or Jane Anybody. Historians are the only people both good and brave enough to write books for other historians to read, books about these commanders-in-chief, so that they do not fade into obscurity. But I don’t want the historians to fight the good fight alone! I want to help them!

In the future, I will help create a world where Presidents’ Day is marked by parades, and themed parties where people dress up in costumes modeled after their favorite presidents. I will contribute with various desserts and appetizers which actually look like the presidents, or maybe will represent the snacks that they are recorded to have actually enjoyed. There will also be cards sent and given to each other. That is how I have helped this year. I have made a handful of cards highlighting the faces and one short quote from some of the lesser-loved presidents. These cards are drawn on MS Paint and would include the accompanying text on the backs, if MS Paint allowed there to be backs. In fact, these are more than simple greeting cards, these are modelled after collectible Wildlife Cards that you might have gotten as nerdy children who were interested in zoology. I couldn’t have been the only one!

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This is Part 2 of our Marx Brothers for the Uninitiated series. In the first part, we introduced the Marx Brothers and their personas, along with their first 5 feature films. You can read Part 1 here.

If you read our site often, you may see frequent references to the Marx Brothers. If you have your life going on track and you’re a good person, then you know who they are. However, it has come to our attention that some people know who they are, but have never seen their movies! Even worse, some people just don’t know who they are.

So here, friends, is an introduction to the Brothers Marx (part 2). These intros will not tell you much about the movie specifics, because you need to watch them. These movies are not about plot or character, they are about The Marx Brothers.

Marx Brothers by Amanda Wood

 

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The lesula was confirmed to exist by the scientific community as recently as 2012. It had been known by locals for many years, but even the entertainment industry has been acquainted with this old world monkey since 1988, when one unusually tall specimen began on the path of Hollywood stardom. The soulful eyes and elongated snout characteristic of this primate have given Adrien Brody’s true identity away, so he has begun to grow out his body fur and will proudly represent the lesula monkey folk from this point on. We have celebrated this historic moment with a portrait. With new films due out in 2016, it is indeed the Year of the Monkey.

 

Adrien Brody

Alan Alexander Milne was born in London in 1882. Now, he is a legend. Today would have been his birthday, so let’s celebrate!

We know there’s almost nothing worse than seeing an overweight woman in Pooh Bear sweatpants and a My Little Pony sweater bending over at the grocery store to load up with Miracle Whip, but that does not diminish the legacy of either Milne or Pooh. Cleanse your mind of the sentence you just read, and fill it with beautiful images of the gang down at Hundred Acre Wood, just chasing bees and counting clouds.

A. A. Milne and Winnie-the-Pooh by Amanda Wood

Grab your jar of hunny and join us as we review some of the interesting things about his life and his creations:

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Everyone in the world knows who the Marx Brothers are, and always will. It is one of the most comforting certainties that there are. However, it is likely that not everyone knows all of the character differences and subtle nuances of humor that each brings to the comedy table. Some people don’t even realize that they were really real life brothers! This is because Chico Marx was that good at performing a flawless Italian stereotype, and Harpo was good at being a terrorpuppet come to life. Groucho appeared to be so acerbic in his wit that it doesn’t seem possible that he could have any close family. And Zeppo must be lost, how did he get into those movies? Also their costumes were such that they all looked very different from one another. In real life, though, they pretty much looked identical with slight variations in age and height.

Caustic one-liners can never go out of style and pretending to be Italian apparently never will, either, for some reason. But Harpo’s rhyme and reason is already unclear in our modern age. In the early part of the 1900s, a psychotic clown was hilarious. Now, it can only be terrifying. Long ago, mute people were things to laugh at, and deranged men endlessly, relentlessly chasing women around was apparently only scary to that specific woman running for her life. Why is this? How has the world become so dour that these things now frighten us? Well, I have no answers for you at this time, but what I do have is a small selection of drawings explaining the decision to make his character one that does not ever speak a line. I hope you like cussin’!

Harpo

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