I’m a fairly tense person on even the calmest sorts of days. Ever since I was very small, I have fretted over so many inconsequential things. Several years ago, I began getting anxiety attacks (and one or two panic attacks, which I consider separate, worse things). Why is this? What is to blame? Could it be a complicated matter of brain chemicals malfunctioning? Or maybe it is a very simple matter. Is it the state of the world? Do I actually care that much? Is it too much coffee? No, I will never blame coffee for anything! Maybe it is just the act of living and aging and getting older and turning to dust oh god how is anyone ever able to relax?! Should I see a doctor? Probably, but I don’t have time for that! I’ll see the doctor AFTER I’M DEAD!!

Anyway, one day I was feeling pretty anxious and went to Chris for some sympathy. Ha ha, no, I was not that delusional. I only kid you. I simply happened to be speaking to him at the time, and he did that thing he does so well: make it clear that he was low-level annoyed that I was not entertaining enough because I was experiencing a rough day. BFFs.

Click the image to see me being ON EDGE up close and pixelatedly.

Who, I ask you!

Presented by Ringmasters Dollissa and Amandoll

Welcome!

The Sneer Carnival

Thrilling Rides:

House of Broken Mirrors and Dreams

Bouncy House of Cellulite and Shame

Mini Train Ride around Sneerland (Sassy Commentary included)

Swarm of Bees Ferris Wheel

 

Challenging Game Booths:

Chicken Ring Toss

Ball Throw & Daisy Bowl

Spin the Wheel of Insults

Test Your Inner Strength

 

Surprising Prizes:

Win a chicken! Press it to your mouth

Win a daisy! Press it to your mouth, too

Win a caricature! Hide it under your bed

 

Unique Performances:

Ventriloquist Demandoll with Dummy Canadian Chris

“No, YOU’re the dummy, and your dress is so 2001!”

Steven the Talking Horse

“I’m an anarchist.”

Smirk de Soleil: The Circus of Sneer

Sneer Clowns Leap, Tumble, and Swing Around the Big Top

Marilyn Monrotund

I’m sure no one here is a stranger to the popular internet image stream of Marilyn Monroe being depicted as a curvy ideal of Hollywood’s yesterdays. “Women used to have CURVES, Marilyn was a curvy curvy sex GODDESS, round and lush and built real like really real women are!” And it’s true. Marilyn Monroe did have curves! She was built that way. But if you really look at most of her pictures, she was actually really slender and healthy looking. I saw a picture of her measurements and she had a twenty three inch around waist! I saw this picture on the internet and it supported the beliefs I already held, so I didn’t bother verifying it, but clearly it must be true.

So, one day I was talking to Chris about this very interesting Marilyn Monroe information regarding how much she was a gentlelady of leisure and he went and Chrissed it all up. Then I Amandaed it up by turning it into a comic!

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