watch out

It seems like everyone goes through a phase of life where they hit that bottle hard, and Billy Holiday is no exception to this. He has some exceptional moments, however. Some peculiarities. For instance, he prefers to become inebriated by way of classic hobo wines. He’s a “Strawberry” Cisco man, for any of you keeping track. He also gets sloshed on what I feel are strange choices, such as brandy and “appletinis.” Who are you, Billy Holiday?

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gday

Our friend, NickW, returns to us on this day. I didn’t mention in the last comic featuring him that he is an Australian. That is a very important thing to remember as you read this. Although, I guess it is pretty obvious because I keep mentioning it throughout our chat. Anyway, one of my favorite things (on certain days — other days I am tired and I get aggravated) is to explore the differences in our English language. There are a lot of dumb, needless differences! It is amazing that we can communicate at all.

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As I grapple with all seven stages of grief at the same time, rapidly cycling, alone and in bizarre combinations, over the death of AOL Instant Messenger today, December 15th, 2017 — a very dark day, I figured that I should try to get a taste of “Reconstruction and Working Through” (stage six) by celebrating that I have had good times there. I am doing this by putting up a comic, by acknowledging International Tea Day, and by crafting unwieldy, ugly sentences. Please pardon me. I am GRIEVING.

boo hoo

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I recently had an article about the benefits of procrastination. Aside from being probably the best article I have ever crafted, it is filled with great notions. It’s seriously long, so I imagine lots of you couldn’t make it through the whole thing, with your post-Mtv buzzfeed listicle brains, so I will give you a little summary: I humorously described how to still be productive while feeling guilty that you weren’t producing what you meant to be at that exact moment.

it me

I still agree with that fully, but today there is a difference. When I had written that, I was still filled with the spirit of not-quite-efficiency. I had “up and at whatever” “can do some things” “go get ’em, someone, maybe, you tiger-shaped stuffed toy” spirit. Today, however, I am just a blob. This is not a depression. It’s just pure laziness. And I think that’s okay. I have believed the horrible things people think about laziness, too. But now, here, in the middle of a good powerful laze, I realize that I may have been being too hasty in my judgment.

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masks

When two friends hold a casual conversation, sometimes it turns into an unexpected confession. Sometimes, it is revealed that one or both of the conversationalists are terrible people, on the inside. In this real life chat that really did happen, cchris seems like he is maybe worried, or at least taking mental notes for some purpose or another, but I’m sure I was just saying what he had already thought for himself before. I’m CERTAIN.

Please, enjoy this comic. And please, don’t run away from me.

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