Bodies: We all have them. But what do we KNOW about them? Science suggests that maybe we should know more, whereas religion demands that we know far less. We always side with science here on the sneer campaign, unless it challenges our strict moral codes (haha we don’t have moral codes. C’mon). So clasp our hand parts as we drag you down the twisted, prickly path of learnin’ and we will explain to you the things that school should have covered a long, long time ago. Or, perhaps more accurately, I will expose my horrific ignorance as I tell you about things I never thought about before that it turns out everyone has indeed known since middle school.

huh?

 

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Sure hope you took advantage of the great energy coming from that Super Blue Blood Moon on January 31st! If you did, it will certainly help set the stage for February because we won’t have a Full Moon at all this month. On the 10th, Venus will cozy up to Pisces and we will be less likely to look outside of ourselves and instead focus on spiritual pursuits. Expect that sorta thing till March 6th. We will have a New Moon in Aquarius on the 15th. This would be a lovely time to usher in new projects that are a bit outside the box.

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The Temperance card is coming in for many signs, so I’m feeling the theme is finding our place in the world and how we can best work with and alongside others. With cooperation we can create great things! Also, you may find that you are attracting people into your sphere that charge you up and fluster you a bit at the same time. You can’t quite define it, but you definitely dig it!

As always, consider your Moon and Rising sign in addition to your Sun. What comes through for each sign is general. If you wish to have a more personalized reading, please hit my name in the sidebar which should take you to my Etsy shop or message me on my FB page Tarot By Tonyana.

Now for a look into February….

 

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So text adventures are all the rage! Okay, maybe not all the rage but we love them here at Sneer Campaign. If you don’t know what these even are, it’s like a Choose Your Own Adventure on a computer. Our friend Veeder has made some very excellent games. He’s a powerhouse of adorable and hilarious stories.  He even has one that’s made to show you how to play these sorts of games!

We’ve started to make two different ones for our hundreds of fans to get into, but we didn’t finish them because boy are they hard to complete. It requires some creative plot-twisting, know-how, and moxie. We have the moxie, at least.

plz

 

We have been pooling our ideas and do hope to follow through at some point and make a Sneer text adventure for all you people. One where you can choose what sort of adventure we get up to, running from dragons or solving a mystery, investigating cold case murders that aren’t so col after all, or even exploring ancient ruins. Will we be in outer space? Will we be time traveling? The choice will be yours!

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You know how when you’re bored, you spend your time browsing Kickstart projects, PetFinder cuties, and terrible pop culture products on Etsy? Well here is a new spiral to focus on while you drag yourself further and further from reality. Further from reality and closer to realty!

yessss

Sure you can check for apartments and houses you’ll never buy on Zillow or whatever local real estate company, but while we’re dreaming, let’s go big or go home, as they say. We’ve of course told you about our plans for a deli or multiple delis. Here are our new plans as of however recently we found these great listings that we want very much. Each will have a cat wandering around, we have a lot of cats to place. This plan actually all started because we were talking about how shop cats are great, and that we have too many cats, and then how if we had a store (or stores) we could technically have more cats. This then immediately led us to planning for businesses we will start and then plant our friends there so that they may grow as vast and robust as our fortunes definitely will.

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Get ready to hit that reset button, Baby New Year! New Year, New You! Right from the get go, on the evening of the 1st, there’s a Full Moon in Cancer. Resolve an issue concerning women, motherhood, or family issues. The 9th seems like a particularly powerful day, but there is a warning not to get too cocky because pride comes before a fall. Also, around this time, there may be a temptation to take something to the next level to make your point very clear, but getting rowdy really isn’t necessary. Take extra care not to go overboard with food, drink, or anything really. Moderation is key. Remember that Aesop fable about the tortoise and the hare? Have some patience and you WILL get there. There may be a pull to get all emotional, but it would be wise to stick to the facts. If you are too close to something to be rational, you may need some insight from an unbiased source.

hooray

A new wave of energy is ushered in on the work front during the New Moon on January 17. With Mars going into Sagittarius towards the end of the month, we may find ourselves getting heated and frustrated prematurely. Wait till you know all the details before blowing your top. And then there is ANOTHER Full Moon, this time in Leo which will highlight your creativity and just how much of it you are willing to share with the rest of the world.

 

The 7 of Wands is coming in for most signs. I get the feeling that it is indicative of boundary disputes and people trying to roll up on the scene and change what you have grown accustomed to. Just remember that “no” is a complete sentence. Sometimes though, change can be much needed, albeit uncomfortable.

As always, consider your Moon and Rising sign in addition to your Sun. What comes through for each sign is general. If you wish to have a more personalized reading, please hit my name in the sidebar which should take you to my Etsy shop or message me on my FB page Tarot By Tonyana. Now let’s get to the deetz about January!

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Get ready for some crazy zany holiday antics happening this December! The Full Moon in Gemini on the third is urging us to speak the truth about something we have been talking from both sides of our mouths about for some time now, but on that same day Mercury (planet of communication) goes retrograde and urges us to keep a lid on it because someone will without a doubt be offended somehow. The best way to deal with these conflicting energies is to live by the Golden Rule and pick your battles carefully. That’s what I’m going to do! That Mercury Retrograde goes from the 3rd to the 22nd so tread lightly through that time and let us not forget a great rule of thumb is to consider ten days before and after a retrograde. Dang! You still have to live your life. So knowledge is key in order to work with the cosmic flow so you don’t find yourself discouraged from getting knocked down by it. Have back up plans. Mercury Retrogrades can be a beautiful time for reunions and catching and making up with others that we were on the outs with for a bit. On the 18th there is a New moon in Sagittarius, which is a great time to have some light-hearted fun with new friends who just wanna laugh and cut up a bit.

december 2017

King of Cups is coming in for most signs. This makes me think that maybe we need to be especially sensitive with how we are speaking and walking our Truths. Not that one should extinguish their personalities so others are more comfortable and tolerant, but more so that we are civil and compassionate of others stories as well. It would be wise to be especially vigilant during emotionally charged discussions.

As always, consider your Moon and Rising sign in addition to your Sun. What comes through for each sign is general. If you wish to have a more personalized reading, please hit my name in the sidebar which should take you to my Etsy shop or message me on my FB page Tarot By Tonyana.

Let’s hop into the December Scopes!

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We are a-movin’ and a-groovin’ at the Sneer Campaign Official Headquarters. A-hustlin’ and a-bustlin’, too. As many of you know, Sneer HQ was obtained last year after an exhaustive search for the perfect place to establish ourselves, our empire, in order to create a better future — for us, for Covington, KY, and ultimately for the whole world. However, for various reasons, Dollissa had to stay in New Jersey for a while. Well, now she’s here! Sneer House is now a Sneer Home.

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norma

Have you ever watched Sunset Boulevard starring William Holden, Erich von Stroheim, and the unconquerable Gloria Swanson? If not, I won’t mind if you open Netflix or find some other method to stop everything you’re doing just to watch it right now. I can wait.

As you (now) know, this film is a masterpiece of cinema which laid bare the cruelty of these things: aging, celebrity, Hollywood, youth, pride, vanity, EVERY ASPECT OF LIFE, and probably some other stuff. I’m not writing a thoughtful essay here! It did nothing to fix any of it, as far as I know, but it is interesting to see how the old silent stars were thought of and treated in the 1950s. I imagine that the cycle continues and the young talent of today considers the actors and actresses of the 80s and 90s to be weird old fossils from another time. I assume that the fate of Norma Desmond is what every actress fears for her future — or maybe kind of wants it, who am I to say?

None of us will ever be as rich as she was, or as influential in any industry, that is a certainty. I have made a little maze so that we can pretend to know what it’s like. From the comfort of your ostentatious manor, embark upon the wobbly journey to your great return. You will encounter all kinds of obstacles from nostalgic reveries to suicide attempts to homicide, but if you can keep your focus, you’ll be in the pictures again. You’ll get the attention you deserve, you icon. You legend.

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How was your October? Well, as busy as it was, get ready for November, baby! Get ready for hectic holiday shopping, traffic, and chugging echinacea tea in hopes of warding off colds. I suppose there are many who live for this time of year. Good for you!

whooo

I get an intense feeling about the first week, like it will usher in a bunch of changes for people that will force them to come to a final decision so they can move forward. On the 4th there is a Full Moon in Taurus. It is a great day to decide once and for all to do away with behaviors that threaten your stability. On the 7th, Venus will enter Scorpio so be prepared for all or nothing relationships, but also being drawn to certain types without understanding why exactly. Stay aware of this energy because it sticks around till December. The 11th will give you an opportunity to correct any problems in a very resourceful way. New Moon is in Scorpio on November 18th. Allow some time to connect with Spirit because alone time is going to get scarce from here on out, until like after the New Year. Please be open to seeing the hidden gems in what appears to be difficulties. The 10 of Cups is coming in for lots of signs, which makes me think that many of us will have wishes granted finally!

As always, consider your Moon and Rising sign in addition to your Sun. What comes through for each sign is general. If you wish to have a more personalized reading, please hit my name in the sidebar which should take you to my Etsy shop or message me on my FB page Tarot By Tonyana. Let’s get to those November scopes!

 

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November is casually referred to as “NaNoWriMo,” but it and I aren’t close pals, so I’d like to treat it a little more formally — please forgive me. November is also known as “Movember” because some men choose to grow a mustache in order to raise awareness of some men’s health issue and they think that growing unsightly facial hair is better than just educating people with frank discussion, but the novel writing is a better use for a month. Gentlemen, may I suggest that you wake up daily and begin with a shave, and then write your novel about the men’s health issue? I don’t think I even know what the health issue is because I avoid going places where I might see a mustache.

National Novel Writing Month.

This has been going on for years and years, for as long as I can remember on the internet. However, I have never been interested in giving it a try. “What could I possibly write about that could be engaging?” I always wondered. I write nine hundred million words for Sneer Campaign every year in the form of these well-composed articles, but those aren’t NOVELS. Novels are more serious. Novels are respectable. I mean, aside from all of those self-published novels that flood Amazon’s e-shelves. Those weird novels that seem to have been written in a week and never proofread. But I would want to do better than that! Wouldn’t I?

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