get em tiger

We are all of us adults here on this site, writers and readers, well-wishers and detractors. This naturally means that we are all well-acquainted with that sluggish beast known as Procrastination. Society views Procrastination as a blight, a rotten spot on anyone’s character. Procrastination is a heavy shame and people want it stamped out. But this is a new day, a new era. Like other old prejudices, the irrational hatred for slacking around still lurks around, but we can’t really be surprised by it. I mean, after all, old-fashioned race-ism still lingers around and that malarkey is so outdated, I mean really. 

But I am here to explain how all the haters are hating a painful misconception! AS USUAL.

That’s right. Anyone can make procrastination WORK. You can still be productive while procrastinating, you just need to open your mind and get over the fact that you might not be succeeding in producing the finished product you might have NEEDED to finish. But I think maybe we should reconsider this current lifestyle of “deadlines” and “you have to complete this specific thing I paid you to complete.” It’s all so narrow-minded, and I can’t support that foolish mindset. This is not an article about what I do and do not support though. Oh wait, yes it is. Because:

 

I Support Making Procrastination Work for YOU 

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It’s ANY DAY OF THE WEEK and without a doubt every single person who might ever read this DEFINITELY needs to get fit, fast! Faster! Any minute of the day is the right time to inform you that you are blubbery and unsightly and obviously need to start exercising because, honey, that portion control diet that relies on self-control just AIN’T workin’ for you. At least, this is what I have gleaned from watching any television, seeing any magazine, or overhearing anyone trying to make money at the expense of the insecurities of others. And who isn’t, amirite? 

Well let me tell you that THIS article CAN’T fail. It’s my very own method towards a better me, and friends, if I use it, then it HAS to be good. It is also probably based on science because I am wearing a lab coat as I write this. And my name tag says “Dr. Amandoll, nutritionology fitness expert.” It’s not like I do anything else but sit around and THINK all the time, right? So I clearly have all the answers. I think that’s all it takes to make me Qualified, right? Right? Well, if you believe it, it’s good enough for me, and let’s never bring the Courts into it.

exercise

 

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Marilyn Monrotund

I’m sure no one here is a stranger to the popular internet image stream of Marilyn Monroe being depicted as a curvy ideal of Hollywood’s yesterdays. “Women used to have CURVES, Marilyn was a curvy curvy sex GODDESS, round and lush and built real like really real women are!” And it’s true. Marilyn Monroe did have curves! She was built that way. But if you really look at most of her pictures, she was actually really slender and healthy looking. I saw a picture of her measurements and she had a twenty three inch around waist! I saw this picture on the internet and it supported the beliefs I already held, so I didn’t bother verifying it, but clearly it must be true.

So, one day I was talking to Chris about this very interesting Marilyn Monroe information regarding how much she was a gentlelady of leisure and he went and Chrissed it all up. Then I Amandaed it up by turning it into a comic!

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