As funny as death is, it also has a serious side. It isn’t ONLY fun and games; you owe it to yourself and others to plan for it and treat it as the solemn event that it deserves. I can think of nothing worse than to find out that you do leave a ghost, and that ghost is embarrassed by a lackluster death and shortly-after events. Eternal damnation has many faces.

Many questions arise when one is faced with the great beyond. Where will I be buried? Will my no-good wife and ingrate children have enough money to squander on shit? Will I die while masturbating? As an expert, I will provide you with a few responsible steps to consider when preparing for death.

dr deathtopus

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So how was your September? Mine was a whirlwind of mostly great things, and a girl can get used to this! This month the Full Moon is in Aries on the 5th. Remember that full moons are about things coming full circle and a great time to release and get some closure. So write a letter to someone you have an issue with, get those feelings on paper, and maybe burn it (safely) instead of opening old wounds further. Jupiter is going into Scorpio on the 10th. This will help many of us get a grip on our finances and how we can generate more income. There’s a New Moon on October 19th so maybe put those rose quartz crystals out there and attract some healthy love into your life. Neptune has been retrograde since June and will continue to be until November 22. Many of us have been delving deeper into mystical realms and exploring things that aren’t easily explained. The 4 of Cups upright is coming in for most signs. Makes me feel like there will be opportunities for growth if we dare to accept the challenge.

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As always, consider your Moon and Rising sign in addition to your Sun. What comes through for each sign is general. If you wish to have a more personalized reading, please hit my name in the sidebar which should take you to my Etsy shop or message me on my FB page Tarot By Tonyana.

Now, on with the October Tarotscopes!

 

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The International Co-operative Corporation for Corporate Cash Enbiggenment (ICCCCE) today announced a new initiative described as a “beautification and cultural enhancement project, which would have poor people phased out of existence by 2025.

In a press conference earlier today, ICCCCE Chairman Rich Dubloon said that he’d first noticed the issue when dropping his children off to play with some economically disadvantaged friends they had met during a cultural exchange at their prestigious private school.

“I bought the school immediately, don’t you know. Put a stop to that rot!” said Dubloon. “Now you might call me a right old fashioned sort but I didn’t realise these sorts of scallywags exist, you see! I’d seen them in pictures and at the talkies but damned if I didn’t think they weren’t make-pretend! A contrivance, you see!”

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My word, it’s March! There’s an old saying about March coming in like a lion and going out like a lamb. Looks like there’s some truth to it. At least that is what these Tarotscopes say, which are mostly Tarot readings with just a dash of astrological happenings taken into account. The first week, most of us will be dealing with tons of unpredictability, especially in areas of romance. Then around the 12th, Mercury and Saturn will be squaring off so that’s always plenty of challenges regarding communications. At the same time, there will be a Full Moon in Virgo, so there’s an opportunity to let go of some of the stress that may cause some health issues if you don’t release. When we hold onto negative experiences we leave ourselves vulnerable to bugs that are going around, etc. Old insecurities and issues creep in the next week.

By the time of the New Moon (on the 27th), we will be able to learn from March’s tough love kind of lessons and be wiser because of it. We can start looking towards the Spring and also catching a break or two. The World card is coming up for quite a few signs, so that really makes me think that many of you are really eager to use your talents to improve your environment.

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So as always, these are listed by Sun signs, but I personally find my Rising sign is more telling with these, while some say their Moon is where it’s at. These are general. If you would like to book a more personal reading please contact me and we can set something up. My rates are very affordable. Hit my name in the sidebar or here to go directly to my Etsy shop. You can find various options and deals for readings on there, but you can also contact me by messaging me at Tarot by Tonyana, my Facebook Page.

 

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Here it is, February 2017’s addition of the Tarotscopes. This month ought to be interesting… to say the least. I wanted to put some special emphasis on the first week because Mercury will be squaring Jupiter. That being said, many will be laying big plans and undergoing negotiations. About five seconds on any social media these days you will find there is many a heated debate. The first week can ruin perfectly good intentioned enterprises if we alienate others with arrogance. And that goes for everyone. Remember that what may seem painfully obvious to one may be a mystery to another. We mustn’t get caught up in thinking our way is superior to others’ approach. Plans will crumble if we do that. See the bigger picture instead of being attached to personal agendas and we should all come out smelling like a rose.

Anyways, there’s a Full Moon in Leo on the 10th (a Friday), which should prove wonderful for celebrating Valentine’s early. Leos are typically big spenders. The Moon is in Libra on actual Valentines Day (on Tuesday), so this year you may find more folks than usual doing something special for their main squeeze. If you don’t have that special someone and you would like to call something like that in, the New Moon (February 26) in dreamy Pisces may be the day to state your intentions. Also, the Two of Swords is popping up, so I’m getting the sense that we must draw in what we want as opposed to trying to force our wills.

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As always, these are mainly a result of very general Tarot readings I have separated by sign. I find it helpful to also look up my Rising and Moon sign in addition to my Sun, but hey, you do you. If you would like to book a more personal reading please contact me and we can set something up. My rates are very affordable. Hit my name in the sidebar or here to go directly to my Etsy shop. You can find various options and deals for readings on there, but you can also contact me by messaging me at Tarot by Tonyana, my Facebook Page.

 

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See ya later 2016! HELLOOOO 2017!! That Mercury Retrograde will still be keeping us on our toes until the 8th (maybe give it to the 15th for extra measure). So don’t let delays frustrate, just embrace them instead. On the 12th we have a wonderful Full Moon that will no doubt get everyone jazzed about getting out in the world where the action is. Expect a case of cabin fever.

There will be a New Moon on January and THIS will be what I consider the actual beginning of my 2017! A time to usher in new things and get on with it already. Yay!!! However, with the 8 of Swords coming through so often, it seems like it may not be so easy-peasy. As always, these are general Tarot readings with bits of astrological happening sprinkled in. I have categorized them according to your Sun sign, but look up your Moon and Rising to gain a broader perspective.

January TarotScopes by Tonyana and Sneer Campaign

If you would like to book a more personal reading please contact me and we can set something up. My rates are very affordable. Hit my name in the sidebar or here to go directly to my Etsy shop. You can find various options and deals for readings on there, but you can also contact me by messaging me at Tarot by Tonyana, my Facebook Page. Many Blessings!

 

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TarotScope time again, Sneersters! So get comfy. You are gonna want to read your Sun sign, of course and maybe your Moon and Rising for extra measure. While you are at it, maybe check out your friend’s too. They could use a heads up. These are general Tarot forecast categorized by each sign.

The Full Moon on the 13th asks you to consider all perspectives and let go of old beliefs that are no longer working. I’m just gonna come out with it… we have another Mercury Retrograde coming up on December 20 until January 8. So, it’s best to cool your jets on big decisions during that time period, for sure. I honestly am a bit leery 10 days before and after too. What it IS great for, is research and organizing… oh and naps. Bring on the naps!

December TarotScopes by Tonyana

Please remember, these are very general. If you would like to book a personal reading with me, please like and message me on my FB business page Tarot By Tonyana or hit my name in the sidebar which will take you directly to my Etsy shop. Alrighty, let’s get this party started!

 

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It’s Tarotscope time again! Make yourself a piping hot mug of 50 shades of Earl Grey Tea and indulge in a bit of reading about what to expect for the month ahead. Basically, I do a general reading for each sign of the zodiac. Feel free to check your Rising and Moon along with your Sun. I do take into account some astrological happenings, but my love really is for those cards.

With Uranus Retrograde (which I quite enjoy) since late July till late December, we can expect to find out some pretty shocking things and have very defining moments in our lives. Of course, we have that Super Moon in Taurus on the 14th, so basically live by that whole Golden Rule. Also, it is wise advice to follow people’s lead as far as their methods of reaching out to you. New Moon in Sagittarius on the 29th, keep it light and fun…good times. I’m seeing a theme of the Page of Wands coming up in reverse for a lot of signs, which makes me think there is lots of misinformation going around.

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These are GENERAL, so if you want a more personal reading please contact me and we can set something up. Hit my name in the sidebar or here to go directly to my Etsy shop. You can find various options and deals for readings on there, but you can also contact me by messaging me at Tarot by Tonyana, my Facebook Page.

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These TarotScopes are a fusion of both Astrology and Tarot. So feel free to look up your Sun sign, but I find that my Rising sign is more on point. Some swear by their Moon.

October is going to be a real dynamo this year! On the 16th there is a Full Moon in Aries and a New Moon in Scorpio on the 30th, which will make Halloween Eve all the more spookier. The 11th ought to be pretty sexy considering Mars and Neptune are getting along so swimmingly. If you get your date in before 7ish PM EST, you ought to exude a certain special mystical aura that makes you especially attractive. On October 14th, Mars and Saturn work well together and give a stronger sense of responsibility. Others may inquire about your knowledge and skills. Then good ol’ Mars conjuncts Pluto on the 19th, which gives us tons of ambition, but we have to take care not to step on any toes in the process. I noticed that the 9 of Cups came up for quite a few signs, so that gives me the impression that a lot of people are quite pleased that some things are nearly completed so they can move on to something else they feel strongly about.

tarotscopes

These are GENERAL, so if you want a more personal reading please contact me and we can set something up. Hit my name in the sidebar or here to go directly to my Etsy shop. You can find various options and deals for readings on there, but you can also contact me by messaging me at Tarot by Tonyana, my Facebook Page.

 

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