Picture it, you’ve just moved into a beautiful new home in a safe and happy neighborhood with manicured lawns. You’ve unpacked all your essentials, changed your address, and turned on your utilities… now it’s time to make an impression. A big one. You want your new neighbors to know how charming, intelligent, and definitely innocent you are.


We’ve gathered a few ways that you can really make a name for yourself in your new town, while only raising a little bit of suspicion, instead of a lot. Say hello to your new neighbors in a way that violently screams, “I LIVE VERY CLOSE TO YOU NOW.” It’s a lot of work, but so is the social contract of a suburban neighborhood.


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I think that there are a lot of options of what to substitute a tree with for your holiday season. Or your classic Festivus pole. Trees are such a hassle. Any live tree will leave its pieces all over your home and inside your gifts somehow. A fake one will probably break sooner than you’ll hope.

So what things are the tree good for? Well, it’s nice to put all the gifts there, lovingly displayed with holiday cheer for all to see. It’s super fun to decorate trees with ornaments, whether they’re of your favorite pop culture characters or heirloom gifts passed down through your family. But these non-denominational substitutions should serve all your holiday needs!

xmas xmas


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