Get ready for some crazy zany holiday antics happening this December! The Full Moon in Gemini on the third is urging us to speak the truth about something we have been talking from both sides of our mouths about for some time now, but on that same day Mercury (planet of communication) goes retrograde and urges us to keep a lid on it because someone will without a doubt be offended somehow. The best way to deal with these conflicting energies is to live by the Golden Rule and pick your battles carefully. That’s what I’m going to do! That Mercury Retrograde goes from the 3rd to the 22nd so tread lightly through that time and let us not forget a great rule of thumb is to consider ten days before and after a retrograde. Dang! You still have to live your life. So knowledge is key in order to work with the cosmic flow so you don’t find yourself discouraged from getting knocked down by it. Have back up plans. Mercury Retrogrades can be a beautiful time for reunions and catching and making up with others that we were on the outs with for a bit. On the 18th there is a New moon in Sagittarius, which is a great time to have some light-hearted fun with new friends who just wanna laugh and cut up a bit.

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King of Cups is coming in for most signs. This makes me think that maybe we need to be especially sensitive with how we are speaking and walking our Truths. Not that one should extinguish their personalities so others are more comfortable and tolerant, but more so that we are civil and compassionate of others stories as well. It would be wise to be especially vigilant during emotionally charged discussions.

As always, consider your Moon and Rising sign in addition to your Sun. What comes through for each sign is general. If you wish to have a more personalized reading, please hit my name in the sidebar which should take you to my Etsy shop or message me on my FB page Tarot By Tonyana.

Let’s hop into the December Scopes!

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We all have our different methods for getting some writing done here at Sneer Campaign. I use a few different methods, myself. They all work pretty well, but not always. Sometimes I need an extra push, or just to switch it up a bit. Sometimes I need a whole new method, so one day this list will be longer. And sometimes nothing works, and we put up an old omgj content, thank goodness.

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If you’re looking to write a whole bunch of posts for your own site, or anything even remotely similar, I have some very specific-to-me-and-to-Sneer-Campaign tips just for you! So please enjoy this meta post, written because I had no other ideas one day.

 

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How was your October? Well, as busy as it was, get ready for November, baby! Get ready for hectic holiday shopping, traffic, and chugging echinacea tea in hopes of warding off colds. I suppose there are many who live for this time of year. Good for you!

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I get an intense feeling about the first week, like it will usher in a bunch of changes for people that will force them to come to a final decision so they can move forward. On the 4th there is a Full Moon in Taurus. It is a great day to decide once and for all to do away with behaviors that threaten your stability. On the 7th, Venus will enter Scorpio so be prepared for all or nothing relationships, but also being drawn to certain types without understanding why exactly. Stay aware of this energy because it sticks around till December. The 11th will give you an opportunity to correct any problems in a very resourceful way. New Moon is in Scorpio on November 18th. Allow some time to connect with Spirit because alone time is going to get scarce from here on out, until like after the New Year. Please be open to seeing the hidden gems in what appears to be difficulties. The 10 of Cups is coming in for lots of signs, which makes me think that many of us will have wishes granted finally!

As always, consider your Moon and Rising sign in addition to your Sun. What comes through for each sign is general. If you wish to have a more personalized reading, please hit my name in the sidebar which should take you to my Etsy shop or message me on my FB page Tarot By Tonyana. Let’s get to those November scopes!

 

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The human clown is a Halloween costume that take you a lot of miles down the road to Terror Town. Weak-minded people believe that clowns are, by their very nature, terrifying monsters and not actually just kindly people in grease paint or in rarer cases, serial killers. People who have clown phobia will be made uncomfortable no matter how sloppy your attempt is at applying the right make up, so it is a real winner at any costume party. It is a golden standard of nightmare fuel.

However, there has been a “craze” lately where people think that you have to make the clown scarier. Those fools standing on the sides of roads, frightening people by being clowns where clowns are not supposed to be, seem to always be wearing those latex masks of a “scary clown head.” In my very honest and correct opinion, the very attempt to make it scarier makes it LESS scary. Somehow, clowns are the one part of life where I am brave. I just know that if I ever see a person in a scary clown mask, I would want to slap that mask right off of their face and tell them to get a clue. And that’s about when I realized I also needed to write an article about it in order to keep printed copies to hand out in just such an occasion. Today is the day. This is the hour.

My theory goes that all you must do is simply be a clown. It will make people uncomfortable, but it’s a little boring. To bring things to a more expert level, you will want to combine the clown part with pretty much any other thing. But which kind of clown with what sort of thing? Well, there are three general types of clown, so you have plenty of choices!

me me me

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It’s that time of year again, of course, as you’ve seen in candy aisles, pop-up costume shops, and our double-week of Halloween content. Once again it’s time to think of new ideas for Halloween. New costume, new decorations, new scary movies, new parties, and new pumpkin carvings. Let us help you out with the last one so that you can focus on the rest.

Like your costume, your jack-o-lantern should be hip, modern, and a little bit sassy. And since you want it to be unique too, here are the ideas that we don’t want to use.

 

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With Halloween just around the corner, it’s the perfect time for watching good-natured, goofy, scary movies, and it is also the perfect time for reinventing yourself with a bold New Fall Look.

Might I suggest, for both of these things, 1987’s A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors.

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This movie is about a group of teenagers who have been committed to a psychiatric ward because they keep having nightmares about Freddy Kreuger, who is a kind of ghost, I suppose, who appears in your dreams and then tries to kill you. They must learn to work together to defeat Freddy, and they discover that when they are dreaming they each have special powers that relate to their personalities. They become the DREAM WARRIORS.

They also wear some nice outfits, which I think would look good on you.

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As funny as death is, it also has a serious side. It isn’t ONLY fun and games; you owe it to yourself and others to plan for it and treat it as the solemn event that it deserves. I can think of nothing worse than to find out that you do leave a ghost, and that ghost is embarrassed by a lackluster death and shortly-after events. Eternal damnation has many faces.

Many questions arise when one is faced with the great beyond. Where will I be buried? Will my no-good wife and ingrate children have enough money to squander on shit? Will I die while masturbating? As an expert, I will provide you with a few responsible steps to consider when preparing for death.

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Get to your nearest chair and proceed to sit so hard that you accordion your spine in on itself, because that’s what it’s probably gonna take to keep your pants from flying off after you learn that it’s fall festival season again! That’s right, it’s everyone’s favorite time to herd into the smallest towns imaginable by the thousands and then proceed to rip it to shreds like some sort of  cursed locust-people. All while buying up every single shitty piece of local art they can find, along with shoving their faces full of food so unhealthy that it should qualify as body torture. Get hype, son!

Now you may be saying to yourself, “But Jeremy, you already wrote an extensive, boring article on fall festivals years ago! In fact, Amandoll just re-posted it a few days ago! It’s right here! Why even bring this up again? Who really gives a shit?” Well, I definitely can’t argue with that last point, but I can confirm that I did write that article well over two decades ago, back when it was all the rage with my family to drag us around the state and partake in whatever festival they could find each weekend during the fall season. And believe it or not, it was something I actually enjoyed. But over the years since then I really haven’t been to many at all, and since I now have way too much free time and literally no friends whatsoever, I figure it’s high time that I return to those cursed festivals to see what I’ve been missing, and also add a few things that I sort of glossed over in the first article. So please, dear reader, take a trip with me to Greenfield, Indiana, for their “Riley Days” festival. Let’s see together just how bored you truly have to be to do shit like this.

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old man

It is already well documented that I am pretty much a giant fucking loser. And because of this, I seem to enjoy doing things that make most people laugh at me. We’ve already covered this in previous articles about yard sales, and virtually everything else I’ve written on this site. So it’s of no surprise when I say that I happen to enjoy going to fall festivals. After all, fall is my favorite time of the year, and it seems to be the only time when I can go out of the house and not be hospitalized from extreme sun exposure, or be treated for frostbite.

Fall has very mild weather that is perfect for the pasty nerd who is afraid to step outside in the heat for more than two minutes, in fear that they would instantly be blinded by natural sunlight and have their skin catch fire. But once we get outside, we usually find that there is little that we know how to do without a computer mouse in our hands. And even if we bring the computer mouse with us, it just doesn’t seem to have the same effect by clicking on things in the real world as it does on our computer. So to combat this strange new world of revulsion, we must find something else to do. Not only do we need to find somewhere that is generally low key and devoid of excitement that might lead to bodily harm, but also somewhere where we can buy incredibly useless crap for large sums of money. The only real answer that meets these criteria, is of course one of the millions of festivals that are being held during the fall. That’s right. Today we’re going to show you just how to navigate your way through a fall festival.

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So how was your September? Mine was a whirlwind of mostly great things, and a girl can get used to this! This month the Full Moon is in Aries on the 5th. Remember that full moons are about things coming full circle and a great time to release and get some closure. So write a letter to someone you have an issue with, get those feelings on paper, and maybe burn it (safely) instead of opening old wounds further. Jupiter is going into Scorpio on the 10th. This will help many of us get a grip on our finances and how we can generate more income. There’s a New Moon on October 19th so maybe put those rose quartz crystals out there and attract some healthy love into your life. Neptune has been retrograde since June and will continue to be until November 22. Many of us have been delving deeper into mystical realms and exploring things that aren’t easily explained. The 4 of Cups upright is coming in for most signs. Makes me feel like there will be opportunities for growth if we dare to accept the challenge.

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As always, consider your Moon and Rising sign in addition to your Sun. What comes through for each sign is general. If you wish to have a more personalized reading, please hit my name in the sidebar which should take you to my Etsy shop or message me on my FB page Tarot By Tonyana.

Now, on with the October Tarotscopes!

 

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