catz

Hello, I’m Amandoll and today we’re here to honor the world’s favorite miscellaneous underappreciated humor site on the internet, the one you are on right now: the Sneer Campaign. Maybe you’ll see long lost footage, never before seen material unless you follow us on Facebook, and references to your favorite articles. I really don’t know how this is going to turn out because who plans what they’re going to say? Apparently not me! So strap on your safety belts, readers, so that your pants don’t fly off with all of the excitement!

Sneer Campaign began as a brainchild of Dollissa and me, with reluctant support from cchris. We have told this story before, and probably a lot of what I’m about to say in the rest of this article, but sadly I don’t have all 499 other articles posted at this time memorized. This is a clip show anyway, so you didn’t come here expecting all fresh material. BUT how did three people from different parts of the world meet in the first place, you ask? Why, through the magic of Fate and the Internet, of course!

 

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We are not a religious bunch of people. We are barely even spiritual. I’d characterize us each as people who are interested in simply being good, maybe even beyond reproach. Maybe some of the Junior Sneerists just bump along, existing until inevitably dying and turning to dust. That is to say, this was all the case until we discovered some rubble that was once a temple. Within that rubble were complete sketches of how the temple once looked, and mostly-indecipherable texts describing the rituals and beliefs of the worshipers who once populated this place.

The temple may be a metaphor, but the religion is real: Sneerholicism

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Who’s that girl? That haughty broad who appears on anything I can incorporate her into, whenever I make anything for Sneer Campaign – who is she?? What makes her so special that she has basically become the symbol of Sneer Campaign, even though she isn’t one of us, and she isn’t even really sneering there. She’s clearly judging, or about to condescend in the coldest of ways. This silver screen wonder is Bette Davis and her Bette Face is our inspiration every day of the year.

 

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Here at Sneer we often have moments that are hard in life, like anyone else. But luckily we’re surrounded by THINGS. Things that we love and make us happy. Things that connect us to each other. Things we can eat. This song is incomplete, of course. Good, catchy songs should only last about three minutes, and to list all of our faves would surely make a song that lasted hours. Maybe I could have done that, but also it becomes tiring trying to think of how to rhyme Secretariat and include Mr Rogers and.. and golly we sure do like a lot of things!

Click if you want and bonus extra funtimes below the image: the words and allll the links because an unlisted favorite thing is to create link cities in our articles. We’re so grateful, things!

 

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In the future, September 7th, 2016, may be remembered as an important day for many different reasons. I don’t really keep up with current events, so I don’t know what those might be. But the one thing I do know for sure is that children for many decades will be taught to revere this day as the day that Dollissa finally bought a house, casually referred to as “Sneer House,” so that we may concentrate on being more productive and building an empire and all of that sort of thing.

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This just so happens to be around the one-and-a-half-year-versary of the site, too! How far we’ve come in just eighteen months. From sometimes managing to produce three pieces of content a week, to now where we usually do update thrice, and also are talking about bumping it up to five a week: we are on the up! And now, a physical location outside of the internet? Magic is real. Sentences are unwieldy.

We have made much reference to wanting a house. It’s not like any of us are living any sort of normal life, so we can follow our whims and write our own rules and if we want to form a little collection of friends, compatriots, and well-wishers who all live together sometimes, then why not? So after about a year of searching, being thwarted, making vision boards, writing informative guides on the subject, daydreaming, and searching some more, Destiny smiled upon us and now probably a lot of hard work begins because of the inherent challenges of “home ownership.”

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They say “whatever happens in Vegas stays in Vegas,” but we don’t believe that at the Sneer Campaign! Maybe it is because we love to share our exciting antics with the whole world, or maybe it is because we have a severe lack of content for this week — it doesn’t matter! What matters is that what you see before you on this page is a hastily slapped together bunch of pictures we happened to take with other Sneerists and assorted friends and family. Imagine that this is basically like when your older relatives come back from vacation and have too many reels of slides for you to sit and look through on the projection screen. Also, imagine that the year is currently 1963.

Amandollissa

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The Official Fan Club of Sneer Campaign is here: Sneer Society! Yes, the thing we mentioned as a pretend subscription service is now here as a for-real lifetime membership for our most devoted fans.

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Whether you’ve been with us since our first post or you’ve just recently discovered us, we appreciate you! To everyone who has read our posts, printed our coloring pages, cut out our paper dolls, listened to our playlists, and more, we’re so glad that you took some time to give us a chance, and to appreciate us as much as we appreciate ourselves.

Now, here’s your chance to be a part of Sneer Culture.

 

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Hi hi howdy hi hi, it’s another playlist and this time it’s all about us! It’s been a year, so we know our sound and it’s time that you do, too. We’ve got the beat and we know you can dance to the beat. This list makes our eyes lit, short breaths, dark lids because we like the music, we like the disco sound. While we write about our love for Bette Davis and Frank Sinatra (have you heard of them? They’re both dead. Dead), we need a certain song. When the blues have got us, and we’re making the tea with the petals, we want a space lounge interlude and to dance, dance, dance, dance. But mostly, we wanted to give you a playlist because oh, we care a lot, you pretty things. Don’t question the tracks we picked and don’t analyze it. It’s electric, it’s fantastic. But first, let us talk to you nice. Bear witness:

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Every day and night, every day and ni i i ight, we try to make it magnificent. Some may think that we think we’re the queens of the neighborhood, that all the brothers want to eat this cake, but we’ve got a long, long ways to go before we can be your little honeybees. We know what’s up, we’re never at ease. We’ve got to amuse you, or lose you. We’re obsessed to the point that we don’t wanna see our friends. We work all night, we work all day, because we don’t sleep. Honeybees never sleep, but we should. We’ve got one thing on our minds and we don’t care; that’s just what it’s like when you’re only seen at night. We know we’re drivin’ our mamas and papas insane. It’s a dirty job, but someone’s gotta do it.

 

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