Picture it, you’ve just moved into a beautiful new home in a safe and happy neighborhood with manicured lawns. You’ve unpacked all your essentials, changed your address, and turned on your utilities… now it’s time to make an impression. A big one. You want your new neighbors to know how charming, intelligent, and definitely innocent you are.

childlissa

We’ve gathered a few ways that you can really make a name for yourself in your new town, while only raising a little bit of suspicion, instead of a lot. Say hello to your new neighbors in a way that violently screams, “I LIVE VERY CLOSE TO YOU NOW.” It’s a lot of work, but so is the social contract of a suburban neighborhood.

 

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Sure hope you took advantage of the great energy coming from that Super Blue Blood Moon on January 31st! If you did, it will certainly help set the stage for February because we won’t have a Full Moon at all this month. On the 10th, Venus will cozy up to Pisces and we will be less likely to look outside of ourselves and instead focus on spiritual pursuits. Expect that sorta thing till March 6th. We will have a New Moon in Aquarius on the 15th. This would be a lovely time to usher in new projects that are a bit outside the box.

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The Temperance card is coming in for many signs, so I’m feeling the theme is finding our place in the world and how we can best work with and alongside others. With cooperation we can create great things! Also, you may find that you are attracting people into your sphere that charge you up and fluster you a bit at the same time. You can’t quite define it, but you definitely dig it!

As always, consider your Moon and Rising sign in addition to your Sun. What comes through for each sign is general. If you wish to have a more personalized reading, please hit my name in the sidebar which should take you to my Etsy shop or message me on my FB page Tarot By Tonyana.

Now for a look into February….

 

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whatta stud

The man they call “Tom Parker” is an arteest of the highest caliber. His illustrations are intricate and contain many straight, precise lines which are very difficult to achieve, at least in my experience. This guy, let’s call him “Tomp” because I’m sure he would prefer that we did, specializes in dizzying amounts of detail. The illustrations are amazing, they are magically whimsical, and they are purty. In fact, you can go ahead and join his big fat fan page, for big fat fans regardless of their appearance and medical records. The page is brimming with supporters who gather in screaming throngs whenever he makes a post, and he does make posts. Plenty of them! He is an entertainer on the Facebook platform. Join the Tomp Party.

But I’m not actually shilling him in general. I am here to shove these links in your face. Links like this one right here: a link. Would you look at that?? One of his fancy drawins has been made into a high quality picture puzzle!

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Get ready to hit that reset button, Baby New Year! New Year, New You! Right from the get go, on the evening of the 1st, there’s a Full Moon in Cancer. Resolve an issue concerning women, motherhood, or family issues. The 9th seems like a particularly powerful day, but there is a warning not to get too cocky because pride comes before a fall. Also, around this time, there may be a temptation to take something to the next level to make your point very clear, but getting rowdy really isn’t necessary. Take extra care not to go overboard with food, drink, or anything really. Moderation is key. Remember that Aesop fable about the tortoise and the hare? Have some patience and you WILL get there. There may be a pull to get all emotional, but it would be wise to stick to the facts. If you are too close to something to be rational, you may need some insight from an unbiased source.

hooray

A new wave of energy is ushered in on the work front during the New Moon on January 17. With Mars going into Sagittarius towards the end of the month, we may find ourselves getting heated and frustrated prematurely. Wait till you know all the details before blowing your top. And then there is ANOTHER Full Moon, this time in Leo which will highlight your creativity and just how much of it you are willing to share with the rest of the world.

 

The 7 of Wands is coming in for most signs. I get the feeling that it is indicative of boundary disputes and people trying to roll up on the scene and change what you have grown accustomed to. Just remember that “no” is a complete sentence. Sometimes though, change can be much needed, albeit uncomfortable.

As always, consider your Moon and Rising sign in addition to your Sun. What comes through for each sign is general. If you wish to have a more personalized reading, please hit my name in the sidebar which should take you to my Etsy shop or message me on my FB page Tarot By Tonyana. Now let’s get to the deetz about January!

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Get ready for some crazy zany holiday antics happening this December! The Full Moon in Gemini on the third is urging us to speak the truth about something we have been talking from both sides of our mouths about for some time now, but on that same day Mercury (planet of communication) goes retrograde and urges us to keep a lid on it because someone will without a doubt be offended somehow. The best way to deal with these conflicting energies is to live by the Golden Rule and pick your battles carefully. That’s what I’m going to do! That Mercury Retrograde goes from the 3rd to the 22nd so tread lightly through that time and let us not forget a great rule of thumb is to consider ten days before and after a retrograde. Dang! You still have to live your life. So knowledge is key in order to work with the cosmic flow so you don’t find yourself discouraged from getting knocked down by it. Have back up plans. Mercury Retrogrades can be a beautiful time for reunions and catching and making up with others that we were on the outs with for a bit. On the 18th there is a New moon in Sagittarius, which is a great time to have some light-hearted fun with new friends who just wanna laugh and cut up a bit.

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King of Cups is coming in for most signs. This makes me think that maybe we need to be especially sensitive with how we are speaking and walking our Truths. Not that one should extinguish their personalities so others are more comfortable and tolerant, but more so that we are civil and compassionate of others stories as well. It would be wise to be especially vigilant during emotionally charged discussions.

As always, consider your Moon and Rising sign in addition to your Sun. What comes through for each sign is general. If you wish to have a more personalized reading, please hit my name in the sidebar which should take you to my Etsy shop or message me on my FB page Tarot By Tonyana.

Let’s hop into the December Scopes!

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Hold up, everyone. We’ve got a brand new celebrity on the scene! We are excited and very pleased to announce that finally, FINALLY, we can brag that we knew a superstar before they were known. Finally, someone we know has risen from rags to riches (eventually riches, we assume). From the streets, abandoned, from NOTHING, this lady has become the toast of New York City, probably. Laika has made it.

wooof

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I recently had an article about the benefits of procrastination. Aside from being probably the best article I have ever crafted, it is filled with great notions. It’s seriously long, so I imagine lots of you couldn’t make it through the whole thing, with your post-Mtv buzzfeed listicle brains, so I will give you a little summary: I humorously described how to still be productive while feeling guilty that you weren’t producing what you meant to be at that exact moment.

it me

I still agree with that fully, but today there is a difference. When I had written that, I was still filled with the spirit of not-quite-efficiency. I had “up and at whatever” “can do some things” “go get ’em, someone, maybe, you tiger-shaped stuffed toy” spirit. Today, however, I am just a blob. This is not a depression. It’s just pure laziness. And I think that’s okay. I have believed the horrible things people think about laziness, too. But now, here, in the middle of a good powerful laze, I realize that I may have been being too hasty in my judgment.

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Brought to us by the production company started by the father and son duo of Eugene Levy and Daniel Levy, this is the greatest show for us ever to wait three years to rave about. Schitt’s Creek is a sitcom with the absolute most perfect cast which has ever been cast, along with a premise that showcases their best comedic qualities.

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If you’ve been wondering where Chris Elliot has been lately, he’s currently the Mayor of Schitt’s Creek, a town named after his own family. Roland Schitt is a well-meaning but abrasive local fella who has roots in Schitt’s Creek, his beloved hometown.

The Rose family, an outrageously wealthy foursome, loses their riches due to the actions of their business manager and the only thing that they have left is… the entire town of Schitt’s Creek. Purchased as a joke gift for his son David, the patriarch Johnny Rose bought the town itself just for a silly quip. They move into some motel rooms and try their best to fit in.

 

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I am not a person who is given to complaint — don’t believe anything you might hear from the rumor mill! Vicious lies. In my daily living, I am not about to complain about regular human error. Mostly I am thinking that if I am served the wrong food, because I don’t have any outrageous food allergies or restrictions, I will just eat it because I would rather not waste food. And I guess I would rather not make a big fuss over it. Although I just realized that they probably would let me eat for free so maybe next time, if it ever happens again, I will say something! Witness my character growth in the very first paragraph in real time.

me a lot

However, the point of this article is to tell you the story of this one time when I felt WRONGED. I was misled by packaging. So I went after the Kroger corporation in the only way I could figure out that didn’t involve speaking on the phone or to anyone’s face. I wrote an angry letter, just like an old person.

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