brown chicken brown cow

My friend Jairo and I have a long-running inside joke into which I am about to invite you. We call it The Compilation. Let me give some back story. We are both former employees of a secondhand bookstore that shall remain nameless. Until a few years ago we had to choose “appropriate” music for store play via CDs for sale from our inventory. It was such a pain. Sometimes there was nothing that anybody really wanted to hear, so we would be forced to choose 5 lesser evils.

Sometimes we would be inundated by the Beatles, which in my unpopular opinion is utter torture. A lot of the time we had to listen to Pedo music. In layman’s terms it is called Doo-Wop and Motown. There are so many songs about teenage girls being pursued by adult men. How the hell is this acceptable? That’s fodder for another article. Eventually we got a satellite radio station we could listen to. It really wasn’t much better. It was just ok. One minute we would be hearing the wonderful bagpipes of “Under the Milkyway” by The Church, but then suddenly it would be some yodeling fool. I wish I were kidding.

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August is Read a Romance Novel Month so we thought we’d sneak this one in right at the end!

Sneer Publishing is just around the corner, along with our other thousand new daily ideas. SP will debut with a box set of our first five romance novels that we’ll unleash to the world in a storm of paper and marketing. The box set will be limited edition, of course, with embossed covers and gilded page edges.

We won’t give too much away though, because we expect you to buy them at the full price of $749.99 for the set.

voodoo cupid

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Dear Trent,

My friends say that guitarists are off-limits for me, but since you’re fictional anyway I’m gonna go for it. In an era of strange and uninteresting male MTV stars, you stood out as at least a hunk. A slacker, nihilist, sarcastic hunk. What a dreamboat.

trentttt

You were grungy, aloof, a little dumb, and hot. We liked your punky skinny jeans and your idiotic lyrics. You spent a lot of time thinking of ways to get more sleep. Same, Trent.

 

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hawkeye

Dearest Hawkeye,

Oh, would that I could be a nurse at the 4077th Mobile Army Surgical Hospital. How do the rest manage to roll their eyes at you and walk away? How do they just giggle and turn to their friends, unimpressed? I couldn’t possibly! One look my way and I’d be ready to get that whitefish in New Jersey with you, the meal you dreamt of.

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Silent movies are an under-appreciated era of film history. Many people have a hard time enjoying black and white movies at all, claiming that it seems instantly “more boring,” so asking them to also try to watch something that only has ill-fitting or overwrought music for a soundtrack, and to also read dialogue cards, is an exercise in frustration and futility. People are missing so many good things!

Because I’m such a nice person, I will detail one scene in one comedy movie starring Buster Keaton in order to save you the trouble of enjoying something on your own. Do you know who Buster Keaton is, by the way? He was a slapstick comedy man who wasn’t Charlie Chaplin. That should get you started.

Buster Keaton

Today, we are watching an important scene from the Cameraman, which I confess to never having fully watched. The premise is set up in the first 30 seconds. Buster is at the public pool, intending to have a good time as one generally does at such a place. He goes in to a changing room to change clothes, and another man is also directed into the same room. Comedy ensues.

Feel free to watch along with me. The scene is only four and a half minutes long, but certainly worth it. For those of you who are not able to see it right now, I have provided a chronological timeline of noteworthy events after the link.

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What is to be done when your two best buds share a birthday? You plan a party for them to share, whether they want to or not, of course! This is what happens up in VIP Heaven every single day. All the glorious divas and class acts and famous historical figures continually share the spotlight (which actually might be VIP Hell, now that I think of it) with their birthday brothers and sisters. But you know that Mae West would be able to make the most of it.

I have drawn her engaging in a dance and typical maewestian banter with my noble ancestor, David Crockett.

Happy Birthday to these superstar icons!

Maevy

My friends and I discuss important topics quite regularly. On this day, AlexT and I addressed the idea that the human brain is the most erotic organ in the body. As this is just a short conversation, we cut straight to the chase and look at my very own brain. I tell you, it’s just like a fully accurate MRI of what is inside this noggin.

Groucho Brain Comic by Amanda Wood