We are all of us adults here on this site, writers and readers, well-wishers and detractors. This naturally means that we are all well-acquainted with that sluggish beast known as Procrastination. Society views Procrastination as a blight, a rotten spot on anyone’s character. Procrastination is a heavy shame and people want it stamped out. But this is a new day, a new era. Like other old prejudices, the irrational hatred for slacking around still lurks around, but we can’t really be surprised by it. I mean, after all, old-fashioned race-ism still lingers around and that malarkey is so outdated, I mean really.
But I am here to explain how all the haters are hating a painful misconception! AS USUAL.
That’s right. Anyone can make procrastination WORK. You can still be productive while procrastinating, you just need to open your mind and get over the fact that you might not be succeeding in producing the finished product you might have NEEDED to finish. But I think maybe we should reconsider this current lifestyle of “deadlines” and “you have to complete this specific thing I paid you to complete.” It’s all so narrow-minded, and I can’t support that foolish mindset. This is not an article about what I do and do not support though. Oh wait, yes it is. Because:
I Support Making Procrastination Work for YOU
Too often I find myself searching for a cult to join and finding only religious ones, or creepy death cults, or what could turn out to be a highly illegal sex cult. Much like shopping for trouser-pants, it’s so hard to find a perfect fit! But what is a cult? Why, it’s anything you want it to be, baybee, and therein lies the appeal.
You hear about cults a lot in the news, from time to time, and it’s everyone’s dream to be on the front page at some point. Stop waiting for Fate to strike, and instead take Destiny into your own hands. Attract people to you, make them chant and obey you, dress them however you like, and pick a snazzy name. It’s as easy as that! Enjoy the thrills of having a mass of people flock to you and believe you to be the answer to all of life’s troubles. Who needs a significant other when you can have a modest assemblage of worshipers?
We’ve covered some other voodoo spells previously, for love and for life. But it’s the future, and we know that what you really care about is your career and how much you’re making. Work is everything. You spend all your time there, and even more time getting there. Your coworkers are your de facto friends, and your manager might as well be your mother (Hi John!).
Are you struggling with the amount of work you have? Upset that business hours haven’t adapted to the real world in 2017? Sick of spending half the day at your desk just because you’re obligated to appear as if there’s still work to do, lest they decide to let you go?
Ordinarily it is a fact that you “get what you pay for” − but not on the Sneer Campaign! We do love to give you quality art that is guaranteed to work, however it’s supposed to work. Usually it is a coloring page, but today you get some nice cards to print out at your leisure. The only thing it will cost you is in printer ink. Or possibly in an entire printer because they have been making it so that it is cheaper to buy a new printer than to buy an ink cartridge. Save those angry letters for the printer manufacturers! We are here to get you and another a sense of relief and satisfaction and — dare we say it? Miraculous and immediate cures. We will, ourselves, be testing each and every one of these out on Daniel Haun, who is still battling his monster of an ailment to varying degrees in various ways.
Actually we will cater to the millennials who are banding together to kill the printer industry, and allow you to just do the ol’ right-click and copy image url, or save the image, if you want, AS WELL AS an option to print out a paper card which you can then write inside of. We will even give you some possible sentiments to scrawl inside of them with your lunatic writing. This is how much we care about you and sentiments.
Get a haircut, ya dang hippie! Really though. Hair keeps growing every single day and it doesn’t even stop after you’re dead, according to popular trivia that might or might not be true. While Amandoll keeps her hair short because she can’t stand the touch of loose hair on her neck, I sometimes can go months, years without bothering. I’m not growing it out for a wig or anything, I just have better things to do.
Every once in a while, however, I reach a point where it’s just gotta go. Or I suddenly have hair motivation and am able to get to a pair of scissors before it fades away again and I become distracted by all of the more interesting things in life, which is apparently almost everything else. I’m even writing this article instead of getting the haircut that I need! Oh well!
Any time a new animal friend enters my life, I find myself considering what name would suit it. I don’t mean that I take fifteen minutes before settling on the forever-name. I mean I draw up charts and make lists and say each word hundreds of times. I consult numerology and tea leaves and the phases of the moon. I read baby name books and dictionaries and look at the shapes of clouds hoping that one will inspire me suitably.
Perhaps many of you think I am going overboard when it comes to this sort of thing, but I used to stress over naming my Sims, too, so this is how seriously I take names! A pet will live out its entire lifespan (which it will obviously be spending entirely with you, responsible pet owner), so the name is crucial. You will be saying this word repeatedly, and eventually, engraving it on a little stone monument to mark its place in a pet cemetery. It’s the most important thing to this animal, after food, water, shelter, and pettings.
Any time, any place (that you are out in public) there is a horrible likelihood that a stranger is going to interact with you. All the time, right? Not just to me? They aren’t always bad encounters, not by a long shot. Some people are just being kind and good. Others, however, have boundary issues, or are simply so socially awkward and unaware that they don’t realize that they are causing a bad moment. Still others are plain and simple nightmares.
Why can’t people leave other people alone? Who knows! Even Amandoll, a recluse, has her fair share of unpleasant encounter stories. Well, here are some examples of some very uncomfortable interactions I’ve had. I have even included some suggestions at the end, for the next time you too feel trapped in a conversation.
I was a Girl Scout when I was younger. In some ways, I’ll always be one! In other ways, why isn’t everyone? I still have my old Girl Scout badges, though I wouldn’t wear that vest around (it wouldn’t fit, mostly). I also still have my old book of how to earn each badge and sign. In the book it explains that the badges are also called recognitions, so when someone sees your badge, they recognize your accomplishments. As the book says, “Badges… show that you have done something so often and so well that you can teach it to someone.”
This week is Girl Scout Week. It falls the week of March 12, the anniversary of when Juliette Gordon Low held her first troop meeting. In honor of that, I propose we earn some Scouting for Women badges.
We love calendars of any and all kinds but nothing beats an old-fashioned, boxy wall calendar with photos related to one of your random interests or of hot men lovingly holding baby animals. Sometimes wall calendars with monthly images seem sort of archaic, like a bad gift your confused great-grandmother might give to you on someone else’s birthday. But you’d be hard-pressed to find something more useful for general planning than a wall calendar (or 3 or 7). Grab all the ones you can find, and some Sharpies of various colors, and let’s get planning.
Normally I make a point of it to not cover ground that has already been covered to death. I just don’t mess with it. I know many of you are saying, “But the internet has a million seduction guides up already.” That much is true. They are all well and good, or not so good, and could probably net you a person of average ability, appearance, and expectation, if they are among the better variety. Fine if you are into that kind of thing. Personally, I’m not much for child’s play. So while the other guides might get you some ass, I’m here to get you some class.
Now I’m not giving you ALL of my secrets here. It isn’t fair to the women of the world for me to unleash an army of men they have no ability to resist. Sorry guys, you ain’t leaving with a full stomach, but I ain’t so mean that I’m not going to throw you some scraps. These tips will help you get a leg up, possibly a second leg up, but it is up to you as to whether or not you get that third leg up. As for the rest of you with the manly gender as a target, I am sure these same suggestions can work for you. Hell, any human being of any orientation seeking any other being can probably use this guide just fine. However, I can only really speak for my own self − and I have no complaints.