brown chicken brown cow

My friend Jairo and I have a long-running inside joke into which I am about to invite you. We call it The Compilation. Let me give some back story. We are both former employees of a secondhand bookstore that shall remain nameless. Until a few years ago we had to choose “appropriate” music for store play via CDs for sale from our inventory. It was such a pain. Sometimes there was nothing that anybody really wanted to hear, so we would be forced to choose 5 lesser evils.

Sometimes we would be inundated by the Beatles, which in my unpopular opinion is utter torture. A lot of the time we had to listen to Pedo music. In layman’s terms it is called Doo-Wop and Motown. There are so many songs about teenage girls being pursued by adult men. How the hell is this acceptable? That’s fodder for another article. Eventually we got a satellite radio station we could listen to. It really wasn’t much better. It was just ok. One minute we would be hearing the wonderful bagpipes of “Under the Milkyway” by The Church, but then suddenly it would be some yodeling fool. I wish I were kidding.

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Somewhat recently, fellow resident of the Sneer House, Lisa, and I took a trip to the Midwestern United States’ Largest Flea Market, which is conveniently located just north of Cincinnati. For those of you unfamiliar with the large scale flea market, let me just describe it as an expansive building filled with booths that are full of an array of garbage that is for sale. Some of the booths actually sell quality items, and you wonder what they are doing there, but mostly it seems to be junk that fell off of the back of a truck and these people scavenged it and put low, low price tags on it — or absurdly high price tags. For those of you who ARE familiar with flea markets, you know that the “bottom” in my title means a butt.

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You are all familiar with the hit Netflix show Stranger Things, right? That wonderful show has really cheered me up and given me hope for humanity, despite the Demogorgon and the Shadow Monster. Lately in my car I have been rocking out to Depeche Mode, which makes me think of the ‘80s, which of course is when Stranger Things take place. I got to thinking, “what if each ST character had a DPM theme song?” I think it could happen.  

dance

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lacy

To take advantage of post-Halloween clearance at a costume store, I made a few purchases to feed my costume obsession. Among the purchased items is a pair of black lacy fingerless gloves. I have taken to wearing the gloves every day as my statement piece. “What is a statement piece?” you might be asking me. Probably in your head rather than out loud, but that’s none of my business. A statement piece is an accessory that makes a statement, which is mostly “look at me!” but gloves can say other things as well. Shall we explore?

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