Hello my sneer friends. Recently I went through an eye-opening and scary time, and I wanted to share some of my experience with you. My hope is that anyone who finds themselves in a similar situation will be prepared if this ever happens to them.

I’d been watching the Gordon Ramsey-led reality television show “Hotel Hell.” The sound of an Englishman yelling at people for keeping a refrigerator full of beetles or for making a placenta mural in the foyer really brings me down and gets me to a place where I’m ready to sleep at night. Sometimes in my dreams Gordon is riding a giant horse, and he trots up to the field where I take my picnics, and he showers me with warm beef wellingtons. The crust hits my cheeks with an audible crunch and I beam with pride at my famous man pastry cow circles.

Then it happened. One night, unable to quite make my way through an episode, I paused the show, to continue later.

aaaa

A startling visage now lay before me – I knew it was human but there was something wrong – a feeling deep in my spine, a tingle in my feet and a sense of dread rolled through me all at once. If this frame of the show really belonged here, what could possibly happen next?

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So haunted houses are a thing and we all know that they are terrifying. We have seen videos of people crying their way through haunted halls or screaming while running out of the house. But I’ll tell you what’s really scary: recurring nightmares.

Recurring Nightmares of Dollissa by Amanda Wood

 

I have these nightmares often. They blend into each other, so I never know how much I dreamt one time vs another. They continue during later nightmares, they go back and do prequels. They are insidious and everlasting, presumably. They’re always a little different, but similar enough that they are definitely the same situation in usually the same place. It’s awful and I don’t want to interpret any of them. DON’T HELP ME INTERPRET THEM.

 

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I am pretty sure that most people have security blankets as children. I use the term as an umbrella term for any sort of security thing, as I know many of us did not exactly use a blanket.

My first security blanket was actually a pillowcase, I’m pretty sure. I only barely remember it. What I mostly remember well is how it was lost. We stayed at a hotel, at Disney World maybe? The hotel staff took the pillowcase as if it were one of their own to launder, even though it was covered in what I assume were either marker or makeup stains, judging by the bright colors.

Teddy, though, I’ve had for 25 years. Here is what he looks like.

Teddy, Dollissa's Security Blanket

 

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Are you afraid of everything? Me too. Monsters, ghosts, the A word (I don’t want to believe), you name it! I’m sure you noticed that often my posts are about my fears. We even have a whole Irrational Fear comic series for your enjoyment.

It’s hard to live this way! You can’t really go out at night because it’s dark and maybe not even into your living room at night if the light switch is too far away. If you hear something, every one of your muscles tenses until you fall asleep from distress. Sometimes you turn on all your lights and call your sister. Maybe you clutch the sharp butcher knife in your white-knuckled shaky little hands just waiting to finally have to defend yourself in the worst case scenario you’ve been dreaming about for decades. Whatever. You deal with it!

fear

 

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Greetings fellow cryptozoologists, Halloween freaks, monster lovers (not in that way), and general aficionados of the arcane, deformed, and peculiar. Today, in honour of the spooky season, Sneer Campaign is pleased to introduce to you a menagerie of horrors too deviant to imagine. Luckily though, you don’t have to imagine them. Amanda has drawn them for you.

Warning: terror ahead.

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While looking through the 15 bins my mother has in storage in her basement of my childhood things, I found a book from when I was 12 or so. The book is called The Hidden Power of Dreams (by Denise Linn) and is largely about lucid dreaming and using your dreams to help your spiritual journey.

The Hidden Glamour of Dreams

The book has a rudimentary dream dictionary in it. It does say that you should not use it directly to define something in a dream, but that it is more of a guideline for interpretation of the dream as a whole. Even with that huge caveat, it’s a really bad dream dictionary. Some of the interpretations are just definitions of that word, others have as many as four conflicting interpretations. See the following example:

BEE

Busy; industrious.
Social cooperation.
The possibility of hidden sweetness.
Feeling “stung” by some circumstance or remark.

I mean, come on, right? So I’ve decided to describe some of my most common recurring dreams and interpret them with the dictionary in this book, published in 1988, and then the Sneer Campaign way, which is probably more accurate and also exciting. Most of these dreams are actually definitely nightmares.

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