Brought to us by the production company started byt the father and son duo of Eugene Levy and Daniel Levy, this is the greatest show for us ever to wait three years to rave about. Schitt’s Creek is a sitcom with the absolute most perfect cast which has ever been cast, along with a premise that showcases their best comedic qualities.

schitts

If you’ve been wondering where Chris Elliot has been lately, he’s currently the Mayor of Schitt’s Creek, a town named after his own family. Roland Schitt is a well-meaning but abrasive local fella who has roots in Schitt’s Creek, his beloved hometown.

The Rose family, an outrageously wealthy foursome, loses their riches due to the actions of their business manager and the only thing that they have left is… the entire town of Schitt’s Creek. Purchased as a joke gift for his son David, the patriarch Johnny Rose bought the town itself just for a silly quip. They move into some motel rooms and try their best to fit in.

 

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Sorry about bringing up clowns again, so soon, and outside of Halloween Season, and it’s not like I even love clowns all that much! And I’m not even saying that I am obsessed with them, but even so — obsessions don’t understand your notions of there being appropriate times or places. In fact, an obsession wouldn’t comprehend the word “inappropriate” at all, or “creepy” for that matter. And neither do I!

 

 

Anyway, I saw this beautiful gif the other day, while I was living on the internet as I do, and I became mesmerized with a thought. Mr. Rogers was a good man, a saint, and is very definitely a saint in our Sneerholic pantheon. He represents all that can be good in the world and is without blame. You know how we feel about him. On the other hand, clowns are commonly known to be evil, I guess, in these modern times. They are frightening and often up to no good. ALLEGEDLY. There are plenty of kind clowns out there, clowning for the sick and in parades, but every single one of us suspects their motives. Each of us wonders what possibly-literal skeletons are in the closets of their murderhouses. Thanks, John Wayne Gacy!

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Some lucky people are staying home from work, everyone is remembering another instance where indigenous people suffered, families are eagerly awaiting a new coloring page to color together – that’s right, it’s another Monday-observed holiday, but this one is wonderful!

Columbo Day is when families gather around their televisions to marathon-watch episodes ofColumbo on Netflix, YouTube, or from your personal collection of the complete ColumboDVDs! We are slowly introducing the newest tradition over the next twenty-four years: the Columbo Discovers America coloring book, one page released per year. This is the third, highly anticipated page.

Spoiler: In the end, America actually discovers Columbo, and everyone’s lives are improved dramatically. Happy coloring! Click to enlarge the picture and for printing!

color it

As you probably knew, we love wordgames and we love apps. We love competing with friends, but we love competing with ourselves, too. We love playing games that seem like they could be building our brain muscles somehow. Well. We love WordScapes.

There are about ?00 levels but it seems like there are tens of thousands of them. It’s a relaxing game with no losing and no using up energy. You play however long you want as long as you can complete the board. It surprised me when I started that I didn’t have a limited amount of times to play per day or per time period. I kept going and going and going. I’m still going to this very day. No matter how far in the future you may be reading this from time of publication.

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Honor, stalk, creep out — whatever you want to call it, this loving activity that you can do publicly or very much in secret, with the subject being a dear friend, acquaintance, or total stranger, is a cathartic creative process. We of course know all about what to do and how to do it with a mastery of style and much enthusiasm and we would like to teach you, the whole world, how to do it too.

In my demonstration today, I will use our friend, Frant. It is his birthday and he is deserving of all of the heavy-handed, cloying, and terrifying respect that we can lob his way. The goal is to make anyone you wish to adore feel like they are drowning in it, if they were to find out. “It” could here mean “the pleasure of being worshiped” or “the fear of being trapped somehow.” Different people give rise to different scenarios, but we know that unlike cchris, Frant will enjoy this. At least HE HAD BETTER.

we love you

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We have a lot of fears. Some make sense; others, not so much. This latter type will be featured once monthly until we run out of material, at which point, we might begin accepting the fears of our readers. 

cchris

I love describing my dynamic with cchris to anyone who has a moment to listen, because I never have been able to understand it. I even mention it on here as much as I can, partly because it’s part of my character makeup, and partly because I really am that bewildered by it. Over the years, things have shifted and changed. When I realized that he is very mysterious, my imagination occasionally will step in and try to figure out WHY. Who is so good at not giving out personal facts? For this many years? Is it villainy? Is it because there’s nothing there? Is it to appear more interesting? What is there to hide, and if there is nothing to hide — WHY.

The irrational fear depicted in the comic has OMGJeremy to blame. Apparently he thinks that cchris and I write similarly, and maybe it is HIS irrational fear that I am pretending to be this whole other person. When he first told me of this, I did have a little while where I might have been horrified and fearful at the possibility. That would be world-shattering to realize. But I guess I don’t fear it, exactly. If it turns out it’s all been in my head, that’s almost impressive. I could live with it. I could live with having made a little Canadian Tulpa. That’s fine. Whatever. I would just like to know for sure before I die of old age.

This is the most tedious game that you want to play. Most games try to disguise the fact that they are the same thing over and over and are largely based on chance. They try to disguise the fact that you earn points to level up so that you can earn more points. Or it at least takes longer for it to feel like a chore. Or to realize that you’re just playing a clicking game.

Pokemone Magikarp Jump

 

But not Pokémon Magikarp Jump! This one is barebones, totally obvious that it’s just a thing to pass the time. And it’s great. It’s finally Pokemon’s version of a clicking/tapping game and the mechanics are superbly mundane.

 

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Friends have been talking about this show for a bit, but of course I waited for it to be on Netflix, my lord and savior. Now that the first season is up, I get what all the chatter was about. First of all, nice job Netflix with the spot featuring Cole Sprouse eating that burger. And fantastic job, The CW, for all of the rest of it. This show is already renewed for a second season, thank goodness. If you know me at all and we speak on a regular basis, I have already told you every line, plot, actor, setting, and other details of this show, whether you wanted me to or not.

jughot amirite

Anyway, as you can see by the way it says that Jughead is “finally” eating a burger that it’s not the Archie you know and love. It’s the Riverdale that you’ll get to know and then love. It’s a “subversive take” on the Archie comics characters. That pretty much means it’s Dark Archie but what it delivers is even better. What you get is some sort of fabulous and strange version of The O.C. combined with Scooby-Doo! Mystery Incorporated, but with Archie characters. As it turns out, that’s all I’ve ever wanted in such a show.

 

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Apparently, I am going to quote the bible. Are you ready? “When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things.”

no opinions here

I totally agree, Christian bible, in spite of our other differences. At some point in your life, you do have to put away childish things. But first, you have to decide what those childish things are. It takes years and maturity to discover that what was once appropriate is no longer. This is not to say that you cannot watch cartoons or play with toys, but that you shouldn’t still pick your nose or slap dogs in the face (not that children should either).

 

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How many people here love murder-mystery shows? Raise your hands. Now, how many of you SHOULD love murder-mystery shows? I am going to suppose you have all raised your hands because that would be the truthful thing to do and we live in a world of honesty. Speaking of honesty, I will honestly tell you right here and now that Columbo is the finest television program in this genre of television show. It is also probably the finest program of the 1970s. You cannot dispute this fact with me because I will not hear otherwise.

hooray

 

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