My friend Jairo and I have a long-running inside joke into which I am about to invite you. We call it The Compilation. Let me give some back story. We are both former employees of a secondhand bookstore that shall remain nameless. Until a few years ago we had to choose “appropriate” music for store play via CDs for sale from our inventory. It was such a pain. Sometimes there was nothing that anybody really wanted to hear, so we would be forced to choose 5 lesser evils.
Sometimes we would be inundated by the Beatles, which in my unpopular opinion is utter torture. A lot of the time we had to listen to Pedo music. In layman’s terms it is called Doo-Wop and Motown. There are so many songs about teenage girls being pursued by adult men. How the hell is this acceptable? That’s fodder for another article. Eventually we got a satellite radio station we could listen to. It really wasn’t much better. It was just ok. One minute we would be hearing the wonderful bagpipes of “Under the Milkyway” by The Church, but then suddenly it would be some yodeling fool. I wish I were kidding.
What would summer be without a playlist of summer jams? Music is an important part of a complete, balanced summertime, and we wouldn’t be caught DEAD without a soundtrack for our memories. Strap on your headphones or nail in your earbuds, whatever your preference, install Spotify if you haven’t already, and listen along with us. Then, in the future, any time you hear any of these songs, you can think fondly of us at Sneer Campaign, and how swell we were to try to make the summer of 2017 a brighter place for you and the whole wide world.
We love you.
Woo! Womenfolk! Aren’t we great? Don’t we deserve at least equal amounts of respect and admiration? Politics! Identities! Inherent natures! The good news is that while we are busy being women, we can listen to music either by other women we happen to respect who have musical talent or maybe it is actually music that inspires us and gives us a little of that ol’ pride. Good job, us, for being the fabulous gender. Good work, us, because we can’t be wrong about how to be ourselves!
Music makes moods. Everyone needs to get into the spirit of the season so we decided to scare up some holiday appropriate music for you! Now, a lot of this is not our normal listening pleasure. As it turns out, a lot of “Halloween Music” is goofy! Wacky songs describing absurd monster parties and little jaunty tunes about skeletons or whatever don’t really inspire a person with a thrill of terror suitable for the time. However, sometime in the past, it was decided that Halloween Music should be silly, and preferably some version of rockabilly. Call us crazy, but we don’t think the saxophone is a particularly ghostly instrument, but whatever.
So we have added some good old-fashioned Satanic music, and music that causes one to think of death and dying. It’s good to have a mix. Organs, harpsichords, waltzes, and lamentations feature in these songs. And also we included some popular hits, and Aleister Crowley. Who doesn’t love that guy? Listen with us.
In the making of this playlist, for a second we thought that maybe we would assemble about fifty truly patriotic songs, largely featuring the songs they made us sing in elementary school. But then we realized that fifty is actually a big number when it comes to things like that. And I listened to a lot of Rage Against the Machine in the 1990s so it probably would have started to go terribly awry once we started trying to find good songs about Freedom. But then we realized that we could just add one song for every state, including Washington DC!
So put on this list and experience three hours and five minutes of the beauty and majesty of this country. Appreciate the variety of sounds as you appreciate the variety of this melting pot nation. Take an aural road trip of the mind and burst with pride if you are American, or burst with whatever emotion you want if you aren’t, or if you are angstily counter-culture. You are free – FREE! – to feel whatever you want. We will salute you and set off a firework. Wonder at the reasoning behind what we selected to represent a particular state.
At the sneer campaign we have a love of many things, as we are so often eager to explain to you all. Along with animals and people and pretty much whatever, we also appreciate many Places. Some of these places include Cincinnati, Ohio, Newark, New Jersey, Whitby, Ontario, Adelaide, Australia, Las Vegas, Nevada, and… outer space.
Okay, so we’re afraid of space, but we love it too. It’s one of those things − like men, zoos, or Sailor Moon Drops − that we feel very strongly about in contrasting ways. Outer space is vast, dark, eerie. It’s full of mystery and wonder and all that shit!
A horse is a horse, of course. You can lead them to water but you may be disappointed. You shouldn’t look a gift one in the mouth, for whatever reason. Although, straight from the horse’s mouth is an ideal way to learn something. You can pee like a racehorse, or have to. There are horses of a different color. Don’t run before your horse to the market. Definitely don’t mess with the horse that was foaled of an acorn. Horse horse horse.
The wagon rests in winter, the sleigh in summer, the horse never.
The wind of heaven is that which blows between a horse’s ears.
Anyway, we’ve curated a horse-themed playlist below. It’s not a playlist of every song mentioning horses, but a playlist a long time in the making of some of our favorite, and some of the best, horse songs around (or, more likely, horse metaphor songs). The prevalence of pony-related songs is not because we are pre-teen girls, but because they’re fantastic. Listen with us! The playlist is below, and I recommend playing this one with shuffle!
Have you been enjoying National Clown Week? We sure hope so! Merry-making and comic mischief is hard work, but we have made a playlist to make things easier for you. Luckily for the world, I have been amassing a Circus Playlist on Spotify for the past four years and I have skimmed some of the circusiest tracks (plus one rendition of that classic song, my favorite song of all songs, “Brazil”) off the top to present to you. Yes, my personal playlist has almost 700 tracks, and yes, I do listen to it on any ordinary day.
It’s honeybee swarm season! What does that mean? That it’s springtime! And almost summer. And that if you see a honeybee swarm, don’t be scared! They are just finding a new home and won’t hurt you, probably. (Sneer Campaign can not guarantee that you will never get stung by a bee.)
Here at Sneer Campaign we are fond of bees. Bees are the little musical friends of the sky, zipping around and softly buzzing through the summer breeze. They spend their time bringing us flowers and produce, as a byproduct of their tasty pollen diet. I’m sure we’ve all seen Bee Movie, so there’s no need to explain that bees run the world.
Over the years (yes, years!) we have compiled our favorite bee songs. Songs about bees, songs that mention bees, songs that remind us of bees, and even a few songs about honey. We hope that you enjoy them. We recommend sipping on an iced tea, relaxing with a cat, and staring up at the trees and clouds while you listen. Just kidding! Have a coffee.