Say what you will about astrology and the power of the stars and the accuracy of natal horoscopes. However I say, as of about an hour before making this post, that there must be something to it, and February 5th must be the Day of Weirdos I Wouldn’t Want to Bring Home to Mother. The universe gave birth to William S. Burroughs on this day in 1914 and he went on to become the world’s most beloved queer junkie weirdo whose droning voice blessed all kinds of things, and his addled words made poetry that became dear to people into that kind of thing. Meanwhile, in 1940, a baby by the name of HR Giger plopped out into the world and immediately began drawing demented things that became interwoven into certain pieces of pop culture, most importantly those Alien movies.
We have decided to celebrate these twin souls separated by a few decades, these angels who we assume didn’t know each other and never met, by creating a portrait of the wordy one in the style of the drawy one. Happy birthday, the two of you, we hope there really is an afterlife so that the two of you can sit down together and make friends and maybe make some other ghosts feel uncomfortable somehow.
Born December 12, 1915, Frank Sinatra was a heroic figure of Hoboken virtues — particularly manliness and civic virtue. Most often, he is known as a singer and movie actor, but around my home town, he is best known as the founder Cincinnati, Ohio. It is not a widely known fact beyond this region, but the city was originally known as Sinsinatra and we were raised to revere his uprightness and strength of character.
In the 1960s, when it seemed that his stardom was losing its luster and that he would wind up being a penniless tragedy, the city he once called his kingdom distanced itself from him and renamed itself to Cincinnati, pretending that it had ties to ancient Rome somehow, for some reason. Of course, this angered Sinatra and he went on to build Las Vegas, known affectionately as Sin(atra) City, and he sure showed us by becoming the icon he is today, eternal and universal in all ways.
Still, there are statues that remain around town, and here is my humble sketch of the most prominent one. It is Sinatra wearing his classic tunic and fedora combo, in honor of his keen sense of style. He is holding out an ax wrapped in fine Cuban cigars and bound in what appears to be some skinny fashion neck ties, indicating his dislike of chopping timber and his love of cigars and finery. He is standing in front of a plow of some kind, a symbol of his love of fresh farm foods.
As we sat around the figurative sneer round table, counting all the reasons we are thankful, it dawned upon us that the source of many of our blessings is the one and only Dollissa, co-founder of this site. But who or what IS Dollissa? What function does she provide in our group dynamic? Quite simply, she is the living embodiment of charm, beauty, nature, human creativity, and charity. She is all three of the Graces of ancient mythology, and sometimes more than that!
What has she given us lately? Say, in the past twelve months?
- Liquid, life-saving nourishment that is easy to digest
- Inspiration to go on another day
- A whole house
- Tickets for traveling
- Cropped pictures of cat feet
- Charitable donations that benefit the world
- Billion dollar ideas
- Exposure to new music
- A gambling habit
- Sound financial advice
- Quality content
- Another year of the sneer campaign
- Free cat hair
- Polaroid camera
- Information on any episode of any tv show
- Real fly shoes
- Ten thousand laughs every week
- And a lot more but I’m running late
So thanks, Dollissa! Thanks a WHOLE BUNCH. Here’s a depiction of you in your true form as a gift. Thxu
Beloved alien leading man, Benedict Cumberbatch, took time away from posing as a human celebrity to sit for a portrait in his natural form today. Outfitted from head to toe in the sensible attire of his peaceful home planet, Ithor, Mr. Cumberbatch is about to earn accolades from his upcoming theatrical release, Dr. Strange, which is set to be released on November 4, 2016. It promises to be successful.
Highly enjoyable comedian and actor, Hannibal Buress, showed up at our studio today to have his portrait done in his true form. It may come to a surprise to some, but certainly not all, that Mr. Buress is in fact a superhero complete with superpowers. Here, he brandishes his Torch of Impartial Judgment which burns bright with the Light of Truth and Incisive Wit, which is a deep cut indeed to anyone who is on the receiving end. This outstanding fellow has not yet come forth with his official supername, but his arch-nemeses include at least one alleged rape-clown and perhaps some members of the Pop Culture Gang. We look forward to seeing his justice meted out in the coming months and years and wish him all the luck in the world.
Revered candlestick entertainer, Benedict Cumberbatch, took time away from posing as a human actor to sit for a portrait in his natural form today. Showcasing the only flame-resistant menswear available in his home dimension of Cumbusterbatch, the flam-beau of everyone’s dreams has recently agreed to join an all-star cast in celebrating Shakespeare’s life work on the BBC later this month.
Now that her musical tour is over, Taylor Swift had time to sit for a portrait in her natural form today. The superstar golden Aisha is originally from a land called Neopia and appears before us dressed in a summery frock: one of her favorite looks. Miss Swift recently celebrated her romantic relationship’s one year anniversary with human being Calvin Harris, who measures 6’6″ tall.
On October 19, 1945, Baltimore was introduced to a little bundle of joy called Glenn Milstead. About twenty years later, the WORLD was blessed by the creation of Divine. Let us all join hands and sing praises for this beauty queen, this iconic role model to young and old, rich and poor alike, regardless of gender, orientation, or social status.
There isn’t much more to say, except that you can click the image to enlarge it, if you need even more Divine in your life.
Famed hammerhead-man hybrid, Benedict Cumberbatch, pleases us today by posing for a portrait. This was sent to us hastily by Amandoll, who we have not heard from since. We fear that she has been taken captive on Planet Cumber-00738.
Celebrated reptoid spy, Benedict Cumberbatch, took time away from posing as a human actor to sit for a portrait in his natural form today. Outfitted from head to toe in the warrior garb of his home dimension known as Cumboid 7, the much sought-after actor experienced his birthday yesterday. He is nearing forty earth years of age.