When two friends hold a casual conversation, sometimes it turns into an unexpected confession. Sometimes, it is revealed that one or both of the conversationalists are terrible people, on the inside. In this real life chat that really did happen, cchris seems like he is maybe worried, or at least taking mental notes for some purpose or another, but I’m sure I was just saying what he had already thought for himself before. I’m CERTAIN.
Please, enjoy this comic. And please, don’t run away from me.
It surprises no one, I’m sure, to discover that my secret hidden talent and life path dream is to become the slogan generator of a tourism board somewhere — anywhere! My old pal Esther came to me one day, long ago, with news coming from that harrowing icy land that is so very, very far away. It was a genius effort on their part to generate interest, I’m sure. And that’s all! So I decided to help, too. Then I decided to REALLY help by making it a comic that other people might actually see. I’m sure I didn’t need to convince Esther all that much, after all.
Click on the comic below if you want to see the adorable detail or whatever. And Siberia, you can thank me later for the good I have done here.
One thing is absolutely certain: we have an extremely long, and storied history. Earth has been around a really long time, and humans have been around for just a sliver of that time but so much has happened! Thankfully, God gave birth to historians, so every nook and cranny of historical happenings are being examined and researched and thoroughly covered in books and in papers.
On TV, we can settle in for some learnin’ from the History Channel, NatGeo, the Smithsonian, and now even hulu and netflix offer some of these fascinating and well-edited glimpses of our shared past. Everything from why the key nations were catapulted into its second world war to individual battles of WWII, no stone is left unturned while investigating about five thousand years of recorded human history.
Clear communication is extremely important to me. I try to maintain a large working vocabulary so that I can choose the precise word I need for any given moment. If I don’t explain something clearly then that is time wasted and I can’t live like that. Being able to express myself to another person in a concise manner is possibly my most valued skill, in myself and others really, and I can’t overstate this enough.
But then some days, I can’t do it at all. On the day of this comic, not only could I not find the right words, I was actually saying the complete wrong words. I was WRITING the wrong words. I couldn’t hear or see, either. It was a mess. I was a mess. It was making me all in a tizzy. I still sometimes have these moments and I still worry. What does it mean? Am I okay?
I may idealize chickens. My grandparents had some when I was very young, and I have no negative memories associated with that time and apparently that’s all it takes for me to form an opinion that will never, ever change. But I can’t be wrong about this because clearly, all chickens are wonderful.
Now that we have the Sneer HQ, there has been talk of maybe getting a few hens for the back yard. They could help us garden, I assume, and provide us with breakfast supplies. At the very least, there is a nearby park and community garden that has chickens on the premises, so I can visit them and listen to their inquisitive clucking as they ask who I am and why I am not throwing feed their way.Continue reading
We, the writers of Sneer Campaign, are not complete philistines. Occasionally we like to raise our pinky fingers and sip on hot tea while discussing some of the finer things in this world. Sometimes we cover matters of history, other times we may speak at length about books we have read, or scientific breakthroughs that had been brought to our attention somehow. Other days, we sit around analyzing classic artworks — but never modern art because we are not sophisticated enough to “get” it!
Today, we decided to take a look at the Last Supper, by some kid named Leonardo da Vinci. He had his day back in the 1400s, but do not let that frighten you. Those days were not so different than these days we are in now. So take our hands, readers, and appreciate the history of art, religious beliefs, flippant artistic subterfuge, and yes even a little Last Supper Day Miracle!
I joke around all the time but I never really “tell jokes.” That’s just not my style. On the particular day of this comic, I told one of the very few jokes in my arsenal and it did not play out as it should have, as usual. However, also as usual, the result was something that I found to be far funnier than the original punchline. That is really the only value in traditional jokes for me. I like to watch them get out of hand and turn into their own thing that probably makes only me laugh.
That is also my style whenever I write any article, fyi. I do what I can!
I have known Billy Holiday for a very, very long time. I thought that I knew everything there was to know about him but then he dropped this outrageous bombshell on me. And then I offended him. Then there was a spat. It is a classic cycle and is either strengthening or eroding our friendship little by little over these long years.
Now, I am no chicken-cooking expert. This is partly because I am not a great cook, but it is also because I don’t enjoy cooking meats. I always fear that they are underdone and poisoning me or giving me parasites. However, I can tell you that I can’t recall ever having cooked a chicken that came out dry. Maybe my standards are low when it comes to the golden bird, or maybe Billy Holiday needs to take some lessons.
I don’t think you’ll even need to click on it to read it. But if you need to see the detail, if you want to zoom in and see where I changed my hair to better reflect the year 2017, you sure can do it!
Who’s that girl? That haughty broad who appears on anything I can incorporate her into, whenever I make anything for Sneer Campaign – who is she?? What makes her so special that she has basically become the symbol of Sneer Campaign, even though she isn’t one of us, and she isn’t even really sneering there. She’s clearly judging, or about to condescend in the coldest of ways. This silver screen wonder is Bette Davis and her Bette Face is our inspiration every day of the year.
I am a conversation addict. I have been chatting on the internet continuously since 1997 and sometimes I want to stop. Sometimes… But most of the time, I am so entertained that I never, ever want to stop. Not even to sleep! In an effort to make my horrible addiction seem productive and valuable, I sometimes turn snippets of my actual conversations into comics like the one here before you on this day. It makes me feel good and creative and clever and funny, even though mostly it is just showing that I can make simple drawings of my friends who are funnier than I am.
Click on the comic below in order to get a better view of the subtle nuance of our expressions. If you look at it in real size, you’ll feel like you are there! You can imagine the sounds of my arching eyebrows, the smell of AlexT’s wine-soaked words, feel the weight of that last little punchline.