We all know that I’m no luckier in love than I am in cards. Without realizing at first, I’ve dated abusive men, racists, actual monsters. No less than three of my boyfriends have read my conversations with Amandoll. Two have punched furniture inches away from me. One punched me.
But none of that is very funny, and this post isn’t about my traumatic experiences with men who later stalk me. This post is about a more important thing: red flags in dating. I’ve compiled a list of urgent details to consider when considering that special someone.
August is Read a Romance Novel Month so we thought we’d sneak this one in right at the end!
Sneer Publishing is just around the corner, along with our other thousand new daily ideas. SP will debut with a box set of our first five romance novels that we’ll unleash to the world in a storm of paper and marketing. The box set will be limited edition, of course, with embossed covers and gilded page edges.
We won’t give too much away though, because we expect you to buy them at the full price of $749.99 for the set.
Around here, we always have lofty goals. We always have had lofty goals! On one such occasion, cchris and I decided for about five minutes that our time would be best spent as a writing POWERHOUSE duo for writing romance novels. I mean, we are both experts, and we have big ideas that should be lucrative. As you can see in this comic, things were actually going incredibly well, and we should write a little of it every day and then release a line of romance novels on Amazon’s self-publishing services. Isn’t that the dream? Isn’t that the reality of thousands of people? Thousands of MILLIONAIRES from their author career paths they’ve chosen. God I mean look at how well I’m writing today!
Clearly this is the best destiny I’ve got going. Click the comic, if necessary.
There’s plenty of fish in the sea, they say. You know what else the sea has a lot of? Plastic. Sharks. Pirates. Dead Bodies.
My problem, of course, is not with the analogy, but with the fact that life is hard and I hate trying.
We know that dating is the worst. So is internet dating. Where do these people even come from? I tell myself that it’s not so strange. I tell myself that if I use internet dating, so do other regular people [editor’s note: haha – Amandoll]. I tell myself that it’s 2016 and I do everything on the internet. I tell myself that I’ve met plenty of people through The Online, including Amandoll, Hoffman, Daniel Haun, Alext, Grogberries, and Cheston. I tell myself that I’ve met plenty of dates on there and they went just fine.
But oh, the ones that didn’t…