catz

Hello, I’m Amandoll and today we’re here to honor the world’s favorite miscellaneous underappreciated humor site on the internet, the one you are on right now: the Sneer Campaign. Maybe you’ll see long lost footage, never before seen material unless you follow us on Facebook, and references to your favorite articles. I really don’t know how this is going to turn out because who plans what they’re going to say? Apparently not me! So strap on your safety belts, readers, so that your pants don’t fly off with all of the excitement!

Sneer Campaign began as a brainchild of Dollissa and me, with reluctant support from cchris. We have told this story before, and probably a lot of what I’m about to say in the rest of this article, but sadly I don’t have all 499 other articles posted at this time memorized. This is a clip show anyway, so you didn’t come here expecting all fresh material. BUT how did three people from different parts of the world meet in the first place, you ask? Why, through the magic of Fate and the Internet, of course!

 

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Communities and cultures both small and large develop their own habits and traits. Along with their stories and traditions, superstitions tend to emerge. We are no different, of course.

When we say, “let’s post before 2 pm” it becomes almost inevitable that anything after that won’t get published until around 11:30 pm. We have to assume that any time we recruit a new writer, they will immediately get writer’s block for a few months or so. And god forbid you start your day by saying your Sneer work will be “easy.”

superstitious fools

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hennn

I may idealize chickens. My grandparents had some when I was very young, and I have no negative memories associated with that time and apparently that’s all it takes for me to form an opinion that will never, ever change. But I can’t be wrong about this because clearly, all chickens are wonderful.

Now that we have the Sneer HQ, there has been talk of maybe getting a few hens for the back yard. They could help us garden, I assume, and provide us with breakfast supplies. At the very least, there is a nearby park and community garden that has chickens on the premises, so I can visit them and listen to their inquisitive clucking as they ask who I am and why I am not throwing feed their way.Continue reading

31 YEARS OLD

The first documented instance of Dollissa Day was held in Sunrise, Florida, in 1986. Two cultures came together to celebrate this birth event of a teeny tiny Jewish-Puerto Rican baby who was no larger than a thimble. Her small size was a surprise to one and all because a C-section had been ordered. A humble granite marker will soon mark the operating room in which this miracle was performed, courtesy of the enthusiastic support of the entire population of the town.

Being an accomplished world traveler, several locations around the world have shrines dedicated to places where she has sat and complained, and to other places where she has fallen over and injured herself in seemingly impossible ways. From Natal to Las Vegas, including Turks and Caicos, Machu Picchu, Italy, and Israel, good people gather ’round to tell stories of her achievements, and boast of personal contact and interactions that they may have experienced.

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Fine, the mansion is haunted. What do you expect after over 100 years of history, occupants, and neighbors? But just like Casper, these ghosts are friendly as can be. They are more like our roommates at Sneer Headquarters. Although poltergeist originated as the German word for “noisy ghost” we don’t hear much from our ghostly friends and visitors.

The team of ghosts also doesn’t interact with each other, though I can’t imagine they don’t know about each other and maybe even routinely convene to discuss how strange the house’s living inhabitants are. Here are some of our best buddies at The Sneer Haunt.

Judy and Dollissa

 

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It is our anniversary again. That’s right! Already. We are starting our Third Year of Sneer and we’re glad you’ve all been here with us. As usual, we’re celebrating ourselves, how great we are, and the ultimate website for sneers and cheers, The Sneer Campaign.

Sneerer Madness

 

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life points

1904 was a truly glorious year, apparently! Not only is it the year in which Sneer HQ was built, but it is the year that gave the world Cary Grant. On January 18th of that year, a presumably handsome baby was popped into this world and given the unfortunate, ugly name of Archibald Leach. After some hard knock living that was common in early 1900s England, he ditched that name and gathered up all of his innate charms and burst onto the Hollywood scene.

Self-effacing, humorous, attractive, not always nice but always polite, effortlessly well-dressed, Cary Grant is known to have said of himself, “Everyone wants to be Cary Grant. Even I want to be Cary Grant.” Even *I* want to be Cary Grant. He also explained, “I pretended to be somebody I wanted to be until finally I became that person. Or he became me.” That’s some pretty strong life advice, Mr. Grant!

He went on to star in something like over seventy films, and I have only seen a dozen or so. Shame on me, I know. He was suited for screwball comedies, and today I have selected Bringing Up Baby for your activity, free of charge. In this movie, Grant plays a scatterbrained sort of paleontologist type of man whose life work is to assemble a Brontosaurus. He is meant to schmooze a man by the name of Mr. Peabody who represents a rich old lady who is interested in giving an endowment of one million dollars to a worthy cause. An outrageous series of mishaps follows as Grant encounters Katharine Hepburn who falls in love with him and ruins his relationship with his fiancé, his work in several different ways, and probably his entire life, but the movie ends before it really shows how far the damage extends. It is a load of laughs!

Enjoy the maze.

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Anyone who has enough money can jetset. And anyone who has the ability to save up for large expenses and has worked at their job long enough that they can have paid vacations can travel abroad can enjoy tourism in various places, for various reasons. And anyone who is like me can just pick up and stay with friends for weeks or months in any place where the friends live. I will tell you how!

get started

 

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Dear 2016,

A lot of things happened this year… during you, 2016. Yes, I will go ahead and anthropomorphize you because that’s all the rage these days. I will talk to you as though you were a living entity filled with whims and aspirations, as though you decided who lived or died all year long. 2016, you are god, I guess, to a lot of people, but a form of god that they aren’t (entirely) frightened of being publicly angry at for things you have seemingly maliciously decided to do. How dare you be a living breathing creature of some type!?

watch out

 

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