Do you have RFD-TV? Have you ever even heard of it? It is a television station devoted to rural living and rural concerns. I know you city slickers out there just scoffed out something like, “what, so like, shows about corn and tractors?” Yes. That’s actually exactly right. Throw in a little casual gospel music and perhaps talk of quilting, and that’s it. It is a wonder of a channel, let me tell you.

Back when I was a younger sort of person, I would visit my parents, or be living with them, depending on the year or month of that time of my life, I discovered this station and its outstanding, high-quality programming. Sometimes they would speak of corn — which is more interesting than you probably are willing to believe, and sometimes they would teach you how to teach horses. That was more interesting to me, although just as relevant to my day to day existence.

they all look the same

I didn’t really have a particularly favorite show, however. RFD-TV was like that strange channel that featured snippets and clips of audio visual “art.” You would just tune in and tune out, as they say (do they say that?), as you just vacantly watched footage of fields and a rural voice speaking. But then one magical day, I caught the Big Joe Polka Show. I was infected by the RFDTV BJPS Bug!

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brown chicken brown cow

My friend Jairo and I have a long-running inside joke into which I am about to invite you. We call it The Compilation. Let me give some back story. We are both former employees of a secondhand bookstore that shall remain nameless. Until a few years ago we had to choose “appropriate” music for store play via CDs for sale from our inventory. It was such a pain. Sometimes there was nothing that anybody really wanted to hear, so we would be forced to choose 5 lesser evils.

Sometimes we would be inundated by the Beatles, which in my unpopular opinion is utter torture. A lot of the time we had to listen to Pedo music. In layman’s terms it is called Doo-Wop and Motown. There are so many songs about teenage girls being pursued by adult men. How the hell is this acceptable? That’s fodder for another article. Eventually we got a satellite radio station we could listen to. It really wasn’t much better. It was just ok. One minute we would be hearing the wonderful bagpipes of “Under the Milkyway” by The Church, but then suddenly it would be some yodeling fool. I wish I were kidding.

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massive tunes

What would summer be without a playlist of summer jams? Music is an important part of a complete, balanced summertime, and we wouldn’t be caught DEAD without a soundtrack for our memories. Strap on your headphones or nail in your earbuds, whatever your preference, install Spotify if you haven’t already, and listen along with us. Then, in the future, any time you hear any of these songs, you can think fondly of us at Sneer Campaign, and how swell we were to try to make the summer of 2017 a brighter place for you and the whole wide world.

We love you.

 

 

Here at Sneer we often have moments that are hard in life, like anyone else. But luckily we’re surrounded by THINGS. Things that we love and make us happy. Things that connect us to each other. Things we can eat. This song is incomplete, of course. Good, catchy songs should only last about three minutes, and to list all of our faves would surely make a song that lasted hours. Maybe I could have done that, but also it becomes tiring trying to think of how to rhyme Secretariat and include Mr Rogers and.. and golly we sure do like a lot of things!

Click if you want and bonus extra funtimes below the image: the words and allll the links because an unlisted favorite thing is to create link cities in our articles. We’re so grateful, things!

 

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music to haunt to

 

Music makes moods. Everyone needs to get into the spirit of the season so we decided to scare up some holiday appropriate music for you! Now, a lot of this is not our normal listening pleasure. As it turns out, a lot of “Halloween Music” is goofy! Wacky songs describing absurd monster parties and little jaunty tunes about skeletons or whatever don’t really inspire a person with a thrill of terror suitable for the time. However, sometime in the past, it was decided that Halloween Music should be silly, and preferably some version of rockabilly. Call us crazy, but we don’t think the saxophone is a particularly ghostly instrument, but whatever.

So we have added some good old-fashioned Satanic music, and music that causes one to think of death and dying. It’s good to have a mix. Organs, harpsichords, waltzes, and lamentations feature in these songs. And also we included some popular hits, and Aleister Crowley. Who doesn’t love that guy? Listen with us.

 

While I am here in Las Vegas, I can’t help but have that ol’ Frank Sinatra on my mind. This was the known stomping ground of the legendary Rat Pack, and like them or love them or hate them or maybe don’t even know anything about them, they did exist.

frank sinatra

Whippersnappers, you have probably heard Frank Sinatra without even knowing it. Have you ever seen a little show called Married… with Children?? (probably not, if you already don’t know who Sinatra is). Well that’s his song as the theme song. Or that New York song about spreading the news. How about that one?

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Hi hi howdy hi hi, it’s another playlist and this time it’s all about us! It’s been a year, so we know our sound and it’s time that you do, too. We’ve got the beat and we know you can dance to the beat. This list makes our eyes lit, short breaths, dark lids because we like the music, we like the disco sound. While we write about our love for Bette Davis and Frank Sinatra (have you heard of them? They’re both dead. Dead), we need a certain song. When the blues have got us, and we’re making the tea with the petals, we want a space lounge interlude and to dance, dance, dance, dance. But mostly, we wanted to give you a playlist because oh, we care a lot, you pretty things. Don’t question the tracks we picked and don’t analyze it. It’s electric, it’s fantastic. But first, let us talk to you nice. Bear witness:

sneerlist

Every day and night, every day and ni i i ight, we try to make it magnificent. Some may think that we think we’re the queens of the neighborhood, that all the brothers want to eat this cake, but we’ve got a long, long ways to go before we can be your little honeybees. We know what’s up, we’re never at ease. We’ve got to amuse you, or lose you. We’re obsessed to the point that we don’t wanna see our friends. We work all night, we work all day, because we don’t sleep. Honeybees never sleep, but we should. We’ve got one thing on our minds and we don’t care; that’s just what it’s like when you’re only seen at night. We know we’re drivin’ our mamas and papas insane. It’s a dirty job, but someone’s gotta do it.

 

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Haha “minutes.” Who am I kidding? I have only had this game for a few days and it feels like I have done little else. Like Alphabears before it, Disco Bees is my game of choice for idling away my time as tick tock this time will never come back to me. Unlike Alphabears, there is very little about this game that feels like a brain exercise, though, so I can’t pretend to feel good about it.

I was compelled to get this app because something that combined bees, the best of insects, with disco, the most hilarious of music, had to be good. And it IS good. Sort of. You just match bees and achieve goals and try to reach a three gold star rating because why not. They provide you with a soundtrack of an eternal disco-like song. Game play lasts until you run out of lives for a session, which might take a hundred hours to do. Several times already, I have stopped playing due to fatigue. I didn’t know apps let that happen. I thought they were all designed to make you want to pay real human money in order to play just a little while longer. I’m not sure if I am complaining with this observation, but it does unsettle me somewhat.

After the first ten minutes, by the way, you will become fatigued with its soundtrack, which is repetitive and bland. It is disco in the loosest sense of the word: its beats tepid and uninspired, its tune unremarkable. It is the sort of disco a saltine cracker might make if it was forced to do so while in a state of great ennui. This music is an insult to bees everywhere! I’m a kind soul, however, and have taken it upon myself to recommend some music to play loudly while Disco Bee-ing.

disco bees

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A horse is a horse, of course. You can lead them to water but you may be disappointed. You shouldn’t look a gift one in the mouth, for whatever reason. Although, straight from the horse’s mouth is an ideal way to learn something. You can pee like a racehorse, or have to. There are horses of a different color. Don’t run before your horse to the market. Definitely don’t mess with the horse that was foaled of an acorn. Horse horse horse.

 

The wagon rests in winter, the sleigh in summer, the horse never.

The wind of heaven is that which blows between a horse’s ears.

Sneer Campaign Horse Playlist by Amanda Wood

Anyway, we’ve curated a horse-themed playlist below. It’s not a playlist of every song mentioning horses, but a playlist a long time in the making of some of our favorite, and some of the best, horse songs around (or, more likely, horse metaphor songs). The prevalence of pony-related songs is not because we are pre-teen girls, but because they’re fantastic. Listen with us! The playlist is below, and I recommend playing this one with shuffle!

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I have spoken of my enjoyment of and experimentation with sleeping to the ambient sounds of certain things offered on Youtube. One day, I again found myself perusing the vast and baffling selection on there and I shared this particular finding with my longtime friend, Kevin. He and I had not discussed this interest of mine before, and I was delighted and then dismayed to find that he, too, has opinions about this genre of sound. He came at me with some pretension, sweet readers! Sure, that overwrought description wasn’t his own wording, but he DID quote it at me, and he even put in a “[sic]” note. Also the fact that he immediately thought of this track… are these tracks? No. I guess they are audio experiences. He probably had a dozen other youtube sounds that he also thought of, but this is the one we get.

And as an added bonus, you get to be exposed to two wonderful new sleepy videos! Truly, we are all #blessed.

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