I had a dream not so long ago that I was in a very nice but strange house that was hosting a casual sort of cocktail party. I found a study and tried to use the phone to call someone to come to get me, but, as usual, couldn’t remember any phone numbers or dial correctly. After a while, Carl Sagan came into the room. I was in his house! He explained to me that we live simultaneous lives across many, many realities and even though you might die in some of them, you still live on in others. He also mentioned that when we sleep, sometimes we dream, and sometimes we just visit other realities, and that I wasn’t exactly dreaming here, in this dream. All of the explanations included nifty graphics. And he wasn’t very old, so there was talk about the way timelines work or something. He was very nice. I was given snacks.

In celebration of this, my very real religious experience, and in celebration of Carl Sagan’s birthday (November 9th of every year), I have drawn him as every one of the Sailor Scouts. From Sagan Mercury to Sagan Pluto, he inspires us, protects us, and brings us peace in our daily lives.

A true hero.

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This is about a beautiful show that we will never forget, over before its time. Happy Endings only lasted 3 seasons, but was definitely one of the best sitcoms to ever be on television.

The show got off to a rocky start with its boring premise. That premise, which also features the two worst characters, is that they, Dave and Alex, were about to get married. Instead, Alex runs off with a guy who rollerblades up to them and leaves Dave behind to bore all of his way cooler friends. When Alex comes back, they all hang out, and Happy Endings, the sextet of comedy that we will cherish forever, is born.

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If you’ve been living under a rock, you may not have seen the new X-Files teaser trailer.

That’s right, the smoking man is back! Along with Scully and Mulder, everyone’s favorite supernatural crime-fighting duo. Director Skinner is back! Even the original creator is back!

That’s right, Chris Carter, who showed us how great it can be when a creator stays and nurtures the show through its full run (RIP Community), now gets to show us what a proper revival is like. If you love X-Files like we do, you know how important he was to the show, in a way that not all creators are. We salute you Chris Carter!

No word yet on whether the lone gunmen will make an appearance, but here’s hoping.

I Want To Believe by Amanda Wood

See you January 24, 2016, X-Files!

The banks are closed, mail isn’t running, federal employees get to stay home – that’s right, it’s another Monday-observed holiday, but this one is wonderful!

Columbo Day is when families gather around their televisions to marathon-watch episodes of Columbo on Netflix, YouTube, or from your personal collection of the complete Columbo DVDs! We are slowly going to introduce the next tradition over the next twenty-four years: the Columbo Discovers America coloring book, one page released per year.

Spoiler: In the end, America actually discovers Columbo, and everyone’s lives are improved dramatically. Happy coloring! Click to enlarge the picture and for printing!

 

Columbo Discovers America by Amanda Wood

If you haven’t seen this year’s best new show, and Hulu’s very first actually good original show, go to Hulu right now and start watching Difficult People. The show has 8 episodes so far, as of this post. It is already renewed for a second season, because all is right in the world. However, today’s post is this season’s finale. Here’s to Difficult People!

Difficult People by Amanda Wood

The show stars Billy Eichner as Billy Epstein and Julie Klausner as Julie Kessler. They talk about pop culture and are fiercely loyal to one another, as friends should do and be. It seems like nothing in the world is more important to them than posting online and hanging out with each other. Billy Eichner is one of my favorite comedians. I love everything about him. When the show was first announced, I was pretty much already obsessed. Julie Klausner is not someone I had previously known about, but now I love her too.

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Often I have considered attending graduate school. There are few degrees that I would be interested in, such as Library and Information Sciences, or Publishing. But what I would really, truly want to study for too many hours a day and several more years of my life probably isn’t offered anywhere.

Here are some things that I would go all-in for, along with an example thesis I might choose. I’d even do my homework. In fact, if these programs were offered somewhere, I’d probably go back to school for all four, then hide away in a tiny house in Amandoll’s yard using my degrees by muttering to myself and my cats and a cardboard cutout of Harry Solomon.

Scornell University by Amanda Wood

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We know you miss Broad City as much as we do and can’t wait for whenever it starts again, so we’re here to help.

Whether your favorite  part of this scene was Abbi’s remarkable Drew Barrymore impression, the blood leaking from her mouth, or Ilana’s weed delivery to their moving taxi, we hope this satisfies all your Broad City needs. Every single one of them.

Click to enlarge.

Broad City Coloring Page

In my perfect dream world, legendary children’s show Sesame Street would be populated by old time movie stars parodying themselves outlandishly. I think I would have learned better lessons, and learned them better, if it had been this way. Are children supposed to identify with or look up to a fuzzy green monster with a bad attitude? Well maybe they do, but a magically re-animated Greta Garbo would have gotten the job done with so much more melodramatic class.

If I ever get a wish-granting monkey paw, this will be the reality of children’s television programming.

As always, click to see it in the full size. (You can see the other example of Greta in imaginary kids television in our Yo Garbo Garbo post.)

Garbo Street

You know how there are words out there for highly specific emotions? Like adronitis, the frustration over how long it takes to get to know someone. Or liberosis, the desire to care less about things. Is there a word for that feeling you get when you believe that there must be alternate realities that exist closely in space to your own reality, so close that they are ALMOST your reality, and that reality is that your real dad is cartoon buffoon Hong Kong Phooey? Does that even make sense? Great.

Well, since I was a very small child, I have had this feeling occasionally. And as I’ve aged, the feeling has lessened a bit, but it’s still there inside of me, shaping my personality to some extent.

Unlike other forms of insanity I probably have, this one can be traced directly to my mother. For as long as I’ve lived, my mother has always told this story about how she and some of the rest of my extended family took my older brother, then an only child, to see a Hanna-Barbera Icecapades show. While there, Hong Kong Phooey apparently took a liking to her and showed his ardor by sitting on her lap and dragging her from the audience to dance with her in front of everyone. She concludes this oft-told story by saying, “And then, nine months later, Amanda was born.”  Everyone laughs. Everyone always laughs. But once upon a time, I believed her. I was too young to understand that my mom might be kidding, but apparently old enough to catch the implication that Hong Kong Phooey was my real dad.

It turns out that if you start life thinking that you are half-cartoon, it kind of sticks with you, there in the middle, for all of the rest of your life. I mean, I know I am not actually a half-cartoon! Don’t send me to the asylum yet. Anyway, it would clearly have been an actor dressed up like Hong Kong Phooey, not the real poorly-animated dog. It would be like thinking that Santa and Mall Santas are the same thing. No! Regardless, in my idle time, I start to wonder what my alternate reality life must be like, the one where HKP was not an absentee father. Let’s look at my art therapy session.

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