In today’s vernacular, sometimes Feminism can be a dirty word. To others, it’s a thing of hope — the ideology and expectations of a future generation on its shoulders. But even amongst those followers there are divisions — schisms in a movement so massive it can’t help but crack under the heavy weight of its inertia. But for the survival of this phenomenon to be ensured,  one thing must stay true: Feminism must be intersectional. Also, I’d really like it if they brought back those 3D Doritos.

faminism

 

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vote for

Ken, one of four quintuplets, was born March 19, 1994 in the neighbourhood of South Boston. He was raised in a small wood-panel home with three sisters. His father, Frank Bonesworth, affectionately known to friends as “Bones” was a hunter with no formal education. His mother Anna, was a stay-at-home carer to her children. Both parents came from 6th-generation South Boston families. He attended the prestigious Academie de Collier, working as a hunter alongside his father during vacation. After graduating in 2000, Ken became an apprentice hunter.

 

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Normally I make a point of it to not cover ground that has already been covered to death. I just don’t mess with it. I know many of you are saying, “But the internet has a million seduction guides up already.” That much is true. They are all well and good, or not so good, and could probably net you a person of average ability, appearance, and expectation, if they are among the better variety. Fine if you are into that kind of thing. Personally, I’m not much for child’s play. So while the other guides might get you some ass, I’m here to get you some class.

Now I’m not giving you ALL of my secrets here. It isn’t fair to the women of the world for me to unleash an army of men they have no ability to resist. Sorry guys, you ain’t leaving with a full stomach, but I ain’t so mean that I’m not going to throw you some scraps. These tips will help you get a leg up, possibly a second leg up, but it is up to you as to whether or not you get that third leg up. As for the rest of you with the manly gender as a target, I am sure these same suggestions can work for you. Hell, any human being of any orientation seeking any other being can probably use this guide just fine. However, I can only really speak for my own self − and I have no complaints.

get it get it

 

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In the age-old debate about things vs. experiences, we happen to take no sides because it makes no sense. But aren’t things great? Without things like laptops or newspaper comics, we wouldn’t have ever met. Without things like celebrity magazines and coloring books, we might not have a website.

And the things that we’ve acquired since! Oh man, we have Jewelbots, so that we can alert each other to every minute detail of our day and of our internet behavior. We have a house so we can garden, fill rooms with calendars, never stop drinking coffee, and make sock puppets of each other.

Our lives would improve immeasurably with any of these products. Feel free to buy any or all of them and send them straight to Sneer House.

get us this clock

 

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This VR thing is finally taking off but that doesn’t mean I’m going to be easy to please, now or ever. It’s probably going to be a few years before the technology is as realistic as I want it to be, but I already want it to be the best, now. Right now! I would hold out for a holodeck, since current VR headsets look cool and all, but they are hard to reconcile with all of my Star Trek assumptions about the real world. But I’m not going to hold out because quick make these games.

Forget horror games and porn. Forget the immersive action gaming experience some people have been waiting for. Forget the interaction with people you know or don’t know, anyone at all. Here’s what I really want from virtual reality.

Dollissa VR by Amanda Wood

 

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So Black Mirror is gross and weird sometimes and obviously none of us are going to watch all of it. My loving roommate watched some episodes of the new season first, then let me know what was worth checking out. I didn’t get past the first episode because omg.

This episode is called Nosedive and it’s The Dream. It’s my understanding that Black Mirror is kind of a set of oh-no what-if episodes about futuristic things and therefore we’re not supposed to get excited about living in that particular reality. And, to be fair, this episode doesn’t have a happy ending for the protagonist. But who cares about her? There’s over 7 billion other people on Earth probably having a great time.

Black Mirror on Netflix: Rate Me

 

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Google.com. Bing.com. Tumblr.com. With names as stupid as these, we must have run out of truly worthy website names a long time ago, right? Right? NUH-to-the-motherfucking-UH. Our crack Sneer Investigationist Team went under deep internet cover to discover the shocking truth about the websites that everyone assumes are taken: that the only barrier to website success is our failure to dream hard enough and reach for the internet stars.

saxon

 

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I’m going to just come out and bluntly say it: We of the sneer campaign are depressed a lot. We are a lot of things, I guess. But in between bouts of anxiety, euphoria, rage, and “feeling kind of normal, I think?” we are just plain old sad. Well, Dollissa and I have this problem, I guess the contributors and Junior Sneerists might not be constant messes, but I wouldn’t be surprised if they were just like us. Really, I figure most people, in their quiet times, have many of the issues we have.

And here I am, in the midst of another depression. How many have I had? How many more can there possibly be? Sometimes, I can’t tell if I am really sad, or just extremely melodramatic. Each time seems to get worse and worse but enough about me. What can we, collectively, DO about all of this sadness that not just I am having? I’ll tell you what we OUGHT to do. We should just stop feeling sad. Heck, let’s do away with all of the bad emotions, too! Fury, jealousy, insecurity, unreasonable panic, hate – throw those right out the door. And come to think of it, it’s really no use only feeling the happy, good emotions. Without the contrast of the bad things, good won’t seem as good as it is. And, besides, feeling good creates a pendulum effect where you are meant to swing back and feel an equal amount of bad. It’s a balance. It’s nature. So let’s just stop feeling.

stop feeling

I hear you wondering some things. Some things like, “but aren’t emotions good? Even the bad ones?” Nah. Thinking they are is a sort of Stockholm Syndrome, I’m sure. Luckily for you, I have put on my lab coat here in the laboratory, and have gotten out my clipboard – so I mean some serious science business here. All of your questions AND MORE will be answered while I have the energy to tappity-tap away at my keyboard for a few minutes. I’d encourage you to get excited and to expect relief, but this is a new day. A new era. We’ll have no more of that. No more looking forward to things because things are already okay. You’ll understand soon.

 

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We may not know a lot about cchris, but one of the things we DO know is that he has at some point consistently claimed that his birthday is August 3rd. Maybe this means something to those of you who are astrologically minded, but to us, it mostly means that it is the day that we talk to him about the ravages of aging. We don’t really know what he looks like, but at this point he probably has little crinkles at his eye corners. Is there greying in his hair? Does he have hair? He just might really be an ethereal wisp of snark and malice for all we know, but he is a surprisingly vain one. If he is a chatbot in real life, he was programmed to find the passage of time to be cruel. If every other thing about him is a lie, at the very least his displeasure at the idea of growing old and eventually dying seems to be authentic.

 

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