Why Pay More?? Haircuts for the Discerning Poor Person

Get a haircut, ya dang hippie! Really though. Hair keeps growing every single day and it doesn’t even stop after you’re dead, according to popular trivia that might or might not be true. While Amandoll keeps her hair short because she can’t stand the touch of loose hair on her neck, I sometimes can go months, years without bothering. I’m not growing it out for a wig or anything, I just have better things to do.

Every once in a while, however, I reach a point where it’s just gotta go. Or I suddenly have hair motivation and am able to get to a pair of scissors before it fades away again and I become distracted by all of the more interesting things in life, which is apparently almost everything else. I’m even writing this article instead of getting the haircut that I need! Oh well!

hair

The Ol’ Razzle Dazzle

If you are timid or faint of heart, maybe you desire to seek professional help. Okay, fine, go to a salon you jerk. I guess they’ve gone to school and have practical experience, not that that necessarily means anything. I have for sure seen my fair share of bad cuts from so-called Great Clips. Wherever you go, make sure to ask ahead of time how much it will cost, because it can get real pricey real fast. The last time I had my hair done at one it was $125, not including the tip! The hairdresser guy then followed me home, but that’s a story for another time.

 

The Friends

Make them do it! It’s just hair. As I said earlier, hair continues to grow all day long. If you look “”bad”” (whatever that means) on day one, by day five you’ll look great. It is how the world works. Grab one of your art-minded friends, or an architect in my experience, and hand them some scissors. You can also grab more than one friend for a weird haircut-by-committee thing if you want. Get creative, get three scissors for three friends or four scissors for two friends and set up a race challenge. Get drunk. Have a dance party between snips. Make memories. They’ll last longer than your haircut.

 

yooo

The Mirror

Do it yourself! It’s just hair. The header is a lie, you’ll need two mirrors! Arrange them so that you can see the back of your head. It’s hard and you will be sure that you’ve messed up your look, but do I need to say that this is only hair again? Because it is and you’ll live. Additionally, you get better over time as you understand how to navigate the back of your head by reflection. This makes for a nice party trick, as does juggling mirrors and scissors all at once.

 

No Mirror

Do it by feel! The way the loneliest caveman did, deep within his cave surrounded by inventions millennia ahead of their time, including scissors but not including a mirror. Amandoll has had to cut her hair by feel numerous times. It sounds like a legend, but it is true. If your hair comes out looking choppy or raggedy, just say that’s the look you’re going for. Sometimes people believe it!

 

gtfo

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