I’m Not Going to Click Your Link

Wow. Cool. Haha. Omg. Awesome.

The truth is, I didn’t click on your link at all. I’m sorry, but this had to be done and it’s about time I told you. You see, I just don’t care. You send me links every day, and I guess you haven’t figured it out, but I’m not interested. You can stop sending them anytime you want.

Just because I’m online doesn’t mean I’m not busy. And just because I’m chatting with you, doesn’t mean that I can watch your favorite video of that guy from that movie saying a line from his other movie and then he giggles. Or that I want to, for that matter. Why would I care that you liked something?

Does it even align with my interests? Do you know what those are? It’s not endless cat videos, which you are showing me all the time. Now my Facebook timeline looks like I’m obsessed with cats! (Ignore the photos of my actual cats I guess.)

A drawing of Amandoll and Dollissa scowling at you. Amandoll is looking up in a frustrated way from a blank sheet of paper. Dollissa is looking up, annoyed, from her book. Above them is the caption "Too Busy Forever."

Do you even know me? Did you think that these Japanese girls vogueing was going to really excite me? Did you think that all I’ve been missing in my life is this documentary about DMT? Did you think that I would watch in awe as a semi rolls over across a highway or a duck follows a cat around as if the cat is its mother? Okay, maybe the duck one. (Actually, does anyone have a link for that?)

More importantly, I am not interested in watching. I’m not interested in what it’s about, and I’m certainly not interested in watching a video. If I’m going to watch a “moving picture” it will be a cartoon or sitcom, or it will be the music video to Baby’s on Fire by Die Antwoord for the thousandth time.

I just don’t have time to watch your clip or your gif or your favorite rap video. I’m not going to click on your link now, and I’m not going to do it later either. Now if you don’t mind, I’m going to go post on a 15 year old message board all night.

Happy 10th Anniversary YouTube!

Sneer Back

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