POLICE SEEK “MYSTERY MAN” AFTER SLEW OF FAIRGROUND DISASTERS

Today was a day of disaster and mayhem at the county fairgrounds. One catastrophe after another plagued merrymakers in what at first seemed to be a random and unrelated chain of events. But now law enforcement officers are connecting them all to one suspect, seen above.

Here is a collection of saddening headlines featured on the front pages of many esteemed newspapers across the land:

It was a seemingly normal day at the county fair. Hundreds of people surged through the midway, seeking perhaps to play games or win prizes — possibly they were only there to make memories with friends or family. But that was where things went terribly wrong.

The roller coaster with a design for death. Bumper cars magically gaining sentience with malicious intent. A fun slide turning into a twist of mangled bodies. A flurry of accidents — or murder plots? Innocent people have been lost and the peace innumerable lives once knew has now been destroyed, possibly forever.

The monster is still on the loose! Feel free to try to find the deranged madman some reports have named “Waldo” here.