We have a lot of fears. Some make sense; others, not so much. This latter type will be featured once monthly until we run out of material, at which point, we might begin accepting the fears of our readers.
On June 6th of the year 2017, I gave a mercifully sweet description of why I am afraid to fry food. In this comic, the one seen right above this paragraph, I show an egg turning me into a scar covered blind person, but in the article, I mention the delicious Cincinnati-German food called goetta.
For those of you not in the know, goetta is a sort of sausage that also has steel cut oats in it. It has a certain blend of herbs and spices that makes it taste unique, and it is pretty much only eaten in this city — I don’t think it’s been in Germany since the 1800s. Their loss!! It’s great and unhealthy, I imagine, and also pops just OUTRAGEOUSLY in the pan. The little oats rocket across the room, sometimes several feet in any direction. So, I stand across the room as it cooks.
But ladies and gentlemen, our very own Dollissa — a person who used to scoff at my fear — got popped right on the eyelid the other day!!
That’s so close to her actual eye! And I bet she was even wearing glasses! I just wanted to let you all know that not only do I feel vindicated, but also a whole new other person has picked up this very rational fear, too.
Feel free to join us in our certain cowardice.
I got a mark like that from an exacto knife blade that snapped off while I was trying to cut a whole in a ridiculously fortified iphone box. I wasn’t wearing any safety goggles so it was a good thing I blinked. It wasn’t related to an irrational fear but an irrational confidence that continued uninterrupted by near blinding.