I like my comedy scripted and rehearsed please. Improvisation is best left for jazz, freestyle rap, and Twitter.

Watching a group of people try to come up with some jokes that amuse the audience, or probably just themselves, will just leave you embarrassed for anyone in attendance. Frankly, there is only so much embarrassment that I can feel in one day, and I already dress like a five year old who closed my eyes while choosing my outfit.

The people who do improv are part of the problem, of course. They’re the same people who will interrupt your jokes with a worse punchline, and the same people who will attend a party as a “character” while really just making me want to murder everyone I see. Now, my apologies to anyone who graduates from improv comedy into something amazing, like a real, scripted television show. Shout out to yall for becoming funny and doing it in a way that doesn’t make my skin crawl.

Even when I watch a scripted, heavily written, edited, and rehearsed show, I think they could have spent longer on some lines. There’s almost always some small improvement.

Improv classes are , supposedly, for helping professionals or whoever be more creative. Of all the things, they want to associate their goal-setting or public speaking workshop with improv. Seems like you’d basically just be paying to attend someone’s improv preparation, or just their performance, really.

And if I want someone surprising me with poor attempts at humor, or even worse, very poor attempts at subtle humor, I will go to a fringe festival. But I do not want that, so if it continues to POP UP at me in department stores and subway cars, I may have to never leave my home. Hunker down, Judy, we’re in here for the long haul.