My Friend’s Great-Grandfather, Ryan Gosling

Breaking news! This just in! Stop the presses, stop EVERY press! We have made the discovery of the century: Ryan Gosling, famous actor, is in fact really a secret time-traveler who is moonlighting as an actor! And what is more: he is the great-grandfather of my very own real life actual living breathing friend, another Amanda!

I will cool it with the exclamation points, but I refuse to calm down.

This other Amanda, whom I have been close to since the year 1988, did not realize that her great-grandfather was Ryan Gosling until very recently when she showed us a photograph of him in his “younger days.” I wish her great-grandmother was still alive so that we could ask her if her husband ever acted strangely, accidentally using terms and lingo from now-times, although she would not realize that is what he was doing. And I would like to ask Ryan Gosling-now how he is doing this. When does he find the time to time travel? Does it ever weird him out to know that he apparently grows old and dies in these other lives? How many alternate lives in history is he currently living? Is the Ryan Gosling we THINK we know actually from the future? Or from the past and has been to the future and is using future knowledge in order to be “lucky” in show biz? What is even happening I’m scared to think about all of this!

I am sure you all want to see what it is that has got me all whirled up in a tizzy, so here it is: THE PICTURE.

Time Gosling


Incredible. Good job having such a great great-grandad, Friend Amanda. But too bad you can never think of Ryan Gosling in the same way, filled with romantic notions, again.

Sneer Back

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