If you have been keeping meticulous track of our lives, which you should be, you already know that Sneer Campaign Headquarters is located in Covington, Kentucky, across the Ohio River from Cincinnati, BUT ALSO across the Licking River (slurrrp) from Newport. So you might be confused as to why I am suddenly talking like I’m on Newport’s board of tourism, enticing you to sample its culture and fine, fine arts.

Newport is a nice city. It is surprisingly small, because all of the cities essentially blend together, so it wound up being less area space than I thought. But it is the history that sets it apart from the others. Newport was once “Little Mexico” — a city of vices and corruption and tommy guns and 1920s brothels and speakeasies and all of that jazz. It was a big time! And I like history and chatting to friends and that’s how we get today’s entertainment made just for you.

Welcome Aaron in his very first comic. We’ve been chatting for 900 years, but it took an iconic strip dive to bring out some illustratable laughs. Click this image in order to examine the seediest panels I have ever drawn, and probably to be able to read it at all.

Let me be defensive for a moment, by the way: I should have known that this business is still open in modern times. For some reason, though, I thought it had closed down decades ago. The good news is that I now have one more thing to add to the list of glorious reasons to move to us, to our neck of the woods.