Voodoo Love Spells for 2017

As someone who is not a practitioner of magick, my experience lies mostly with pop culture. However, from that, it’s pretty clear that you are not supposed to do love spells. They come with heaps of warnings, implications of “you’ll get what you deserve,” and laced with the irony of a Disney movie wish. Why does it come up so often? Because those are the spells everyone wants to do, obviously.

But in this day and age, you probably can’t use those old-timey love spells to enchant a handkerchief or to seal a spell with your very first kiss ever. You’ll have to update your witchery to the modern era for these, so get out your smartphone and your social media accounts, your sage, and your love/lust/obsession.

voodoo cupid

Here are some spells that you can maybe use on the object of your desire:


Constant Contact Spell

This spell is to keep you on the mind of your one true love. They will think about you so much that they also won’t be able to stop themselves from messaging and sexting you all day long. That’s what you want, right?

Tools: smartphone, red candle, 5 flower petals

Ritual: Find a place in your home where you can sit undisturbed. Put your phone and the candle with enough space around it to place the petals. The phone should be on your left, closer to your heart. Place the flower petals around the phone and candle, spaced equally apart, in a circle or pentagram pattern. Open your phone to a photo of The One (preferably their current FB profile photo), then light the candle. Repeat the following once, then collect the petals onto the photo. Say it a second time and blow out the candle.

“oh divine one, let me offer you this gift,
of petals soft and flames tough,
to grant me the words i need”


Haunted Memory Spell

Keep yourself on their mind, forever. They’ll have to either love you or, well… Don’t worry about it.

Tools: Instagram, quartz, two white candles, sage, lock of their hair

Ritual: Take the lock of hair and mix it with the sage. In a small bowl, light it on fire. While it burns, whisper the following to yourself, wafting the smoke toward your face. Go to their Instagram on your phone (or look at any photo of them), light both candles next to the bowl of ashes.Wave the quartz in the smoke of each candle and whisper the quote again for each candle. Leave the quartz in a glass of water overnight and let each candle burn out. The next morning, Instagram a picture of the glass of water, then drink it.

“me, myself, and i
me, myself, and i
me, myself, and i
always on their mind”


Love Bubble Spell

This spell will help keep their eyes only on you. Just perform this one and the fates will make sure that any messages from the exes of your one true desire never arrive and instead go into the abyss that is the internet. The object of your affection will only receive your affection, digitally.

Tools: smartphone, cloth, coin or rock, 2 white candles

Ritual: Put your smartphone facedown on your floor, covered with a cloth, towel, or napkin. On top, place a coin or rock (if you collect them by any chance, those meaningful ones will work more powerfully). Put one candle on each side of your phone. Repeat the following twice, then text the person you are putting the spell on. Light both candles and leave them until they go out naturally. You can move the candles to a safer place after the text, and you can take your phone.

“god of tinder, love and zen,
grant me every word from them,
put my name inside their heart,
keep the other ones apart”


Netflix and Spell

Want your chill to last?

Tools: any candle, Netflix

Ritual: Before the date or the “chill sesh” make sure to light a candle and let it burn just enough to take some wax. Take a small part of the wax and put that in your pocket or purse after putting out the flame. Keep it with you during your date. When it’s over, light the candle again and chant the following twice. Discard the wax.

“love goddess hear me beg,
like this flame and this stream,
flicker, twist, and flow,
let this last, renew”



Sneer Back

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.