It’s a different kind of life, when you’re obsessed with Amandoll. There is a lot of upkeep and foresight and you have to plan certain things well in advance to make sure you have enough time to obsess. You have to make sure she tells you everything going on and you have to make sure that she knows every detail of your day. You need to surround yourself in all things Amandoll.
Since it’s Amandoll week, I have recorded this entry in my diary for you all, so that you can see the work that goes into it. So that you can see that Amandoll is my morning and my evening, the cream in my coffee, my friend til the end.
8:00 AM: First Work Alarm – wake up (from Amandoll dreams) next to some drawings by Amandoll, say “hhh” to her on FB messenger, fall asleep
8:20 AM: Second Work Alarm – check Snapchat, send some to Amandoll (and Saxon), fall asleep
8:40 AM: Third Work Alarm – wake up for real next to the shrine− i mean drawings, tell Amandoll that i’m going to “shower power”
9:10 AM: Leave Apartment – tell Amandoll that i’m leaving my apartment, send a picture of my cats and my outfit, check Sneermail
9:17 AM: Leave Café – leave café painted by Amandoll, send snaps to Amandoll of my walk, listen to playlists made by her
9:26 AM: Get on Train – get dirty looks from the lady conductor because i’m too busy fiddling with Pokémon Go and Spotify to remember where my ticket is (the dude conductor is nice to me and knows i have a monthly pass), tell Amandoll which conductor it was
9:37 AM: The Secret – try to use the secret to further Amandoll’s career and happiness
9:45 AM: Arrive to NYC – tell Amandoll i’m in NYC, send pictures of my walk to her, describe the heat
10:03 AM: Arrive at Work – tell Amandoll that i’m at work and how much work i have to do, sit down by some of her art
10:15 AM: Settle in at Work – tell Amandoll the list of things i’ll do that day and how often i’ll be able to talk to her
11:35 AM: Think About Lunch – tell Amandoll that i should eat lunch, have more coffee, tell Amandoll how much coffee i’ve had
11:55 AM: Shhhhh – whisper Amandoll-related hopes and fears into an empty room
12:01 PM: Think About Lunch 2 – ask Amandoll about everything she’s eaten that day, mention i should eat lunch
2:00 PM: Woops, Lunch – tell Amandoll that i forgot to order lunch still and that i’m very hungry, then order it
2:35 PM: Sneer Post – review today’s post, tell Amandoll to add tags, post it, tell Amandoll how great the tags are
2:55 PM: Finally, Lunch – eat and talk to Amandoll, tell her about my morning and lunch
3:00 PM: Facebook – like Amandoll’s share of today’s sneer post, check 7 different sneer calendars
3:10 PM: Last Coffee – tell Amandoll that it’s my last coffee of the day and that i should drink more water, get water
3:25 PM: Sneer Panic – tell Amandoll how many people have viewed the site today, threaten to kill myself
3:26 PM: Facebook Share – share today’s post on fb, tell Amandoll, have more coffee
4:00 PM: Sneer Shrug – tell Amandoll that slightly more people have viewed the site today, send her a screenshot of stats, relax
5:00 PM: Celebration – only an hour left at work! announce to Amandoll
5:01 PM: Imagination Station – imagine that Amandoll is famous, still a recluse
5:05 PM: Work Panic – oh no there’s so much work still left to do! panic to Amandoll, check sneer calendars on trello instead
5:55 PM: Sneer Panic 2 – tell Amandoll that barely more people have viewed the site, threaten to kill both of us
6:01 PM: Leave Work – tell Amandoll i left work, start catching Pokémon again
6:21 PM: Train Leaves – jump on train last-minute and tell Amandoll about it and how sweaty i am, listen to Amandoll’s playlists on Spotify
6:45 PM: Walk Home – get off train and tell Amandoll, put phone away for 2 blocks, then collect from 3 Pokéstops
6:58 PM: Arrive at Home – snapchat my roommate to Amandoll, tell her i’m home, get on computer to talk to her faster
7:06 PM: Do Nothing – tell Amandoll i’m going to sneer, post on tabb instead, tell her i posted, watch tv
7:08 PM: TV Time – tell Amandoll what i’m watching on tv, send videos of me watching it on snapchat
7:30 PM: Work on Sneers – work on sneers, admit to Amandoll that i just started
8:15 PM: Dinner Time – realize that i haven’t written anything, eat dinner, tell Amandoll what I ate
8:40 PM: Snapchat – send snaps to everyone, too many to Amandoll
8:44 PM: The Secret 2 – send out good vibes into the universe or something
9:00 PM: TV Time Still – tell Amandoll what i’m watching on tv now, describe it in detail without being asked
9:15 PM: Snapchat 2 – send response snaps
9:16 PM: Spaceout – check sneer stats, check sneer trello boards, report back to Amandoll
9:47 PM: Huh? – what have i been doing this whole time? ask Amandoll
10:04 PM: It’s Always TV Time – update Amandoll on tv show
10: 15 PM: Sleep Time – decide i should go to sleep, tell Amandoll, open 14 articles
10:41 PM: Sleep Delay – forget i was supposed to sleep, tell Amandoll about all the articles i’m reading
11:05 PM: Sleep Panic – tell Amandoll I should go to bed, “ack”
11:30 PM: Fall Asleep – dream of Amandoll, get closer to waking up and seeing her again
