Animals I’d Like to Train, Hypothetically, Part 2

As seen on YouTube, you can seemingly train any animal to do anything. Sort of. At least the animals on YouTube appear to do adorable things on purpose. I don’t know if that’s necessarily training.

I have previously written about training my furry friends in this post, but that was not enough animals.

Animal Training



In some more rural areas, or just where they’re more available and lawns exist, you can rent goats to trim your lawn. In a lot of those areas, though, you can have a pet goat. So why bother with the rentals? (Actually, the rule where Sneer HQ is, is that you’d have to have two, which is great and adorable.) Goats are great for a lot of other reasons though, like how cute they are. I’d hope to train mine to open the gates for me and Amandoll when we arrive home. The perfect welcome.



I assume that snakes are just the reptilian version of ferrets and are mischievous, silly, and kind of a menace. I wouldn’t want any that I’d have to feed mice to, as I’d already have a lot of friend mice that I have trained, but vegetarian or cricket eating snakes are fine. GUARD SNAKES. Imagine breaking into a house to rob it and being met with 14 large snakes hanging around the house?


I know hummingbirds are wild creatures, but hear me out. I have seen plenty of evidence on the internet that they are cooperative with human beings, even following people inside and befriending dogs! I would love to have a little legion of hummingbirds who come out to greet me every morning when I change the sugar water out of their numerous feeders. They can make little chipping sounds in a seemingly annoyed fashion as they cavort in the spray of the hose while we water plants. They can fetch tiny flowers and bring them to us. They can alight on our extended pinky fingers as we sip tea. Exquisite.


Chickens are so great that I will have to divide this into sections. The internet has informed me that they like hugs, no training required, and that is a perfect foundation on which to build exactly the kind of life I dream of living. A lifestyle that is built on the foundation of chicken-having is the life for me.


We do a lot of gardening at Sneer HQ and most seeds should be put right under that dirt. If our chicken friends could just peck some holes for us to drop the seeds in, we could garden as a happy feathered family.

More Gardening, Really

Also, it would be great if they could pick weeds for us? Maybe there’s some way we could encourage them to pull certain plants while they run around the yard. It would be super helpful and would also give them something to do with all that free time.

Ringing Different Bells to Tell Us Things

Ding ding! The squirrels are back to damage the garden. Ring ring! It’s about to storm and we’re ready to go into our quaint mobile coop or better yet into the house. Ding dong! We miss you please come out and hug us. So many possibilities. All of them wonderful.

Sneer Back

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