Some people hate mayonnaise. People hate it with such passion not usually reserved for condiments. I’ve never seen someone scream in a pub after having some mustard drip on their hand, and I’ve never knew someone who freaked out at a café for the workers automatically putting ketchup on a sandwich. I’m sure it’s happened, somewhere, at some point, but surely not at the frequency as it does for mayo.

I’m a pretty big fan of it, though. Mayonnaise is an almost-mandatory condiment, a delight to any sandwich it’s added to. Below I have provided two recipes. One delicious and fun, one is just tomatoes dipped in mayonnaise. If you don’t really like mayo, I recommend reading the broccoli salad recipe anyway, because I think you might be surprised!

Broccoli Salad

I had broccoli salad once at Amandoll’s childhood home and it was magical. I had never had it before. I thought it was totally made up but I guess it’s a thing that exists and now you can eat it for yourselves. It may not be as good as that inspirational day, but it’ll be good. And it won’t really be greasy! The title of the post is a lie.

Ingredients:

5 cups broccoli
½ cup chopped almonds, nuts, or sesame seeds (or even sunflower seeds without shell or flaxseed)
¾ cup raisins (or dried cranberries)
¾ – 1 cup mayo (to taste)
¼ – ¾ cup shredded mozzarella cheese or blue cheese (to taste)
¼ cup minced red onion
1 tablespoon vinegar
1 tablespoon honey
salt & pepper
chopped bacon or fake bacon (optional and to taste)

Recipe:

1. Wash the broccoli first and dry it a little. Then chop it up real fine. A lot of recipes use larger bite-size pieces but the smaller the better! So do it as small as you have patience for. While you’re at it, chop up the onion and any nuts or seeds if you need to. Some people even like to mince the raisins or cranberries, so that’s up to you.
2. Mix together the mayo, honey, vinegar, and a pinch of salt and pepper. Stir it well.
3. In a serving bowl, mix together the broccoli, nuts or seeds, raisins, cheese, and onion. Add the dressing you just made and mix that all together. Let this chill for an hour or two. If you can, stir it every once in a while to make sure the dressing coats it well.
4. Add the bacon if you want any, stir, then serve! Goes great with barbecues, deli sandwiches, light beers, and white wines.

Tomayoto

Ingredients:

tomatoes of your choice
The Good Stuff: Hellman’s (Bring Out The Best yo) olive oil cracked pepper mayo (or any mayo + a pinch of black pepper)

Recipe:

1. Wash your tomatoes I guess! I forget sometimes but it’s a pretty good idea. Slice them into delicious 1/4″ tomato layers, then slice those into slivers. The size is up to you, but pretty much they will be dipped, so make them easy to grab. You can use a fork if you’re going to share or if you’re afraid of touching but not of eating tomato goop; if that’s the case, you can cut them however small you like.
2. Put some mayo onto a plate or bowl, so that you can dip the tomato. You can put the slices on there too. This step is important if you have a roommate or a mother. It doesn’t matter if you don’t live with mom, she’ll sense you didn’t use a plate.
3. Eat. Goes great with any sugardrink you can find or like three cups of water.