It’s Time To Wake Up!

We frequently are advising you on how to finally get some rest and what to do once you’ve become asleep, but today is a grey rainy day. And even if it isn’t grey and rainy where you are this morning, some day it will be. Grey days are usually ones where waking up seems like an impossibility, especially if it has been dreary for days in a row. It’s already almost 4pm? It feels like it’s only 8am. But get up! Get on your feet! Hup hup time’s a-wastin’ and there’s always something we should be doing! Always! All of us! We are all SUFFOCATING under the relentless pressure!

A 1950s clip art illustration of a woman looking unnaturally alert while pointing with her right hand to words right next to her -- but the woman has been modified to resemble Amandoll, with her asymmetrical hair and all. The words say, "Get to it."
Hup activated!

The hot tips I’m doling out to you today can be done in any order, after the first is out of the way. The first tip is the only mandatory one in getting out of bed and having a day of it. If you are confined to bed, I imagine you have your own hot tips and tricks to getting productivity underway, and if so, I welcome you to submit an article to us about it!

But first, appropriate music to wake up to in the year 2023.

Get Out of Bed

Your first impulse upon waking up at whatever time your day begins might be to smile at the birdsong and stretch happily, or it may be to roll over, cover your head, and cry yourself to sleep because the first paragraph I wrote up there comes naturally to you. But, you don’t want bed sores, so you might as well roll on out of your nest. No matter how you feel inside, I want you to say aloud: “Another day in Paradise.” Eventually you will trick yourself into believing it, and that will in turn trick the Universe into creating a paradise reality.

A 1950s clip art illustration of a business man pointing with his thumb sort of behind him has been converted to depict Jamie, a man in a baseball cap with a generic snoopy on it and a dark shirt making the same motion. The words say, "When we say paradise around here, we mean it!"
And don’t you forget it.

Shower, Dress

Maybe you like filth, maybe you prefer nudity — whatever! The spirit of this suggestion is that you do what it takes to get yourself into the mindset of a “fresh start.” Spray yourself with deodorants or citrus oils! Brush that rat’s nest that is your hairdo! Tame it! Look like you did something at all! Change from sleep mode into awake mode. Cleanliness and clothesliness are merely symbolic gestures to trick your mind into thinking something is HAPPENING. Because something IS happening.

A 1950s clip art of a really pleasant looking woman saying something, but her style has been changed to look like sneer campaign writer, Erica, so she has loose dark long hair. She is saying, "something is always happening."
Whether you want it to be or not!


As you stumble around blindly trying to make sense of the living world, hurl yourself towards your caffeine station. If you are like us, it takes about three cups of coffee before you become a human again, so get to chuggin! If you are not of the coffee sort, tea will do. If you want a cold, carbonated thing, reach for an energy drink. If you want something more immediate, there are caffeine pills still aren’t there? And I’m not going to advocate non-caffeine illegal forms of uppers because you’re not going to trap me that way!

1950s clip art illustration of man and woman holding up cups of coffee modified to be c Chris and Amandoll holding up tea and coffee respectively. The words next to their energetic, pleased faces say, "pick your poison."
For me, it’s the bitter bean.


Vitamins, supplements, “Metabolism Boosters,” ibuprofen, and maybe some kind of food should go into your body to wake it up. Vitamins help you grow and are like treats if you wisely buy gummy vitamins. Ibuprofen keeps you from hurting too much to be used as a distraction excuse. And food, well allegedly it keeps you alive. We have also discovered over the years that food can make us happy and provide energy! It’s so strange how that works. And so sad how we forget that like every single day.

1950s clip art illustration of a woman in profile. It has been modified to be Amandoll with a big striped hat and a scarf suggesting her colors. The words say: "Nutrition: not just a zany concept."
At least that’s the rumor going around.

Chugaluguh Water

I’m talkin’ ’bout that good hydration. Good good good, good hydration, bop bop. Water makes your body go in many ways but the most important way is liveliness. Your very cells liven up and get you moving around, alert, keen to seize the day. I’ve read that hydration can be via many liquids other than water, and I’ve read conflicting suggestions for how much a body needs in the day, but I can’t deny that a tall cool glass of water feels good. Who wouldn’t want to feel good every hour or so via the simple act of drinking water so fast that you feel a little unwell for a moment?

A 1950s clip art of a manically winking house wife has been modified to look like Billy Holiday -- a bald white man with a big handlebar mustache. He's a little feminine looking still. The words say, as a quote, "I hear that booze is a liquid! eheheh" That laugh is meant to seem sleazy. The quote is attributed to "billy holiday, in his finest role."
Totally normal.

Conversation and Laughter

This one varies by day and by mood — you do not always want to be energized by witty banter. Sometimes, being faced by clever and witty friends is an energy drain, not an energy boost. But there are certainly days where the exchange of words with a friend or group might give you a similar rush to caffeine. It might nourish you like breakfast foods or a 16 oz chug of water.

A 1950s clip art illustration of two women gabbing to each other but they have been modified to represent Saxon (with facial piercings) and Dollissa (with glasses and loose curly hair.) The words in the image say "banter wildly and often."
Gab gab gabble gobble.

To-Do Lists

Always have many pens and paper pads nearby for sudden bursts of list-making. Failing that, there are many apps (such as Simplenote) where you can quickly and easily make check lists. The main benefit of such a list is that it keeps you on track. But the other good thing about them is that if you encounter a lull in your productivity, that lull might have arrived with its friend “brain fog” in tow. As a duo, they might derail your entire rest of the day, but if you have an active to-do list, you can just glance and be inspired to trudge onward!

A 1950s clip art of a woman with her finger on her chin like she's thinking in a bewitching manner. But it has been altered to represent Alex T, looking still pretty girlish, honestly. But his hair is kind of in that Elvis hairdo style he seems to gravitate towards. The words say, "what's next?"
Consult the list.

Happy Light

The light that has been approved by SCIENCE for combating S.A.D. can be used at other times, too! Its powers are good at all times of year, at all times and types of day. We have discovered that even on sunny days, we can beam the light into our eye holes and trick our tired bodies into having more energy than when we were snoozily comfortable and not burning our retinas smooth.

A 1950s clip art illustration that was of a business man smiling and pointing skyward. It has been modified to depict a bearded man wearing a baseball long sleeved tee (omg Jeremy) pointing towards an overhead lamp. The words next to him say "supported by science."
A whole article of normal illustrations today.

M U S I C and Exercise

By this point you might have actually overshot the mark and can’t sit down in order to be productive. That’s fine. Just dance around until you inevitably start to calm back down and produce during that small window of time between “too hyper” and “the crash.” Your day of self-trickery and denying the natural tendency towards lethargy wouldn’t be complete without a soundtrack or dance party or juggling while on the tightrope between “mania” and “depression”!

A 1950s clip art of a man and a woman dancing in formal attire, but it has been modified to be Dollissa and her real life boyfriend, a guy with glasses and slightly shaggy hair and a short beard, and he has on a tuxedo in this, but not normally.
Any time of day or night!

Good luck to you.

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