Inspiration comes from many sources, and can strike at any time. Yes. I have drawn inspiration from a humorous Internet meme. I didn’t mean to. I didn’t even mean to see it! But I caught a glimpse of Axl Rose looking obese and sweaty, with that popular song lyric changed to “welcome to the jungle, we’ve got tons of cake,” and much like Axl, I found I wanted more!

Cheap shots against the fat such as Axl Rolls are easy to make and a dime a dozen, and really if we are being honest, so easy as to not even be funny. Is he fat because he sad eats? The side effects of medicine? The after effects of drug addiction? Is he okay? Will anyone ever ask him? Does anyone care? See? That’s all sad enough to almost cause me to sad eat, too! Instead, I’ve taken the high road, so difficult and twisty. I have burned many calories by thinking of alternate lyrics for the complete song! I worked up a sweat by feverishly drawing out these lyrics until I developed a sport injury in my arm. I have also worked up an appetite and I know what I’ll be singing in my head any time I eat for a long while now.

Please, if you need a more generous portion of the image below, click that thing. It gets bigger, just like all of our waist sizes as we age.