Who Needs Eyebrows, Anyway?

A long, long time ago, I was a young person full of young person energy. I wrote for a humor site on something called “the internet” during simpler times when things were leaner and meaner. With all of this energy, I wrote million word long articles, adminned that stupid forum with every ounce of my strength, chatted with 900 people simultaneously, and still had time to go to my then-boyfriend’s house for days at a time without any internet connection at all! It was during those stretches that I was able to fill up page after page of typewriter paper (yes that’s what I called it) with comics. Somehow, days must have contained dozens of more hours because I also was able to be embroiled in real life adventures.

I’m not bragging — I’m genuinely confused as to how it was possible at all.

At the time of the early 2000s, I considered myself to have a sophisticated sense of humor, even though (or as the hindsight of age tells me: especially because) I was just like twenty-two years old. Despite the company I kept, I felt that I was incisive, delightful, and so much better than one of my least favorite things of that era: the “lol random” internet humor. But, looking back at these old things I have to ask myself, “was I though?”

This is an old image from a past article Amandoll wrote about aging. It shows her looking behind her while her left arm is raised, as if she was about  to or just did check the time on her wristwatch.  Along the bottom it says "You aren't terrible, just older." 

It has been altered for this article though. She is staring bitterly at the self-portrait included in the comic. And it is labeled "the distant past."
It’s always time for brutal self-reflection.

Maybe it is because as I write this I am sickly and enfeebled, filled with the blight of the modern illnesses of these modern times, but when I decided to share my old comics today like I said I was going to do before — I found myself wincing. These are all so loud. I only looked at a few in my three ring binder today and felt like covering my ears. The energy, the lines, the wording I chose to use, the very plots themselves made me tired, so tired just from looking at them.

But hey! Maybe this is somehow exactly what you would like to see today. This, the only comic I bothered to ever do in color because I happened to have a pack of Micron brand pens that were of assorted colors. Maybe this is what you need. Two pages of shouting, weirdness, and amazing colorvision.

I really do need to re-make these, tailored to my current sensibilities, for my own peace of mind. Oh well. Click the images for enlargening purposes, of course.

This is a page of a two page comic titled "who needs eyebrows anyway?" The title panel touts that it is in amazing colorvision, and a little Amandoll from the year 2003 says from a circle: "Yeah, it's in color this time."

I am going to summarize these because there are so many words. Here on page one, a character by the name of Howard is found sitting on a park bench, weeping. His friend asks what is the matter and he says that when he was at the outdoor market, his eyebrows tore off from his head and flew away, into the sky.

The friend offers condolences and by the end of the page, another friend excitedly comes up to show what she just found. On her forearm, there appears to be two fuzzy little arches -- much like eyebrows!
This is the second page of the comic that I will be describing:

Howard is delighted that his friend apparently found his eyebrows. He snatches them from her and puts them on his forehead. But they begin crawling away!

His friend is like, "they are caterpillars you moron" and Howard, in a burst of desperation, smooshes them dead onto his head, which is gross. 

His friends depart at this point because they are disgusted by his actions. A passing robot, who might be a hobo robot, says to Howard, "I'll be your friend" and Howard is just like "no thanks."

The last panel is just of the robot sniffling and shedding a tear. Alone. The end.

Fun Amandoll Fact: In the year 2003, when this comic was made, I didn’t even drink coffee yet!

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