Sometimes in life you just want to take a seat and cry. Sometimes you want to shout that everything is wrong and the world is terrible. Sometimes you want to blame someone or something. Sometimes you are filled with such a rage that your tomato red cartoon head starts to shoot steam out of your ears.

My friends, what you need is Duckman.

In the Great United States of America, we have some problems. These problems may or may not exist worldwide, and you may or may not be personally dealing with them, wherever you live. People have been clamoring for someone who “tells it like it is.” Well I’ve found him!

This little yellow man has nothing good to say. He hates feminists, political correctness, science, music, reading, one of his children, taxes, people, places, and things. He is angry, a pervert, a bad father. He is a terrible private detective, hard to deal with, and always shouting. He’s perfect. He’s what America needs.

Like most wonderful things, Duckman is from the 90s. Although it started as an obscure comic, the cartoon we know and love aired on the USA Network, home of primarily mediocre shows. The once-married superb team of Klasky Csupo did the animation; you probably know them from the nostalgic children’s hits Rugrats and Aaahh!!! Real Monsters.

Right now a lot of it is on YouTube, but feel free to use the method of your choosing. Here’s a collection of clips showing that Cornfed is not quite Duckman’s Gal Friday, but the one who does all the detective work and also all of the reasonable talking. What the hell are you starin’ at!?