Every year, Dollissa’s beautiful, enchanted sister has something she calls “Beach Week.” She and her friends (and family) go to one of the many beaches on the East Coast for a week or so, soaking up the rays, running the dogs around, and playing games. Sometimes Dollissa goes, sometimes she doesn’t. This year, she did!

I, on the other hand, have pretty much never been to the beach. I never really considered myself to be missing much, really, as I never considered myself to be a “beach person.” However, this year that all changed! While Dollissa went to Virginia Beach, by coincidence, I went to Topsail Island, North Carolina, with Jamie! We both went to these beach excursions the first week of August and probably plenty of subsequent articles on Sneer Campaign will involve all of our anecdotes and life lessons learned while ocean side.

For now, we can all just enjoy this overindulgent self portrait that is hardly even based on any kinds of reality. I am not a sunbather, Dollissa doesn’t frolic in the waves, nor does she have a bathing suit with Secretariat on it. I do have a hat that is much like the one I am wearing here though. PS I would kill for a bathing suit in my colors. Kill.