Still Clownin’

I don’t think we have mentioned clowns, clowning, or clownery in a while. Or maybe I mentioned it as recently as last year. I guess what I want you to know is that clowns are never far from our minds — but it’s not a sickness. I’m telling you it’s not a sickness before you see this overindulgent self portrait for this month that, upon completion, seemed to maybe not send exactly the message I was going for.

An overindulgent self portrait of Amandoll and Dollissa in mirrored, slinky poses, in similar formal gowns. Dollissa's is mostly pinks and metallic gold, and Amandoll's is a dress of her ugly striped shirt's colors (blue, lime, magenta, and grey) with silver.

They are surrounded by a crowd of fourteen clowns looming over them and it seems really unseemly but it wasn't meant to be. That is why I made it look like the magazine cover it was based on and titled it "Like Clown Moths to Two Idiot Flames" so that there is nothing untoward suggested.

Rather than making this a whole post a desperate sounding disclaimer where I appear to be protesting too much, I would rather tell you about one of my holiday gifts from the winter holiday season: a little book called The Clown Egg Register.

According to that link to Amazon dot com, it is a Funny Book, Book About Clowns, Quirky Books — one of the finest literary genres!

Dollissa and Manny gave me this book, and some full eggs painted like clowns/luchadores. Dollissa broke the back of her egg somehow and I accidentally dropped the one Manny made right on the carpet of my office floor, providing the world with these tiny Instax camera artwork masterpieces which I will share with you now.

Photograph taken of two tiny photos of a broken egg, yolk splattered, across a carpet so dark green that it looks black in the pictures. In the background is a surviving painted clown egg.
R.I.P. egg clown.

The gift also led to the overindulgent self-portrait of today. Originally, we were to be surrounded by our friends dressed in tuxedos. But then my art program crashed and I lost every bit of my work. It is because fate and destiny work mysteriously. I then Knew that I should instead go for clowns, real historical clowns. However, since I was working off of eggs, I had to make up their outfits and heights. In fact, we can just pretend that Dollissa and I hired male models to dress in clownface for this official portrait piece.

But I will honor them, and I will honor your natural tendency towards curiosity, by telling you who these clowns even are.

A portion of the self portrait showing seven of the clowns (described below) and Dollissa.
From left to right.

Taffy – a British clown born in 1930 that did a lot of charity work.
Actually A Made-Up Clown – but I wouldn’t mind an Art Deco Mime hanging around.
Jo-Jono description in this book. He was just part of a clown egg collection page.
Zaz – is still alive and living in Brighton, England, as of the publication of this book. Go see him at his own little circus called Circus Pazaz.
Mr Woo – no actual details of his human life are part of the short paragraph about Mr Woo but he was Clowns International Benevolent Officer for some years.
Paul Jung – no mention of when he was born but he was found murdered by a drug addict in 1965.
Juliusno description in this book. He was also part of a four egg page. He was right under Chunky Russell, seen in the next segment.

A portion of the self portrait showing seven of the clowns (described below) and Amandoll.
Again, from left to right.

Frankie Saluto – born in 1906 and only 3’10” tall, nowhere does it explain why he chose such terrifying face paint.
Roly – born in 1954, a triplet and an ordained priest in the Church of England. This clown could save souls which is unlike a usual sort of clown.
Clown Fottit – I made him standing uncomfortably near me because his name made me laugh aloud. Born in 1864 and died in 1921 with lots of acrobatic antics in between.
Tom Fun – a still-alive Welsh clown who sounds awfully sad and looks very un-fun, but I still really like his name
Chunky Russellno description in this book! He looks so close to just A Normal, Loudly Dressed Man.
Ivo – a Dorset clown that sounds like he just fell into clowning due to being part of social clubs — he’s also a dairy manager at times of his life.
Buttons – A gigantic 6’7″ clown born in the year 1943, he had a children’s show in Chicago.

Sneer Back

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.